I think using the word "soviet" is even funnier.

All we need is to get it litigated. It is unlikely to survive. Somebody has to put up the money to do it, though.

Net Army Faction. You know what to do.

On average people buy a new phone every six months

I sincerely hope that's not true. That would be unconscionably wasteful. And for what? Incremental improvements in one frivolous function or other? Or do they just not last more than six months? It sounds a bit dubious, given that the contract periods are typically at least a year long.

After you.

What if she's gay? What if she hates nerds? What if she hates you? What if she has three strains of herpes, two of papilloma, and a few things that produce an occasional flow of pus? What if she is really conceited, mean, and ornery (but hot)? What if you don't like her right from the start? What if she has severe emotional issues? What if she's used to bossing around horny little dweebs like you?

They did. The only detectable response was muffin fan noises. NASA took it as a "yes."

...would be pretty crappy compared to getting laid by my wife sometimes

I detect some ambiguity here. It would sometimes be crappy compared to getting laid by your wife, or be crappy compared to sometimes getting laid by your wife?

How many centuries would it take to make Mars a viable biosphere for terrestrial life?

Many, many, many, probably in the tens or hundreds of thousands. I have never heard of an even remotely feasible scheme to get a viable atmosphere going on Mars. Without that, the chances of significant or durable colonization are essentially zero.

You are referring only to the English conquest of North America. The rest of the hemisphere was conquered by Iberians, who 1) enslaved everyone, and 2) fucked as many of the women as was humanly possible, giving rise to Mestizaje

the folks with IQs over 120 are a fast shrinking part of the population

No. As the population grows, the number of people at the second standard deviation will grow proportionately. By definition.

They've stopped mailing out millions upon millions of CDs. That must have saved a few bucks.

What was that scary crunching noise!

Unless one is an anti-suck suck.

Mathematics is the language of science. (all science)

This is utterly and completely false. It is used in some aspects of some sciences to highly varying degrees. To say it is the fundamental language of science is absolute rubbish. The only "math" that is universally necessary in science is the logic required to formulate and test a solid hypothesis.