You're not fucking blind - you can use a device with a 3.7" screen. So a pathetic whining brat struggling to see through your self-pitying tears maybe, but not blind. So you're short sighted. Join the club. It would be really funny at this point if you wanted to get in to the whole game of "who is more visually impaired?".
"Zooming and panning is NOT a substitute for raw screen area and pixel density."
- So what, you just download Google Maps for the entire planet and look closely at the bit you're interested in?
"Look at TVs. Look at portable media players. Look at the iPad."
- Great examples! Every single one about 200ppi or less, used at a distance greater than 12", and with significantly lower resolution than pictures taken with a decent camera (e.g. 1,920 * 1080p TV vs 4,272 * 2,848 pixel picture). Some people might say that when making a point about using a bigger screen to avoid zooming, these would be incredibly fucking stupid examples to give. But I say you must be a genius visiting from another reality where it makes sense.
"Who the fuck came up with the 12" inch rule?"
- No one. It's not even a rule. But as a guideline, it is simply an observation of the reality the rest of us live in. Try staying for a while. It's fun, honest. You might even learn how to speak to people.
Listen, I know you're probably real pleased with your journey to this world so far. Figuring out that a TV screen is larger than a mobile phone must have been a real achievement, coming from a place where 1080 is more than 2848 and all. But there's some tricky stuff you need to get to grips with, like being able to understand two sentences at a time. Entire paragraphs, even. Here's an example:
"Not to mention when using a computing device rather than print, zoom is a reasonable substitute for taking a closer look. So do screens need to get better than 300ppi?"
Humans use this thing called context. It helps deal with complex concepts where individual sentences aren't enough. I mean, you could just read the first sentence above on its own, but that's kind of stupid. On its own, you might start thinking about devices with less than 300ppi. That would lead to some pretty moronic thinking, thinking about phones with lower resolution, or something really dumb like TV screens in a thread about high density computer displays. Not good - people will wonder what's wrong with you. Your disguise might not hold up.
Words like "reasonable" are a dead giveaway, too. That pretty much tells you the discussion is going to require some subtlety. Be sure you're capable of understanding the conversation before diving in.
Not everyone's going to think you're a genius. So my tips: learn how to count, learn how to read, cut the swearing so you don't draw to much attention to yourself. And enjoy your stay.