I do appreciate your perspective on this - I think most folks with a very black and white opinion of this situation (myself include sadly) are probably mistaken about something. That being said, one thing about your comment disturbs me.
Any discussion that tries to lump massive groups of population and assign traits to them is going to fail ... (And you can't get around that by liberally sprinkling the phrase 'on average'.)
How then does one talk about averages? Aren't they sometimes important? Particularly if the "problem" one is trying to address is merely one of averages itself (i.e. the gender gap). I think that most people (perhaps yourself included) are not truly bothered by lumping people together, but instead bothered that the conclusion isn't flattering. Suppose I said the following three things (and, I am NOT saying that I believe any of these things - this is just a mind experiment):
- "On average, women are less likely to be a developer"
- "On average, women are more likely to encounter negative bias"
- "On average, women are less likely choose software development because of their biological makeup"
In which statements am I "lumping massive groups of population and assigning traits"? Which is not "OK" to say in a memo? For which should I be socially castigated? If the answer to any of these is only 3, I submit that you are simply cherry picking the statement that you don't like as the generalization.