I am so fucking sick and tired of cheaters, hackers, and team killers.

I propose that we ban every fucking 13 year old from the internet. I don't give a shit if you're mature and 13 years old. You should be banned. You are guilty by association, and you're lucky I don't come to your house and fuck you, fuck your mother, and fuck your sister. In fact, I'll fuck your mother and sister at the same time.

I was in such a good mood until these stupid fucks had to ruin it all. From now on, no one gets on the internet until they are 21 and passes a psychological exam. I'll fucking piss down your throat and make you swallow it, you cocksucking pieces of shit.

Motherfuckers.

Yes, I feel better now, so STFU. No comments necessary.

I can't wait until whatever the hell that company calls itself this week finally goes bankrupt. This has got to be the funniest thing I've seen in quite a while:

The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!

Haha! Come ON! Do you really expect me to pay money to see news that's already been posted on another site already? This has GOT to be the worst business model I've ever seen!

Maybe I should make a site that puts up a new link to Slashdot every time Slashdot posts a story. I could make millions!

Hello. I'm the Lord God, your Savior. And I use MasterCard. They don't take American Express or VISA in heaven. And that's priceless.

Just because it's ten pages long, you don't read my journal entries? Okay, I'll just stick to the executive summary from now on.

Holy Shit! Check out the fees for this "pre-approved*" MasterCard:

Account setup: $29 (one-time fee)
Program Fee: $95 (one-time fee)
Annual Fee: $48
Participation Fee: $72 (annual)
Additional Card Fee: $20 (annual)
Credit Increase Fee: $25 (per increase in credit)
Web site access Fee: $4 (unspecified as to whether it's one-time or monthly or what)

Of course, they reserve the right to reject me, even though I've been "pre-approved*".

Ugh. This doesn't look too good. I think I'll just stick to my current credit card.

I'm gonna get almost a grand back from Uncle Sam! I've got a rich uncle that loves me! This makes me feel kind of bad that I waited until 10pm on April 15th to file my taxes (electronically, of course).

I'm really not sure what I'm going to do... there're so many possibilities! Wow, that word looks so wrong. I even went to www.dictionary.com to check it, and that's really how you spell "possibilities". I'm not sure why it looks so very wrong to me. Have you ever felt like something was wrong in some way that you couldn't really put your finger on? It feels so weird. I probably sound like a pothead or something. Oh well.

I'd like to grab some Xeon CPUs off of ebay from my quad Xeon ProLiant. Right now, it's still only got one CPU (400 MHz Xeon) in it. Also, I'd like to get a Parhelia. Heh. I still haven't upgraded my ancient DDR Radeon. I did, however, order a Matrox G450 from Newegg. I plan on putting that in my Tyan Tiger MPX. I think I might want to upgrade from dual 1.2 GHz Athlon MPs to something like an MP 2000 or MP 2400. I dunno. Maybe not.

Argh. So many possible upgrades...

Here's what I've got now:

System #1, the "Wintel" game machine
Generic (but nice) Enlight case
Epox KT133A motherboard
800 MHz Duron
768MB PC133 RAM
20GB Maxtor 5400 RPM hard drive
21" KDS VS21 monitor
32MB DDR Radeon (now called the Radeon 7200, apparently)
Generic Linksys NIC
Turtle Beach Santa Cruz (OEM)
Generic Firewire adapter
Generic TV input card
Lexmark Z53 inkjet printer
Logitech Z560 4.1 speakers
Firewire webcam
Windows XP

System #2, the Linux server
Antec SX1080B case
Tyan Tiger MPX motherboard
Dual 1.2 GHz Athlon MPs (real MPs, not XPs)
512MB DDR PC266 ECC RAM
Tekram DC390U2W SCSI controller (Ultra2 LVD)
36GB Seagate 15K.3 Cheetah (Ultra 320, SCA, in an internal 3.5" hotswap bay)
Four 4.5GB IBM 7200 RPM U2W LVD SCSI drives
40GB Maxtor 7200 RPM EIDE drive (ATA 100)
80GB Maxtor 7200 RPM EIDE drive (ATA 133)
Promise ATA 133 hard drive controller (66 MHz PCI)
SMC 10/100 NIC with two RJ45 ports (66 MHz PCI)
Matrox G450 (when it arrives)
Sound Blaster Live! Value (OEM)
Viewsonic A70 17" monitor
Gentoo

System #3, the Linux experiment
stock Apple Blue & White PowerMac
400 MHz G3 CPU
512MB RAM
Adaptec U2W SCSI controller
Quantum Viking 4.5GB SCSI hard drive
ATI Rage 128
Yellow Lab Linux
OS X 10.1 (not 10.2)

System #4, the OS X machine
stock Apple Blue & White PowerMac
450 MHz G3 CPU
512MB RAM
Adaptec U2W SCSI controller
Quantum Atlas 10K 9.1GB SCSI hard drive
ATI Rage 128
MacOS X 10.1 (not 10.2, as I can't afford that)
Yellow Lab Linux

System #5, the Spare Parts PowerMac Experiment
Apple PowerMac 9500
266 MHz G3 upgrade card
512MB RAM
Combo Firewire/Ultra Wide SCSI card
ATI video card (Rage Pro? I don't know)
Currently, no hard drive
Currently, no OS (I might install OS X and/or PPC Linux on this)

System #6, the old Linux server
Antec SX1080B case (actually a Chieftec case with a retail Antec power supply)
Asus P3C-D motherboard (i820 -- remember that?)
Dual Pentium III 450 MHz CPUs (Katmai, not Coppermine)
256MB RAMBUS RAM
Currently, no hard drive
Currently, no video card
Currently, no OS

System #7, the Quad Xeon
stock Compaq ProLiant 5500
One 400 MHz (512k) Xeon processor, four Xeon processors maximum
Currently, no hard drive (it was removed before I got this system)
Currently, no OS (but I'll install Gentoo Linux on it)

System #8, the Dual PPro
stock Compaq ProLiant 2500
Two Pentium Pro 200 MHz (256k) processors, two processors maximum
Several (four?) SCA 4.5GB UW SCSI hard drives in an SCA backplane
onboard crappy video
Windows NT 4.0 server

System #9, the Multia
stock DEC Multia
166 MHz DEC Alpha CPU (soldered, unfortunately)
128MB ECC RAM
1.2GB external SCSI hard drive
3X external SCSI CDROM
One PCI slot, already being used for the Fast SCSI card (NEC 53C810)

System #10, the testbed
Generic Inwin or Enlight Mid-Tower case
Generic i430VX motherboard (low cost version of the i430TX)
Pentium 233 MMX (I don't think it will accept a K6 or K6-2)
64MB RAM (I think it's SDRAM, but it could be 72 pin EDO)
Adaptec Ultra SCSI controller
Dual 4.5GB IBM 7200 RPM Ultra SCSI hard drives
Generic S3 video card
(this used to be really, really fast back in its day)
SCO OpenServer 5 (haha... don't flame me; it's for work)

I could even dig up more computers, if I REALLY wanted to.

Mostly, here's what I want:

A good 15" or 17" LCD monitor (my eyes are getting very bad... seriously)
A high quality video card for my "Wintel" system (maybe a Parhelia)
An Ultra160 or Ultra320 64 bit SCSI controller for my Tyan Tiger MPX
A small hard drive for my old Linux system (the P3C-D)
A small hard drive for my PowerMac 9500
A small hard drive for my ProLiant 5500
A potential upgrade for my Athlon MPs (not really high priority)
A potential upgrade for my Pentium IIIs (not really high priority)

The MPX can support any Athlon XP or MP, but I don't want to put an XP (modified or otherwise) in it. I only want Athlon MPs. I'm old now and I like doing things by the book. :)

The P3C-D can take any Katmai or Coppermine Pentium III processor. It can not accept Tualatin processors. Yeah, I love Tualatin, too. Too bad, eh? BTW, this is Slot 1 motherboard. I may have my old Asus P2B-D (slot one) around here, too, if I look hard enough. Ahh, i440BX! Those were the days.

I wouldn't mind it if a 1.0 GHz Pentium III fell into my lap. Or maybe two of them. But don't they still cost a fortune? Like over $200? Funk dat.

My P3C-D takes RAMBUS RAM. Don't flame me, please. I've only got 256MB of PC800 RAM in it right now. I guess I could upgrade it to 512MB, but RAMBUS RAM is still a little pricey.

I, uh, sort of broke the plastic arm off of the CPU socket on the Epox motherboard. That means the Duron 800 is wedged in there, permanently... I think. Is it possible to get that CPU out? I'd love to stick a 1.4 GHz Thunderbird processor in there. According to Epox, I can't use the Athlon XP in this board, not even if I flash the BIOS. Funk dat. Epox sucks.

I guess I could just buy a nForce2 board and stick in a Parhelia and XP 1600 or XP 1800 from Newegg. They always run specials on those older CPUs. I bet I could get an nForce2 board for $75 and XP CPU for $50. The RAM would cost at least $50, too. Oh well. That's starting to sound like more money than I'd like to spend, especially when you add the cost of the Parhelia! Fucking Matrox. Why can't they make an inexpensive video card?

I guess I could settle for an ATI or Nvidia card, but once you go Matrox, it's soooo hard to go back to those crappy ATI cards. I don't have a problem with Nvidia, really, but they aren't typically very high quality... just fast. I want something with brilliant visual quality, comparable to a Matrox card. Oh well. Maybe I should just get a damn Radeon 9000 and save my money. I hate ATI.

Oh yeah. I've got some decent speakers. Logitech Z560, those monster speakers that everyone on Newegg was raving about. They're THX rated. I don't really like them that much. There's too much bass, and I always get complaints when I play DVDs or games. Anyone want to buy them from me? I like Creative Labs speakers much better. I think I might downgrade to a $50 set of CL 5.1 speakers. I'm too old to have such loud speakers.

The Viewsonic A70 is my secondary monitor, and it is on a KVM. I use a Microsoft USB keyboard and a generic USB mouse (plugged into the keyboard) to complement the KVM. Basically, every computer but the "Wintel" system is running headless, with no keyboard/mouse. :) I manually plug the USB keyboard into whatever system needs it.

I guess I could buy a new KVM that supports USB keyboards, but... I dunno.

Mainly, I guess I need a new video card and an LCD monitor. My first choice would be the Parhelia and KDS Radius monitor. *sigh* Talk about expensive. There goes the entire $900.

No, really, I'm curious. I thought I was pretty damn witty, but my lack of fans on Slashdot has been a truly crushing blow to my ego. Either that or I just don't care. I forget which.

I bought Everyone vs Bob the Angry Flower, and it arrived on Friday! Yay! It's even signed. I can't imagine anything cooler, other than a sex-starved girl in a Porsche.

Wait. Finding a $20 bill on the ground would probably be just as cool.

Seeing as how the story itself is flame-bait, I figured that I'd keep in the spirit of the article and write an anonymous troll.

In truth, I enjoy using FreeBSD (and have looked over the other BSDs but rejected them outright when I discovered they still couldn't figure out how to write an SMP kernel). FreeBSD is a good operating system if you have the exact same computer as the development team. Otherwise, you're much better off with Linux, for better or worse. My feeling is that Linux needs a lot more of the professionalism and slower development of the BSD teams, yet the BSD teams need a hell of a kick in the ass. What the hell do they do all year? Sit around and drink beer, while jeering at Linux? All I know is that I'm never going to run NetBSD or OpenBSD... not until they start supporting my hardware. Hell, I've been using dual processor machines since the days of the Pentium II! Ugh. Back then, not even FreeBSD supported SMP. I still don't really trust FreeBSD's implementation of SMP, because it's so new and untested.

Well, all that aside, I do like FreeBSD. I just wish that it got updated more than once per decade.

I want to make a user account called Kotter, so that Slashdot says, "Welcome back Kotter" when I sign in.

Maybe you have be 25+ to get that. Or just immature.

Hey, I temporarily made my Linux system unbootable yesterday. I forgot to change the /etc/fstab after I played around with some stuff. It's a good thing that I never screw up too badly; I was able to get in by using the grub command line. It's a wonder that I ever survived without grub. In fact, grub took a bullet for me back in 'Nam. What has Lilo ever done for you? Did it ever drag you to safety, under heavy friendly fire, using its own body as a shield for each landmine that was triggered? No, I think not. Grub is the buddy that you always wanted, always needed, and always had a crush on (in a manly, non-homosexual way, of course). Simply put, grub is everything you wish you were. Grub is what you aspire to be. I love you, grub. No, no, I mean in a manly, non-homosexual way. But if I were a girl, I'd fuck you, grub. I'd fuck you like that hooker in 'Nam. Remember her? I stole her panties. Wanna see me wear them?

First, what the hell is this "journal topic" thing, and how do I get rid of it? I have no topic. I'm just bored.

Second, I'm seriously beginning to question the sanity of Trusty Penfold, Theodore Logan, and Asparagus (seriously, no offense, should any of you happen to read this). It's just that... well... there's no way to easily say this, so I'll be direct: your friends are not very funny. I constantly see them getting moderated up, and, with their friend-of-friend bonus, they often shoot up to +4 or +5. This is totally unacceptable from people who think "yo momma" jokes, beowulf clusters, etc are funny.

Perhaps even worse are the "insightful" people who point out things that even ObviousGuy avoids mentioning. I mean, really, do we need to have YET ANOTHER person point out that spam is bad and Spam Assassin is good? Argh.

Okay, that is all.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm bored. This isn't a normal boredom; no, this is a profound boredom. There's stuff that I could be doing right now, but all that stuff sounds boring, tedious, or potentially frustrating (upgrading PCs, for example).

I hate feeling like this. It's so difficult to get my motivation up to do anything. The worst part is that I end up having too much energy! So I pace around a lot, trying to think of something interesting.

Slashdot won't be around for too much longer. I can tell. The articles are getting worse, the users are becoming more hostile to the site, and trolls are popping up by the dozens in each article.

Let's discuss each of these points individually.

First, I claim the articles are getting worse. To back up my claim, I'll list some recent headlines:

• Music Companies Bemoan New High-Cap Portables - Yet another opportunity for the Slashbots to say that the RIAA sucks and they'd never give money to such an organization. And, yet, we're supposed to believe that they give money to the RIAA whenever they download an MP3 from the net. Mmmhmm. It's just a bitchfest, not a story.
• AMD Opteron Due In April - Ancient news reported elsewhere (and even on Slashdot itself), as pointed out in several highly-modded comments. Unfortunately, the best we can expect out of Slashdot now is product PR. "Product X is now shipping!" And, an "editor" gives Product X the Slashdot thumbs-up, gotta-have-it treatment. What? You don't have a Sony-Ericsson cell phone yet?! Looooser!
• "Killer Flu" Emerging On Both Sides of the Pacific - Uhh, who cares? Yes, this is important news, but it has nothing to do with today's post-9/11 government trying to steal all our rights away from us. And, as everyone knows, that is the true focus of Slashdot.
• Clear Case Roundup - This is what usually passes for Tech news and reviews on Slashdot.
• Making a House That Will Last for Centuries? - Huh?
• Suggestions for Functional Jewelry? - Huh?
• Mandrake 9.0 for AMD 64-bit Technology - More product PR. Blah.

This is just a sampling, of course. If I went through the past 30 days' articles with a critical eye, I could come up with much more damning evidence of Slashdot's suckitude. Yes, that's a word. I just made it up.

My second claim is that users are becoming more hostile to Slashdot. Read any story, and you'll see what I mean. It's not just the trolls who are calling for Michael's resignation. It's not just the trolls who are demanding an end to the parade of dupes. There are a growing number of vocal users who claim they will never pay for a subscription, just on principle. Slashdot should be courting these users, not saying, "Oh well! We're going to remain unprofessional, because we like it that way!" Like the rest of the dotcom crash-n-burn companies, Slashdot will soon find that what works as free service doesn't work as a commercial service. People have higher expectations when you start asking for money.

I forgot what my third claim was, and I'm too lazy to go up and look for it. I'm sure it was very insightful and easy to back up.

In conclusion, I'm bored.

I posted this comment anonymously, because I wanted to see if you really love me. I'm amazed. You do love me, even when I'm anonymous! Wow. That makes me feel special. Although, it makes me sad to think of all that karma going to waste. Oh well.

Maybe I should donate some karma to a troll. It'd be like my good deed of the day or something. I like the irc.goatse.cx troll, personally. I think he's pretty funny, and he's not even really a troll.

p.s. My comments don't usually make it up to 5. Usually they shoot up to 3 or 4, then get modded down. I don't like this thing where you love me more when I'm anonymous. Stop that.

I'm very proud of this post (but read the parent post first.)

I blame society for my more overtly trollish posts. If I had normal parents, like everyone else I knew, then I would be just as paranoid and zealous as Michael or Bruce Perens and tow the party line. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm just bored. Yeah, that must be it.

Please don't hate me. It's society's fault.

Electronic. Behavior. Control. System.
Electronic. Behavior. Control. System.
Electronic. Behavior. Control. System.
Electronic. Behavior. Control. System.
Electronic. Behavior. Control. System.
-EBN, "Electronic Behavior Control System"

Stay tuned for an important announcement!
Entertainment has become a necessity!
-EBN, "Electronic Behavior Control System"

We. Will. We. Will. Rock. You. (spliced from President Bush, Sr's presidential address)
Some may ask... "Why. Rock. Out. Now?" (ditto)
-EBN, "We Will Rock You"

Stronger than never, ever before
KMFDM is a drug against war!
-KMFDM, "A Drug Against War"

Kill everything!
Bomb the living bejeepers out of those forces.
That's not enough!!
-KMFDM, "A Drug Against War"

You never see me, because I'm always alone.
-Ministry, "Scarecrow"

Jesus... had days like this.
-Front Line Assembly, "Mind Phazer"

The laws of nature. The laws of man. This form of paradox will never stand!
-Front Line Assembly, "Plasticity"

Because you're young, dumb, and full of cum.
-Whale, "Young, Dumb, and Full of Cum"

I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said seize the day, pull the trigger,
Drop the blade
And watch the rolling heads
-Soundgarden, "The Day I Tried To Live"

Cupid bought a gun
He's gonna blow the fucker away
-White Zombie, "Electric Head Part 2"

Falling down, I am a psychoholic
Erratic and sure, I cannot fail
-White Zombie, "Blur the Technicolor"

Demon warp is coming alive in 1965.
-White Zombie, "Thunderkiss '65"

Are we not men? We are Devo!
-Devo, inciting riots

Some lyrics that echo in my head when there's nothing else there. Maybe more later. Maybe not.

I tried to go to Amazon today to write a scathing review of Spice World, by the Spice Girls, but I couldn't figure out how to write a fucking review. I finally found the icon, but nothing happened when I clicked on it. I even created an Amazon account specially for this purpose, though I did give my e-mail address as none@example.com. When are people going to start filtering that out? I find that hilarious. Maybe I should start offering lifetime, free e-mail at example.com. Actually, I think I will.

Okay, so I have a Compaq ProLiant quad Xeon workstation, but I'm not sure what I need to upgrade it.

According to the BIOS and my disassembly, here's what I've got currently:

• (1) 400 MHz Xeon (512k cache, I think)
• 128MB RAM (32MB x 4 EDO ECC DIMMs)
• No hard drive
• No video card (using integrated ATI video)
• Unknown SCSI controller (must be an Adaptec Ultra Wide or LVD SCSI)
• Floppy drive, keyboard, mouse, etc

As far as I can tell, I need a couple more 400 MHz Xeon CPUs, a couple VRMs, a shitload more RAM (ugghhh... old, rare memory = expensive), and some SCA hard drives.

However, I'm not sure if I need to buy this stuff directly from Compaq. I don't think I do. However... I'm not sure. Has anyone ever tried putting in a $25 Xeon processor and VRM from ebay? Will they work in a ProLiant? I don't need any proprietary parts from Compaq, do I?

I'm going to run Linux or FreeBSD on this thing. Do I need to take any special precautions? Can Linux/BSD boot from a SCSI RAID controller? So many questions, so few answers...

I'm not used to messing around with Compaq ProLiant servers.

I can't wait until I've maxed this thing out with 16GB RAM and four Pentium III Xeon 550MHz 2MB cache processors. :)