Pay half the bill and tell them you have a proprietary methodology by which you count money.

Very different in MD - no ID required, they just ask for name, address and date of birth; if this matches registration - you're in. Almost too lax since all this information can be mined online in many cases.

This reminds me of a joke from early 90s "wild capitalism" era in Russia.

Two former classmates meet, one is a poor engineer, another is a "new russian" type cool businessman.
New Russian: Oh, great to see you, how are you doing?
Poor Engineer: Life sucks, no money etc. etc. But look at you... You were the stupidest student in the class, and look at you now. How do you do it?!
New Russian: Well, running business, you know. Buying beer kegs for $100, selling them for $200. This 2% margin is what I live on.