Yea, I might be getting a kitten. My friend works at a vet clinic and they need a home for a cat that just got done with surgery. See, most people don't want a cute cuddly cat with a physical defect, but dogs get snatched up in a heartbeat if they do.

So I'm getting a 3-legged kitty.

Any ideas on names?

And how to house train a cat... I've always benefited from being around my sisters who had cats and they would take care of all that dirty work like pee abatement and such and I just reap the cuddly benefits of a purring ball of claws and teeth.

Days have been up and down. I guess it was a dream that I had last night that really triggered today's mood swing.

I want to go home, to that home that I find in his arms, with my head buried in his chest.

This is hard, the ups and downs. Feeling that all is right in the world and then yearning for things aren't in this moment.

Saturday I see him again, to sign over the lease. We've been putting it off for two weeks, due to his work getting in the way. I hope that I can hold it together, as I cried as I signed my new lease, and the girl was helpful and went through it quickly, where to sign, where to initial, put the date here and here. 2/10/2007

I think that he's planning to move away after this current lease is up in June, and I really wish that he'd take me with him.

But if he doesn't want to work on the relationship then I know that I deserve to be with someone who does. It just reminds me of a card he wrote me. One of the few cards he wrote. Paraphrasing what he said... that he appreciated all the effort that I put into the relationship and that he knows that we'll work through things and take our relationship to new heights.

I contemplate putting that card into the bag of things that I'm returning to him Saturday. Things that I found of his while unpacking. I know I shouldn't and I'm not going to put the card in the bag. But I have this wishful daydream that if I did, if he read it that he would remember, and turn and fight for us and be willing to make things work rather than running away when things get hard.

I'm such an idiot. I was fine and chipper on Wednesday. Things were good my head was in that win/win space and I thought that everything was good in the universe. Then Thursday, with the high level of stress this week from: breaking up, moving, getting the new place clean for a housewarming my friend is having for me Saturday, contract deadlines at work & making and shipping promo shirts for my side biz. Ya, I'm a bit frazzled. I've messed up my new apartment number a dozen times, transposing numbers. Asking the apartment office lady why my mail key doesn't work...evidently I tried it on the wrong number, mine was 3 down. And when I was switching the electric, I messed up the street number, luckily it turned up an error in their system and I got it fixed to the correct one.

So ya, Thursday I was supposed to meet up to change the name on the lease for the old apartment, but he was stuck at work and had to postpone. So like the little misguided caretaker that I am, I made up the excuse that I was heading over there anyways to pick up a package so I'd take out th edog to pee. Yes I had a package there (it could have waited another day easily) and yes he was appreciative as he ended up eating dinner at work to finish up the project by the deadline.

But fuck, why do I have to be so overly helpful and do things that others should be doing themselves. He choose not to have me as a partner right now, so he shouldn't have the benefit of me there to watch his back and help out.

So ya, I got all emotional as I walked into the apartment to get the dog and put the mail on the table. Thursday was the first time I had cried since Sunday. I thought I was doing pretty well. I guess the emotional roller coaster is to be expected in this case.

I just wish that this limbo was over. Because I feel like I'm not really in a relationship, but I'm not really out of one either. Blah.

Sorry to all the nay-sayers, but I pretty confident now that multiply isn't going away. I already find myself going to that page before slashdot. I'd suggest picking it up, just so you have an ID there and are associated with it in case we don't come back.

Here's me as a starting person to be joined to. Make sure you give me you /. id when you join, though.

FYI - I've requested to the site a way to grab /. historical journal entries, and they are considering it (they already have this feature for blogger, blogspot, etc...). I'd also like to see cross-posting for those too stubborn to leave...

Yep. Like everyone else didn't see that one coming.

So we're playing it by ear; taking some time and space apart to grow and see where life leads.

There alot of tears on both parts, but it will be the best for both of us in the long run. Either building a stronger relationship between us in the future or stronger individuals due to this learning experience. So it's a win-win. A hard thing to wrap my head around at times, but under it all I know it's the right thing for this moment.

So I'll be focusing on starting up my new side business and re-learning how to rollerskate.

After serious consideration, I'm probably going to move to multiply, myself. My id was created a couple days ago (same ID as here), but I think I'll actually move journals over to it.

Most people that aren't on ask "what's so sexy about it"? The answer is it does everything we do here, plus a lot more (pictures, music, etc... but not terrible like myspace). The things its missing? The front page.
Now most people feel like there will be no more growth in the /. circle, which I feel is incorrect. The growth will be probably the same, but the reason will be different.
Right now, growth comes from a new slashdot id that stumbles onto us. We have lots in common, cause, most likely, the new person is a geek like the rest of us.
In Multiply, the new friends will come from other friends friends (follow that?). Basically, I'll become a friend of one of blinder's friends. Since blinder and I have a lot in common, his friend will, most likely, be compatable with me, also, so then the circle grows. Its just as open ended as the growth we have here, even more so, especially in the beginning.

I'd suggest everyone getting an ID, and start friending everyone up. I'd also suggest setting up your messages to only get the 'daily' email, not new emails for every little thing (as that is annoying as hell). Maybe do a weekly thing, who knows. Anyway, I'll still be around here, but probably not many more journals (especially since my journals have fallen off)...
Oh, and its easy to keep in touch with those that DON'T move there, as you can setup an RFF feed for your friends' journals here...

I got another ass kicking last night. Did legs and partially back. The leg squats really kciked my ass (on the hammer-strength machine, 3 sets of 12 forward, and 3 sets backward). Calves and hammys I did well on (especially calves). Then we started on my back. While working on my lats, I started getting light headed... stomach started to ache. I had to constantly take breaks. The PT asked what was wrong, and I told him the light headedness. He asked when I last ate (this was at 5pm), I told him lunch at 11:30. That's when he said "Don't move, I'll be right back"... within a minute, I was on the floor barely concious. Another PT was keeping me awake until my guy returns with a shake. I was seconds away from passing out. So a lesson to learn, here:
Always have a snack before going to the gym! (Yes indeedy! I'm a stupid idiot!)

Anywho, the bicep sprain wasn't a sprain or a strain, just a really sore muscle. We worked it out and its fine today. I must be favoring the right side too much when working on my arms...

Yesterday I went in and told the PT that initially put me on a workout that I want to ramp it up. He asked if I want to get 'big'.
Sure.
Ok then...

And then... he proceeded to fully kick my scrawny little ass. Spent an hour just on biceps, chest, and abs (lots of 'hammer strength' machines, which are machines with freeweights on it that NFL/pro athletes use, then lots of freewieghts. The only 'simple machines' we used was for me to work on my biceps one at a time). I was in agony. He set goals on what I was to do. Then he told me to lay off all the cardio. I do 30 minute cardio on Sun, Tues, Weds when I'm lifting, and 60 on MWF when I'm not. I'm supposed to do 60 minutes a week, and that's it. Plus the way he's working me out, I may not be ready to go at a muscle group after 45, so I'm supposed to work out a muscle group until I fail (then I know I've worked it to the max), and pick another muscle group the next day.
Monday we work on quads, hammys, calves, and tris. The triceps should be the only ones that give me a ton of trouble, as I used to run track in high school, and still have pretty large legs...

I've been good about going to the gym (except for when I was sick). I lift on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursday, then spend M-W-F on cardio (I still do cardio on the days I lift, just not as much). I leave work at 4:30 and avoid the rush at the gym (though its starting to taper now that people are quitting their New Years resolutions). I'm finding it difficult to keep my heart in the cardio zone on the treadmill. I have to actually work to keep my heart pumping for 45-60 minutes a day. Holy hell, I'm actually somewhat in shape! I actually requested to take the whole family out grocery shopping right after my workout, cause I had trouble settling down and relax. I ended up wearing everyone else out, but I still had energy to burn...
I don't LOOK any stronger, but I definitely FEEL it. My abs are starting to show, much to the wife's delight (though I think she's waiting for my biceps to increase in size), which I haven't had since early college. Unfortunately, seeing them come through, I've been overworking them a bit...
When I ran track back in college, I always had issues with my calves. They used to call me popeye on track, because my calves were always larger than my quads/thighs. At night, I'd always wake up multiple times cause of muscle cramps in my calves... I'd spend a good 15 minutes working out the cramp to get back to bed. Last night I actually work up with muscles cramps in my abs. Talk about uncomfortable.

Anywho, I'm still on it and starting to feel the effects. When I have washboard abs, a descent chest and some guns, I'll post pics ;)

Wow I haven't written in a while. Well, I've stayed away form writing of the sucky. So I'll write about awesomeness. Being my current idea of a small business. DerbyOrDie.com I registered it today and I plan on using the screen printing kit I just bought to make up some cool derby related t-shirts and some fan shirts for my sisters. Yep, I've got 2 sisters that are roller girls and they convinced me to buy some skates to try it out because they love it so much. SO my skates came in the mail today and I can't wait to try them out this weekend on actual roadway not just the carpet at home. As my outdoor wheels will be coming tomorrow or Friday.

So, with the big western division play offs coming up next month I'm hoping to get a bunch of shirts made up, a basic website up and some business cards printed and send them along with my sister to dole out to promote the site.

So, fingers crossed this idea will pan out and I'll keep up momentum and and stick with this idea.

Damn I just burnt the grilled cheese being distracted writing this. On to cooking dinner.

Last weekend, when I was watching TV, Jenna walks into the room, sees the tube and yells "FOOTBALL GAME!"

Today, I was explaining to my wife how I've waited for today's games, and I intend on lounging and watching both of them, when Jenna walks in. "Want to watch football with daddy, today?" "Mmkay!"
She held my hand to lead her to the TV. Had to convince her to go get her favorite shoes to distract her...

So... I'm raising a tomboy, which is fine by me. Either that or she is ugly for the next 16 years. I don't want to have to deal with boys when she gets old enough. I simply don't have enough guns to clean...

... is Mike Tomlin??
I'm reserved about this. Its still considered 'gossip' as no team officials have come forward (including anonymous officials via ESPN). Regardless, the choice has me a little concerned. Tomlin is a big believer in the Tampa-2 coverage scheme. I don't see this working in the AFC north. Funny thing, though, is that the Tampa-2, as Dungy is willing to admit, comes from the defensive scheme of the old 70s Steelers "Steel Curtain" defense. If you have a good enough front for (including 2 HOF'ers), you can put the rest into coverage, and the LBs (including 2 HOF'ers) can handle the run if they do get past the front four...

Regardless, I'm not a big believer in the cover-2, as its suppose to compliment a high powered offense, which the Steelers aren't. Regardless, either big changes are coming, or Tomlin will change his philosophy to be more in line with the Steelers.

Still surprised Grimm didn't get the job, to be honest. Not saying that he's a better candidate (the Rooney's know how to pick coaches!), just seemed like he was a Pittsburgh guy and ready for the job...

Want to go to Chotchkie's? Get some coffee? I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it.

Yesterday, my clever son figured out how to fake an illness to get out of preschool. Suffice to say, when I heard the news, I was livid. But the teacher emailed my wife asking her how Joey was and told her there were other concerns with Joey.

As a parent, the last thing you want is for your kid to be different... for your child to have to bear a burden 'normal kids' don't have to. I knew the problem. I've known the problem but ignored it hoping it wouldn't come around or no one would notice and he'd just be a little different, without a diagnosis or word associated with it.

We got another email today. This time with specific concerns (emphasis mine):
Joey really has a difficult time following directions at school. He has his own agenda and needs directions repeated 2 to 5 times. Even with the daily routine of taking off his coat and hanging up his backpack - he needs one on one adult supervision to complete the task. He has a difficult time sitting for any group activity and blurts out off topic comments. He also has trouble transitioning from one activity to another. He demonstrates limited eye contact, is easily distracted and is restless. He has a difficult time waiting his turn. He also places classroom materials and toys in his mouth[...] He is not able to sit in a chair without moving - he sits on his foot, on the edge of the chair, etc.

My son is in a special program. Its a preschool program run by the school district for children with minor disabilities like speech problems. They also add in a few 'normal' kids to be 'models' for the other children. Joey came in as one of these models. Probably will finish as one of the kids needing some extra attention. This is actually a good thing. They have about four dozen different types of therapists that help with everything. Joey had a phase where he stuck everything (mostly his thumb and shirt) in his mouth. They worked on it, and he doesn't do it nearly as much (still his thumb, but I was a thumb sucker for years... at least my mother says I was). The teacher also included different techniques she is using to help him with the issues, but I already know whats wrong with him. Just like I said before. The emphasis was what stuck out like a sore thumb to me.

My son has ADD. Why do I know? Cause his Dad does, too. He just learned it when he was in college...

So now comes the part where the teacher will meet with us tomorrow afternoon, will express the concerns, will suggest we take him to a shrink. The shrink will do the ever fun six hour test on Joey to find out he has a minor form of ADD, and I've got to feed the poor kid brain pills for the rest of his life.
I think I'm going to try and opt for a non-drug solution if I can. Maybe occupational therapy or something...
I guess I'm kind of overreacting to all of this, since I haven't gotten a diagnosis, but from someone who has it and studied it... it sure seems like a honest to goodness case for ADD.

So my predictions got screwed up. Although, I have to admit, the only one I was wrong about was the Bears getting upset.
The seahawks beat Dallas cause of the fumbled snap, and SD lost, NE didn't win (damn does Brady inject ice in his blood for the 2 minute drill?!?).
Anywho, I'll have to redo picks since my fav is already out...

NE at Indy: Again, I'm going against the rest of the world, much like I did when I predicted Indy would beat KC. I think this will be a close game, but the 2 minute drill Tom Brady will run will be about tying the game, instead of winning it. Peyton Manning gets that decade monkey off his back and gets into the bowl he's been waiting for... Predicition: Indy

NO at Bears: While the Bears defense turned from that poor defense back to that sturdy defense throughout last week, they won't have to worry much. NO's biggest issue? The ultra slow secondary. They give up too many big plays. If they try to prevent Rex from throwing those perfectly timed bombs with a cover-2 or 3 or 4, it just opens up the Bears running game. Can the NO line handle the bears offensive line? Can the NO LBs handle the 'never stops trying' attitude of the up and coming Cedric Benson? If they can, Rex simply will throw overtop of Fred Thomas. While the NO offense will do a good job and keeping up in the points category, I defense is what wins championships, and just ask Seattle what big plays can do for you in big games...Prediction: Bears

Superbowl: Indy vs Chicago: Defense wins championships, the Bears defense, normally stout, looks a bit weak, and the Indy defense, normally horrid against the run, looks solid. The Indy defense also uses quick linemen to pressure the QB, and Rex under pressure is what causes all the turnovers he's been plagued with. A fun superbowl, but Peyton finally gets his. Prediction: Indy

All in all, this is the most exciting post season I've watched in a while. Mainly due to the fact that I have no favorite teams playing in it...