In Comcast territory now, and thinking about moving to Time Warner territory. Better the devil you know and all that. I hope they merge before I move, so I don't have to change companies and deal with a bunch of all new bullshit.

I can't upgrade to the newest Windows? Linux is a piece of shit. I want my money back!

Considering my wife just made it official, and she is now all the way to morbidly obese, the image of that cow munching on clover makes me giggle.

In all seriousness, when I was a kid growing up in the '70s and '80s, Doritos were like the most awesome thing ever, and I loved those things. Doritos, Oreos, Pringles and Fritos were my favorite pleasures on earth.

Two things have changed since then. First, I bet if I could go back in time and look at that "big" bag of Doritos I used to savor for a month or something, it was probably only a little bigger than a modern "big grab" bag, if not the same size. Second, I only got to eat any of the above foods once in a rare while, because they were "too expensive" to keep on hand. My staple diet growing up was home cooking from either my aunt or my mother.

We all need more home cooking, and less junk. Junk has its place, but too many of us make a staple diet of it, and I'm pretty close to being as bad for this as you can get. Some weeks I literally live on Doritos and Dr. Pepper and never have a real meal at all. Imagine, if you will, how it could possibly have come to pass that I am overweight, and about to turn obese. It helps nothing that I earn money by putting my ass in a seat and doing very little physical activity.

Unless you're a porn star or an athlete, there's just no money in physical activity.

Human breast milk, along with broccoli, is another thing that tastes remarkably like shit.

I happen to know this one, because I went on an exploratory mission to try to figure out why our first born was starving to death. I found out soon enough. He wouldn't drink that shit either. Gross. Put him on some Similac 20 years ago, and now I no longer have to mow my lawn or take out the trash. Ha!

Tried it. Too abrasive on the external sphincter, even with buckets of lube. I don't know how the woman's mud cutter takes such abuse, but I'm not complaining.

Personally, I feel the gorge rising in my throat just imagining the sight of such a thing.

That's actually pretty interesting to contemplate. I'll eat pretty much any kind of animal, and I would starve to death as a vegetarian (vegetables: you chew for days, they taste like shit, and you never get full), but the thought of eating some random totally useless human (there are trailer parks and prisons full of them) makes me quite ill. I feel the same way about dogs. I really love dogs, and I could never knowingly eat a dog, although I don't give two shits about horses, and I'd be all over a horse's ass buffet.

People are weird.

Side note: Vegetables literally do taste like shit. I have a basis for comparison, and no, I didn't like shit any more than I liked broccoli. Not my flavor, though you can't say I lack a spirit of adventure!

When I was a little kid, I watched in horror as my cat ate her kittens. They did look kind of like mice, I grant you, but that was just wrong. Everybody loves kittens! Except mother cats, apparently.

Because raping little virgin boys won't cure AIDS either.

Huh? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O...

...asserting that any person with even one ancestor of sub-Saharan-African ancestry ("one drop" of African blood) is considered to be black (Negro in historical terms)...

Now my neckbeard is the last remaining obstacle I have to passing fully for a woman!

I laughed. If you think a few little LEDs are bad, you should try working night shift. Blackout curtains, aluminum foil over the windows, light tight gaskets under the doors; every tiny chink in the armor is another hateful beam of bright glowing light.

I hate night shift. Three years of this crap; I need a new job.

True story: Shortly after switching to Linux back in '01, I did a clever demonstration for my wife, showing her how an ordinary user couldn't screw anything serious up by accident. I went to a shell and issued:

rm -rf /

Look honey, a million error messages, because my user doesn't have the right to delete any of the system files! You can't mess this up!

Just then, it iterated into /home. Oops.

As it happens, I went on a vacation since the last time I was writing. I hadn't been there in almost 10 years, and I had never gone there as a tourist before.

I found what I'm looking for. I need to figure a lot of stuff out, and then I'm moving. I won't stop my wife from tagging along, but this isn't about pleasing her in any way. I gave her my youth, and now it's time to live for myself. I never had that luxury, since I went straight from being a son obligated to his mommy to a father obligated to his wife and children. I've lived my entire life in service to someone, and I'm through. I'm done. I'm out of here as soon as practicable.