According to Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts, paying his colleagues a "mere" $200k, with federal district court judges languishing on just $165k, is "inadequate" and "has now reached the level of a constitutional crisis."

Inadequate compensation directly threatens the viability of life tenure, and if tenure in office is made uncertain, the strength and independence judges need to uphold the rule of law - even when it is unpopular to do so - will be seriously eroded

Frankly, I'm not convinced of his core assumption that "life tenure" is desirable, let alone essential - I'd prefer term limits, the very opposite, or at least having them face regular election to make them accountable to those they profess to serve. Perhaps he does have a point that without the taxpayer making judges rich directly, their greed will drive them into the pockets of lobbyists, but I suspect the opposite is more likely: make them richer and you'll be attracting more people motivated by money, rather than more laudable motives, as in the Simpsons episode where America entrusts the trillion dollar bill to Montgomery Burns: as the richest man, clearly he's the least corrupt.

1. State I'd rather live in: TX
2. Stranded on island/desert: I'll take the dessert, please.
3. What "catches your eye" first in the opposite sex? Head - face, hair, expression, eyes.
4. How much do you think a guy should spend on an engagement ring? No idea
5. How old do you want to be when you retire? N/A - the idea of stopping work just because you hit some arbitrary age seems daft.
6. ? Probably.
7. Would you rather be the smartest person in the world or the most attractive person in the world? Smartest: looks fade much more readily.
8. Do you think tattoos are hot? Not really.
9. What was your first pet? A black Labrador.
10. Where did you go on your first Spring Break? Nope.
11. Are you scared of spiders or snakes? Not unless they're dangerous ones.
12. What was your first job? IT, scraping mangled bits off mangled servers.
13. What is in your front, right pocket? Handkerchief, some coins.
14. Do you put up a real Christmas tree each year? Usually - it's in the back of the car ATM...
15. How many blankets are on your bed? Just the one duvet.
16. Do you have a TV in your bedroom? No, just three or four computers.
17. When was the last time you received a card in the mail? This morning.
18. There is no question 18. Wrong: it's just rhetorical.
19. Who was the last person that text-messaged you? Probably my brother.
20. Who was the first person you saw today? Ditto - we're heading out for our weekly lunch together soon.
21. Do you have any awards hanging on your wall? No.
22. Do you own glasses? Yes - tried contacts, didn't like them.
23. When is the last time you shaved something on your body? My face, yesterday.
24. MIA.
25. What was your first vehicle? A Peugeot, with slightly dodgy brakes, which embedded itself in the back of something solid on its first outing. Not a good start.
26. Do you miss high school? Sometimes.
27. Are you more of a neat or messy person? Ask the team searching for the carpet.
28. Do you think that everyone should have a cell phone? Yes. Preferably one which only rings silently.
29. Do you remember your first family vacation? France - when my brother was taken ill and my mother had to explain to the doctor why she didn't want to give a two year old child aspirin.
30. Ever been in a fight with a best friend? Sort of - we argue over technical points all the time.
31. Ever puked in public? Only once - on the ceiling.
32. Would you prefer dinner and a movie or bowling and ice cream? The former.
33. Do you sleep with your door open or closed at night? Slightly open, so my cat can get in and out.
34. How far do you live from work? 20-odd miles, costing about $18/day by public transport. Not good value, even with $7/gallon as the alternative.
35. Do you believe in afterlife? Not particularly.
36. How many credit cards do you own? Five: one AmEx (which I normally use for the loyalty points), one Visa (which I normally use in places which don't take AmEx) and three MasterCard (two disused, one which I use at the moment becase it's interest free until September).
37. Would you move to another country tomorrow, if you were offered a $100,000 job? That depends on the country. The US, Australia, Canada? In a heartbeat. Iraq? Probably not.
38. How many kids do you see yourself having? Probably one or two, depending on circumstances.
39. Were you a trouble child? In some ways; I wasn't a big fan of rules.
40. Do you like butterflies? Yes.
41. Can you shake your booty? Erm... never tried - not really my thing.
42. Do you shower at night or in the morning? Morning.
43. Where is your favorite place to eat? It varies. I'm planning to try this place soon - most of my favorites are similar to that. There's a good Thai place in town where I'll probably have lunch today, though.
44. What did you wear to bed last night? A cat and a duvet.
45. Do you have to sleep with something "ON" every night in order to sleep? I like to have some music, although XP x64's driver "issues" robbed me of that lately :-(
46. On average, how much TV do you watch a day? Two hours, I suppose, while multi-tasking.
47. Do you have any piercings? No.
48. Would you rather go snorkeling in the Caribbean or hiking on the Appalachian Trail? Hiking: I'm too attached to being able to breathe.
49. Have you ever taken karate lessons? No, just judo.
50. Do you think if you got married, you would ever get a divorce? It's possible, but I hope not.

Just wait until you see the mess the french "education" system has managed to dig itself into... Who wants to win a brain cell?

Hrm. The latest piece of spam to hit my spambucket had a German title ("Gesundheit u. Medizin"), and the sender address was Ethelred. Apparently he's giving away Cadillac Escalades...

Then two more: one with content of "shagface" (and nothing else - no URL, nothing being advertised, nothing!) - and "Hey, Thanks for everything. I really appreciate all your help. Lila", which claimed to come from an Israeli email address and was sent to at least 8 addresses on this domain.

I can understand spammers promoting their online Viagra sales or whatever - but bizarre partly-German messages about free Cadillacs? Maybe they're just trying to validate their list, by seeing how many people actually reply - assuming the return address they put is actually valid?

Maybe I should just be glad they're still identified as spam, usually because of the open relays being abused to deliver them...

1. Legal first name? James
2. Were you named after anyone? No
3. Do you wish on stars? No
4. When did you last cry? When my cat died a few years ago, I think.
5. What is your favorite lunch meat? Chicken or beef, I suppose.
6. What is your birth date? Feb 24
7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Probably
8. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yep.
9. What are your nicknames? None.
10. Would you ever bungee jump? Maybe.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not normally.
12. Do you think that you are strong? Fairly
13. What is your favorite ice cream flavour? Mint choc chip
14. Shoe size? 11 UK, 12 US I think - varies a little with manufacturer
15. Red or pink? Red
16. Who do you miss most? Moving targets.
18. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? None right now, usually jeans and black shoes.
19. What are you listening to right now? A TV show
20. What did you eat for breakfast? Toasted cheese
21. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Stripey :-)
22. What is the weather like right now? Cold, Damp and grey. It's Scotland.
23. Last person you talked to on the phone? My best friend, if text counts; my mother if not.
24. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hair.
25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I saw it in a set of friends' JEs; I guess I like them!
26. Favorite drink? Lemonade or coffee.
27. Hair color? Dark brown
28. Do you wear contacts? No.
29. Favorite food? Steak.
30. Last movie you watched? Erm... no idea.
31. Favorite day of the year? No idea
32. Scary movies or happy endings? Scary
33. Summer or winter? Winter
34. Hugs or kisses? Yes please :P
35. What is your favorite dessert? Cheesecake
36. Living arrangements? House.
38. What's on your mouse pad? The rest of the chair.
39. What did you watch last night on TV? ST:TNG, right now.
40. Favorite smell?
41. Favorite junk food?
42. Rolling Stones or Beatles? No.
43. What's the farthest you've been from home? Physically, Texas; culturally, France, whose Prime Minister was apparently talking about the need to "clean the immigrant scum with a power hose". Lovely.

Apparently a new study indicates BSE (Mad Cow Disease) may have first infected cattle as a result of human remains in their feed. An interesting reversal of the previous assumptions about CJD's origins - which raises the obvious chicken/egg problem: if CJD actually spread to cattle to become BSE, where did CJD really come from?

These are actual notes from Doctors' patient charts...

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused an autopsy.

9. The patient has no past history of suicides.

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel re-section. However, he took a job as a lawyer instead.

27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

(This rant brought to you by a chunk of my life wasted trying to achieve something in Excel which should have been trivial, but was needlessly complicated by Microsoft's use of defective bacteria to write software.)

You might think a search and replace function was trivial. Indeed, I'm sure that even the non-programmers among us could figure it out given a good book or two and a few hours to experiment. However, that is why you aren't working for Microsoft, developing infuriating paperclips...

Yep, that's right. The lobotomized ass-spawn who brought us such masterpieces of user-friendly software as MS Bob and That Infernal Paperclip managed to screw up one of the most basic text manipulation functions, "Replace". Try it on a cell too large, you're hit with "Formula too large." Never mind that it is text, with no formula in sight. Never mind that Excel allows manual editing (plus saving, loading, importing and exporting) of this data just fine. Never mind that OpenOffice's spreadsheet component manages it just fine. *snarl*. Where would I like to go today? Well, how about a trip a decade into the future, by which time hopefully Microsoft have managed to recruit somebody with programming skills good enough to pass at least a high school beginners' programming exam?

Never one to be outdone by Microsoft, the Novell DHCP server decides this would be a good day to start disabling DHCP allocations. Time to retire that particular bug collection, I think.

Finally, to crown it all, I find out a guy from my old school (a couple of years below me) died yesterday. Can anything else find a way to go wrong before bed?

Scary. One woman in England, with fifteen children (plus seven miscarriages) is claiming welfare payments equivalent to an $89,000/yr salary - in addition to free housing, healthcare and education, of course. Last Christmas she spent around $9k, including two PS2s, two TVs and a few bicycles. Her comment on this? The house the taxpayer provides for her isn't big enough. Never a thought of trying to earn money herself to fund her way of life, of course: that's everyone else's problem...

Promising comments from the top - he doesn't have the power to implement it, of course, but should have some influence.

After my last JE, I found myself losing service entirely for around ten minutes during a journey - starting right in the middle of a mid-size city. Oh, that wonderful legacy technology...

The cellphone industry seems even more enthusiastic about bizarre acronyms than most technology areas, but this guy knows his way around them better than many. A good explanation of the nature of TDMA, GSM (actually an alternative layer on top of TDMA, as he explains) and CDMA, as well as the two competing CDMA derivatives, WCDMA (also known as UMTS or "3g") and CDMA2000, although he does focus more on the lower levels of the technology and how GSM's weaknesses are causing major headaches for the networks using it, rather than the security flaws in the higher levels...

Just joining in QotOR's trend here...

(x) smoked a cigarette -- most of a packet one night, along with a couple of cigars.
( ) crashed a friend's car -- only my own - see below...
( ) stolen a car (a friends)
(x) been in love -- haven't we all?
(x) been dumped -- sort of, depending who tells it...
( ) shoplifted -- caught my best friend doing it once, though.
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight -- sort of: broke someone's wrist with my face once...
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
( ) lied to a friend
( ) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your internet friends -- too limited for that. I'd need to meet someone in person first.
(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico -- Texas, but only the far side of it. I do love Tex-Mex food, though...
(x) been on a plane -- including the front seat.
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten sushi -- one of my favorite foods, in fact.
(x) been skiing
(x) met someone from the internet
(x) been at a concert
(x) taken painkillers
( ) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party -- never been to Boston, either.
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
( ) played dress up -- unless being on TV counts
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game -- single-player only!
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID -- had a guy from Pakistan try to buy one from me for EUR7000 once though.
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) slept beneath the stars -- if in tents counts
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) petted a reindeer /kangaroo
(x) won a contest
( ) run a red light/stop sign
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car crash -- brakelines cut. Not good. I didn't need medical attention after that one, though, unlike the bus crash which had me kept in overnight for observation, since I passed out later that day, having left a head-shaped dent in the back of the bus; come to think of it, that's the only night I've ever spent in hospital.
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast/third person
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
( ) liked the way you looked
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
( ) been lost
(x) been on the opposite side of the country
( ) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins -- in a country where the smallest note is around $9 and the largest normal coin almost $4, that's not hard...
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't do
( ) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about -- I want to
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
( ) sang in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something -- superglue. Fortunately, it didn't stick for long.
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
( ) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours -- unless the Internet counts. Record: over 150 hours on a single call, back when per-minute charges applied except to calls starting on a weekend...
(x) stayed up all night
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
( ) scared to watch a scary movie alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
( ) played gay chicken? -- uh, what is that?
( ) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
( ) told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone -- cut the tip of my finger off once, but reattached it
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
( ) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name -- all the time. Which is strange, since I have an excellent memory for almost everything else...
( ) french braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub -- a friend tried to talk me into it once, but no...
(x) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
( ) loved someone so much you would gladly die for them

Hm. So last night's evacuation of 20,000 or so people from Birmingham turns out to have been a false alarm, it seems - but one of the "suspicious packages" included "a box with wires hanging out and a switch on top". A genuine accident, given the timing and the box's appearance? That seems unlikely - more likely, someone is trying to cause "false" alarms like this. Last night, just two days after Thursday's attack on London, of course everyone took it seriously - will they react as well the third time in a row? Then a genuine one, and recriminations for not taking that warning seriously as well...

In a sense - if it was deliberate - last night was a successful attack, and very economical too: not an ounce of explosives, not one shred of incriminating evidence (just some guys carrying backpacks on a bus, then 'forgetting' them when they get off) - yet it caused huge disruption to people's lives, economic harm: a very effective DoS.

Manipulating warnings of a terrorist attack is nothing new, of course; the IRA did so in the Omagh bombing, phoning in a last-minute warning to evacuate the other end of the target street, resulting in people being rushed towards the actual bomb.

Uh-oh. Something bad about to happen? A hoax? Something bad prevented from happening? Presumably we'll find out soon...

Update: More comprehensive article here.

• If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
• Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
• Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
• For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
• A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
• If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
• Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.