I should just hand him the phone, and say, "hey, this guy wants you to tell him all about Minecraft, Rainbow Loom, and Pokemon!!"
With my 3 year old replace those with things with the trips up to the iron range, the threshing shows, and the railroad museum in Golden, CO. The kid would talk for hours if you let him.
I drive a '95 Impala. I can hold the brakes at a stop and floor the throttle, and cut the back tires loose.
Congratulations you have successfully mastered the art of the burn out with one wheel (I doubt you have a limited slip diff in that thing) on street tires. Now depending on what the vehicle has for rear brakes this this might be somewhat impressive to someone (4 wheel disk) or is just meh (rear drum). You also didn't mention that the front wheels stay put during this exercise. To be fair I did similar things in my '97 BMW 540i but that had 4 wheel disk brakes with an aftermarket posi diff but even then the front wheels would stay planted.
Speaking of burnouts I take it you haven't seen a real drag race. Even with some nice extra wide hot drag slicks on the back with the small pizza cutter tires in front the braking action only cause the car to slide forward very slowly.
Variables don't; constants aren't.