Starlink uses highly-directional beams to connect a user to the satellite. Both the user terminal and the satellite have to know where the other is to enable high-speed connectivity. For typical high-bandwidth communication satellites in geostationary orbit, the "footprint" per beam is relatively large, but those satellites have terrible latency (the distance to GEO is roughly the circumference of the planet, so your round-trip time, even at light speed, is quite significant). Starlink uses a low earth orbit, only a few hundred miles (or KM) up. This means that the footprint of each beam is tiny, so it needs to know fairly precisely where the users are.
Why does this matter? Well, if China wants to say "no using Starlink in this country until they let us censor everything" and Starlink doesn't enable that censorship, then they won't be licensed to operate in China. That doesn't physically stop them from aiming beams at China, of course, but that would be detectable (and in violation of the bandwidth allocation by the Chinese equivalent of the FCC). Because the beam footprints are so tiny, you can't really say "Oh sorry, we have a customer in Nepal, we didn't mean to let people in Tibet access the system"; that excuse just wouldn't fly. If Starlink doesn't have approval from China, they probably just won't aim any beams at it.
Also, China could just arrest anybody with a Starlink user terminal. Phased array antennas are not small or particularly subtle; they're roughly the size of a pizza box. Even if SpaceX were willing to allow service in China without government approval, and deal with the resultant incident (which would probably get them in hot water with the US government, for violating international agreements about national sovereignty and spectrum use and so on), the user on the ground still needs hardware.
Or, to put it differently: Starlink doesn't enable connectivity anywhere that Iridium doesn't already provide, it's just much faster and (hopefully) cheaper. Iridium user terminals are small enough to hold in one hand, though, because they don't use phased arrays. One way or another, the Chinese government (and everybody else) can endure this problem; they already are, and have been for decades.