Mom just called me and said Wal-Mart got 15 Wiis today and she was there went to stand in line. She got one, and she's on the way home now to hook it up. I'm hoping it'll connect to her wireless network... her WAP is on the 3rd floor and the bigscreen is in the basement. They may have to move the WAP. I should send this to Nintendo... so they can put it on a commercial where they just read it and then look up at the camera and say, "How you like them apples, Sony?"

If you read this JE, then you know this dude tried to send my package to my gmail address. So today I checked paypal to see what the dealio was. Well the old shipping number is gone and there as new one. This one says it was shipped. I checked the address just in case. The address is:
[real.name]@gmail.com [Real Address]
Atlanta, GA [ZIP]

Close enough I guess.

Is this not the ugliest hotel manager ever? Wow. I've never been to an "Extended Stay" hotel. Of course, I have never bought meth, so...

So I ordered a ZyAIR G-302 PCI Adapter online at PriceGrabber.com. It was like $33 after shipping, which was cheaper than I could find in the stores. I chose a merchant that had several in stock and had a high rating. Judging from the name, he's Chinese and he might not have a firm grasp of how the USPS works. I say this because when I found my shipment of Burning Halo Hot Sauce this morning, I thought it was going to be my card (before I looked at the size of the box and realized it wouldn't fit in there.) So I checked the shipping confirmation and clicked the link to the USPS tracking number the guy's software had generated. It said there was no record of this being shipped. Odd... so I looked further down in the email. I looked at the shipping address and almost died laughing... he tried to send a package to... my gmail address.

So a girl that is friends with a female friend of mine gave me her number before Christmas. We've talked and met for drinks, but nothing "formal". Today she sent me an SMS (Text message) saying she had created a myspace account and wanted me to add her to my friends list. Myspace is blocked from work, so I was going to write back "I'll add u tonight." I use the autospell function, which works well most of the time. Apparently 2-3-3 resolves to "bed" before "add", so it came out, "I'll bed u tonight." That's what I was THINKING, but I didn't want to WRITE that. :-)

I bought the game last night and, as arb pointed out, it DOES have multiplayer. You just have to beat single player first. I don't know why my neighbor thought otherwise, but I imagine it has something to do with him not reading the manual and making an assumption based on the Wiimote with a 1 on it on the back of the box.

So the city I used to work in was Cleveland, TN. I know, most people didn't know that a Cleveland outside Ohio existed. So today one of the guys at work that knows where I used to work asked if I still knew any accountants up there. I said yes and he sent me a link to some job... in Cleveland OH. I don't know how he missed the OH at the end of every address or why it would be TN instead of OH. I mean, I worked there and I still assume OH when I hear Cleveland.

Well my neighbor got WarioWare Smooth Moves for the Wii. I went over and took my Wiimotes and he said, "You apparently assumed it would be multiplayer also..." It's 1 player? Are you kidding me? Who releases a single person Minigame disc? I mean, the point of minigames is that you can play them WITH FRIENDS. Ok, well it turns out that it isn't the end of the world for Wario... we adapted our play style so you were playing 1 game then watching (read: drinking) the next, so it's all cool. We also did "go until you fail" stylie rules on the block stacker. If you haven't played, the block stacker is like the next stage of evolution for tetris. you get blocks (squares, rectangles and TRIANGLES!!!) that all weigh different and have different texture (some are slippery and with the triangles you have slopes to deal with... some are tacky and won't slide fast.) OH and you don't move or turn the blocks... no... your Wiimote controls a little platform that you can move side to side and tilt side to side. You have to catch them on the platform and stack them by moving it. The platform doesn't have sides, and if you drop the pieces, you lose. You have to catch all the block sand hold them up for 3 seconds after the last piece lands. If they fall just as time running out, it's ok, as long as none of them go off the screen before time runs out. That's just 1 game. There are a lot... here's the Nintendo page with a video of some of the games and how to play. HILARIOUS!

Other Wii Stuff:

When you become a PRO (your skill level is > 1000)in Wii Sports Bowling, you get a shiny new ball with stars on it. :-)

Tony Hawk Downhill Jam is harder than the other Tony Hawk games, because if you miss a letter (to spell SKATE) it's not like you're in a room that allows you to swing back by as you do another trick. It's virtually impossible to get them all on the first run because you don't know where they are, you have to do a scouting run first. Meh.

There John, you happy now?

I've mentioned before that my neighbor plays poker for a living. It has not always been his main source of income, but he's always enjoyed gambling. He showed me this video one night after we'd been playing Wii and drinking for a few hours and he asked if he should put it on the net. I said it would be a crime not to share it with the world. It's called The Pissing Video (NSFW) and to set it up, they were just out of college and on a trip to Vegas and had been in the casino drinking most of the night. They were back in their room and trying to find something to bet on. This is what they came up with. It's NSFW not because of nudity (I don't think you can see any "naughty bits".) but because people will come over to see why you are laughing so hard and they might be offended by the subject matter. If you don't like "toilet humor", this will probably offend you greatly. If you don't enjoy watching "drunk logic" at work, it starts out a little slow, but it's still worth the wait.

Our hero has come home from a grueling day at work and noticed the tray on his Wii is pulsing blue light. He valiantly grabs the Wiimote and checks his Wiimail*. He opens the first one just as his roommate walks by.
*Sometimes they just write themselves, folks.

RoomMate: Who's "SiliconJes"?
TL: Nobody. That's SiliconJesus from slashdot, but truncated because I only had 10 characters.
RM: Oh Ok. walks towards exit stage right
TL: (pretending to be offended in an intentionally unconvincing way) How's about you don't read my email over my shoulder, huh?
RM: (nonchalantly, without stopping) How's about you don't display it on a 52" widescreen TV? continue walking and exit stage right

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.

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Mr. TechnoLust's German provided by http://translate.google.com/

Hyphy (Bay Area's answer to Crunk) is making some big moves and shaking some things up. If you aren't in the know, Ghost Ridin' is when the driver gets out of the moving vehicle and dances beside or on top of it to loud hip hop music. I guess someone watched Teen Wolf (where he surfs on top of the van) and didn't have a driver.

Anyway, one of hyphy's up and comers is Mistah F.A.B. and he did this joint called Ghost Ride It [Lyrics] with the music from GhostBusters. In hyphy slang, Ghostbusters are cops. SlashChick and all my Bay Area peeps, read the lyrics and see if you recognize any of the slang.

Look who's drivin' it's Patrick Swayze!

As I mentioned, BoA bought out MBNA and caused me some headaches. So after figuring out I have to log into BoA's site with my MBNA credentials to pay my card, I went to Customer Service and sent a secured message to them and provided my email address as a response. I also provided my Usernames (but not passwords) and asked them if they could combine my accounts. Obviously they are both under my real name with my current address. An idiot could look at the two, drool on himself a little and say, "Duh... geez yeah, doze is da same person's accounts." I received this back. Notice the instruction telling me how to get help. EmPHAsis mine.

Dear TechnoLust,

Thank you for your inquiry dated 1/12/07 regarding Other. We will be happy to assist you.

Because your account security is our highest priority, we are unable to process your request through unsecured e-mail. We are only able to perform account maintenance or discuss confidential information through a secure method of contact, one that requires you to enter an Online ID and Passcode such as Online Banking. These methods of contact allow us to verify that a request is from the account holder and not an unauthorized attempt to change your account.

If you have access to Online Banking, please access your account on Online Banking through our home page at www.bankofamerica.com and go to the Customer Service tab to submit your request.

If you are not currently an Online Banking customer, please visit our home page at www.bankofamerica.com to enroll in this free service today. If you are unable to enroll on our Web site, please contact us at 1.800.933.6262 for enrollment assistance.

If you are outside the US please use the number listed above along with the ATT Direct Access Code. For more details on ATT Direct Access Codes and dialing protocols, please visit: www.usa.att.com/traveler/index.jsp

We value you as a customer and appreciate your business. If we may be of further assistance, please contact us again by e-mail. Thank you for choosing Bank of America.

Sincerely,

Email Jockey That Has No Clue
Bank of America

/me's head asplode!

Ok, for all you Wii gamers playing Zelda and wondering how for you are, here's the website you've been waiting for: http://www.twilight-calculator.us.tt/. Be warned however that it considers 100% complete having done EVERY side quest. So I beat the game and it says I'm only 77% complete.

Everything that ties into your credit record asks for a home phone number. I don't have one. I don't have home phone. I don't need one, I don't want one. I'm sure there are a lot of people like me that have a cell phone and that's it. So why do these forms not allow me to note that the number I'm giving them is my CELL phone so they don't call me?

So I have this MBNA Quantum* credit card that I've had since my 18th birthday. My credit limit is $25,900. I hadn't used it in a while, so they gave my a 0% APR on Balance Transfers for a 18 months. This was during the time I wasn't working, and had racked up some credit card debt. Cool, I transfered some money over there and easily paid the minimum payment every time they sent me an email telling me the payment was due. A few months ago they were bought out by BoA, and I saw that I could see my MBNA card on the BoA page, but I still had to go to the MBNA page to pay it. No problem, I have been paying it that way for years.

Last night I got a phone call from an UNAVAILABLE number. I answered even though I normally don't answer CallerID blocked numbers. It was a lady from MBNA saying that she was calling because I hadn't missed a payment in 10 years and now I'd missed 2 in a row, and was I aware that I hadn't paid them. I told her that I hadn't seen an email and I'm on electronic billing. Apparently they switched me back to regular billing when BoA bought them... and it was in a BoA envelope with the words Statement Enclosed printed on it. Oh, yeah, I got that. I thought it was my BoA monthly statement and since I use online banking ALMOST EVERY DAY, I don't look at the paper statement that is 3 days behind at least. So those got chucked in the trash. Oh yeah, and the little thing on BoA that tells me the balance and when it's due? They removed that about the time they stopped sending me the eBills. So I hadn't had a reminder to pay it in 2 months. Not my fault, but not really theirs either. They DID send a statement, just not the way I had asked to be notified. I told her I would pay it today, and she made a note and thanked me for my time.

Last night I went to MBNANetAccess.com like always and I get a screen that says, "You can [read: have to] now pay your bill at www.bankofamerica.com. If you are already a BoA customer, log in and click ACCOUNTS and your credit card will be listed below your BoA accounts." I went there, logged in, and clicked ACCOUNTS and it's not there. I searched all over... not there. I went to the trash can in my room and saw the thing I thought was a BoA statement and threw away. I opened it up and sho'nuff, it's a bill for my MBNA card. Everything on there says BoA and NOTHING says MBNA. I had to check the card number to make sure it was the right one, since I have a BoA credit card I've had less than a year, but its limit is around $10k. So I STILL have no idea how to pay the damn thing, but I did see something interesting.

It appears that since I missed the payment, they cut my promotional 0% APR off early. No biggie, I only had like 2 months left anyway and my Balance Transfer APR is normally 6.99% Oh wait, what's this? The balance isn't in the Balance Transfers column. They moved it to a column called "Other". Which is at 20.72%!!! Fuck that shit. Ok, well, I don't have quite enough to pay it off, so I'm going to pay $1000 of it and transfer the balance to another card with a lower APR. Hey, maybe I can get a 0% promotional APR so I can hold off paying it off until my raise takes effect. Hey look! I got a pre-approved credit card in the mail today and it says "0% APR on Balance Transfers until January 2008". Sweet! Go to their website.

Here's where the "Enter your Home Phone Number" comes in. It didn't have an asterisk, so I left it blank. It didn't like that. I go and put in my cell number and click submit. While "Please Wait... Processing..." is on the screen another Unavailable call appears. I think it's MBNA calling wondering why I haven't made the payment today, so I answer. It's a computer at the bank I'm applying for a card from, verifying the number works. I didn't have to type anything or say anything or verify anything. It just verified someone answered, read me a short message, and then hung up on me. What if I put in a random working number? So anyway, I'm of course accepted, all I have to do is agree to the terms and put in my credit card number for the Balance Transfer and we're set. (I normally don't mention credit limits or financial information, as I consider it rude if there's no point, but I did in this JE to provide context for this next bit of information.) I read the fine print and notice the Credit Limit they want to give me. $750. Did I leave some 0s off my income? Hit back. No, they're all there. Mistype the SSN? No, it's correct. WTFSoF? They SERIOUSLY think I'm going to carry a card with a 3 digit limit? I can't even pay my FUCKING RENT with that. It's completely useless to me. You went to the trouble to CALL MY CELL PHONE to verify me and you offer me Seven Hundred and Fifty Fucking Dollars?!?!? I make way more than enough in a WEEK to pay it that off! I hit DENY only because there was no "SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS" button.

*They invented Quantum when every Joe Schmo started getting Platinum** cards. I've heard these cards can have a limit up to $250,000. Who needs a quarter million dollar credit limit?!?!?
**Platinum cards were of course invented when everyone started getting Gold*** Cards.
***Gold cards were invented to make people feel special when everyone started getting credit cards.

Ok, well I know some of you are playing it so I don't want to spoil anything. Umm... the ending is cool. Midna is hott after you break the curse on her. Zelda's like the innocent looking blonde girl next door, and Minda is like the sultry brunette down the street. When she changes, Link (or whatever you named him) is staring at her and she says, "Am I so beautiful that you have no more words?" It's not that, he was just thinking "I have 2 princesses now... THREESOME!"

Ok, so people keep asking how far along they are. I will write a little outline of the quests, but I'll be vague so I don't give away anything.

Find 10 things 4 times.
Find 3 things, but each takes a while.
Find 1 thing.
Solve a puzzle to help Illia.
Find 3 things, but each involves researching how to get where you're going.
Find 2 things, so you can go find Zant.
Battle Zant, discover hidden truth to all this.
Rescue Zelda.
Final Battle. (If you have Great Angel Tears, I'd save them until here. They work WONDERS here.

If anyone has any game related questions, post below. If it contains spoilers, please put ***SPOILERS*** in the subject.