I definitely agree with the AC here. Before I say anymore, I'll preface the rest of my comments with extending my sympathies for the situation you find yourselves in, as well as to suggest I have no real experience with anything remotely similar, so my advice is meant in good faith.

That being said, I recommend taking a few minutes to listen to the "This American Life" episode where a mother dying of a terminal disease left letters for her young daughter to be read annually. From the story's description, "At first the letters were comforting, but as time went on, they had much more complicated effects."

You can stream the episode from http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/401/parent-trap (I'm recommending the "Letter Day Saint" act 1 story).

I believe his name is "Drew Curtis" - note the terminal "S".

Is that you, PGURRIERI?

(I can't believe I'm burning my ability to mod to post this)

That one seems to have entered the popular lexicon.

Just like John Fogerty was sued for writing songs that sounded too much like songs written by...John Fogerty

How about this: Violence begets violence, and therefore you shouldn't perpetuate the cycle?

Or, would you rather that your child is beaten by their spouse, regardless of how successful they become? Oh, wait, in your mind, it's easier to for them to be the one doing the smackin' around...