FTFY

A world of fixed speed bikes and chai lattes, bro.

I definitely agree; there is some sacrifice involving kids, and we are most certainly an exception to the norm: we both come from small families who live nearby, with both of our parents giving us the "procreate us some grandkids" speech, and even more luckily both set of parents are in good health.

I think a lot of it has to do with perspective; I grew up in a single-parent household, and my dad struggled to make ends meet.. he couldn't be around all the time, and despite extended family having to help raise myself and my brother, I don't think we ever questioned his devotion to our upbringing even if it meant being a latch-key kid for several years.

With that childhood behind me, I would want my kids to grow up more comfortably than I did *not spoiled - there's a fine line for sure*, and I would hope that either though extended family/a professional nanny, staggered working hours, or the like we'd be able to successfully rear children who were intelligent, of sound mind, and better yet - have ample opportunities that I missed as a lower-class kid.

Not to mention, I've seen several couples who do the "stay at home" thing and their kids become spoiled brats, or mini-antichrists well from the single digits into teens - (Not quite old enough to see how they fare as adults, but I can place bets it doesn't end well.) I think a lot of being a good parent has less to do with parental working hours, and more to do with the level of dedication, care, and love that ensures a positive childhood (sounds completely cheesy, but I'm a firm believer) :)

Mod parent up. No good job will ever be MORE distracting than the home; therefore telecommuting should be treated like a "good" workplace and the wife and kids should respect your office hours.

While I think you are correct that *typically* men choose career fields with higher salaries, that doesn't mean that the sig other should feel obligated to sacrifice their job. For instance, I have a job offer standing (for after graduation in May) that pays 20% more than my sig other's current job, and he's been working in his career for 5 years (he's mech engineering, I'm info sec). Although we are a few years away from having kids, I would never ask him to step down from his job, and I would INSTA-divorce if he asked me to do the same - we are both in our ideal field of work.

Planning ahead, we know we wouldn't feel comfortable having our kid in child-care, nor would we trust some rando-teenager to take care of our kids.. but we have retired parents, a friend who is a professional nanny, and other resources we could research to make sure our kid grew up stable without forcing this concept of "stay-at-home" parenting.

I think it's a bit unfair, regardless of gender, to rationalize the non bread-winning partner having to make that kind of decision, unless full-time parenting is something they wholeheartedly WANT to do.

Your post made my day. Now I'm hoping the remaining 4% of slashdotters that chose 10+ pairs of different varieties are on Team Pink with me :D

I like your thinking sir...

Wow.. that protective order is chock full of lawyer and woman trickery... He has to post that paragraph of BS on his facebook wall EVERY DAY for 30 days?! That right there is the signature of a SERIOUSLY vindictive woman. I'm not even sure vindictive is a strong enough word.

I kind of have to disagree here. Although my mom got custody in my parent's divorce; she managed to fuck up parenting by way of drug use and petty larceny, and one court date later my dad was offered custody. Mind you, this was in Texas too, where maternal custody is (or at least in the 80s/90s, was) favored in divorce/visitation issues. I agree that courts typically favor women to the point of being unfair, but the justice system tends to take child endangerment at varying levels of severity pretty seriously.