Does it play Mario Bros?

8 track tape

Everyone in West Virginia knows their Civil War history. If not for the war West Virginia wouldn't exist. Having grown up in WV and now living in the south I am surprised at how few people down here even know WV is a state. I guess after a hundred and forty five years they're still sore over WV seceding from Virginia. They must refuse to teach it in history class while they sit patiently and wait for the northern usurpers to leave.

robot that sweeps floors, or is that the one that cleans gutters?

the newly created Microsoft Motors has had to issue it's 23rd recall notice this year with engine failures reaching 54%. Microsoft is currently in talks with the Obama administration concerning a possible bailout of their Motor Division.

for the coal powered electric plant that produces the electricity to turn that salt water into clean jet fuel.

For now the cost of running your car off the grid is cheap, but wait til everyone else is doing it and the price will sky rocket. When the price of coal went up because the EPA banned high sulfur coal many factories and power plants switched to natural gas because it was cheaper. And now we all pay more to heat our homes in winter because the demand for natural gas has gone up. But really, what we need are cars that can be driven manually with gas power on local roads, and on the freeway a lane where they are operated like a personal rapid transit system using electricity.

Sometimes the point of playing isn't to win. Back in the days of Unreal Tournament 99 with all the cool mods and custom maps half the fun was just pissing people off. Specifically the players with "skill" who always took things too seriously and went around trying to impress everyone with their moves. It was always fun to spam the hell out of them so they couldn't even move. Block them from ever reaching the goal. Let them get set up in their favorite camping areas then put a bullet in their head. Then do it again. And again. They would get so pissed and call everyone losers with no skills but we were the ones having all the fun. There was this one map with long tunnels between the two flags and these weapons that shot slugs as big as a football that sent out shock waves of damage, and if you shot two really quick and detonated the first one it would cause the 2nd to move down the hall at about 2 mph killing anyone who tried to move past it. The game would go on for 20 minutes with no one being able to score. Funny as hell.

So now we can starting using the human body to produce electricity?

And where do you get your golden nuggets of knowledge? Going to run out of fossil fuels soon? The last estimates I have seen on coal reserves, and these are just those in the United States, indicate we have at least 300 years left, and every time someone says we're running out of oil some huge deposit is discovered somewhere that makes the one in Saudi Arabia seem like a puddle. If you are referring to the fossil fuels the environmentalists and their allies in Washington will allow us to use then yes, we will run out of fossil fuels very soon and have to import 100% of our energy from countries that would rather kill us than say hello. Thank you for demonstrating the effectiveness of government education.

And all this crap about CO2? CO2 is one of a handful of gasses that contributes less than 3% to the so called green house effect. Water vapor contributes over 96%. When do the environmentalists ever bother to mention that? If you removed 100% of all CO2 from the atmosphere, other than the extermination of all plant life on earth, the net effect on the global temperature would be about 2 degrees. CO2 is not a leading indicator of climate change, it is a trailing indicator. If you look at charts plotting rise in CO2 and rise in temperature in ice cores, tree ring growths, and sediment samples, you see that as temperatures rise, more CO2 is released from rotting vegetation, from ice flows, and methane ice. Correlation does not imply causation. Something they obviously don't teach in schools anymore.

to get Jimmy Carter to certify the results. Whether the election actually took place is irrelevant.

Also lectrazine

And another 12% clicked on the link that said "Install Malware Now" and didn't know why they did it.

And should be executed immediately!

So this is a portable version of that vibrating thing? Oh, sorry, never mind...