My daughter was asking about the signature machines years ago. As an example I drew a whale for my signature. She was amazed and asked me do signature-draw stuff on other occasions. Years later, it has evolved into me asking "Whale or ice cream cone?" anytime I buy something with her.

Amen, and I'll do you one better ... former Playmates who now hock e-cigarettes. Seems like she must have my best interests at heart!

You beat me to it. That's 'forced' just poked me in the eye when I read the summary.

Yep -- had a 'born again' high-school classmate who posted that on facebook, saying something to the effect of "If this isn't proof, I don't know what is."

I try to stay out of religious conversations on FB, but I did feel the need to post "1. That's Photoshopped. 2. It's not showing what you think it is showing. 3. you may want to research the inspiration for that photo, though I take no responsibility for what you find."

"What is 'The wrong gameshow host'".

  -- correct --

"Thanks Pat. I'll take Minor mistakes that get trolled on slashdot for $300."

I'm usually an Ed Norton fan, but nothing was lost IMHO.

No, you're one of the lucky ones. Vaccination actually CAUSES bear maulings. I have a list of everyone who has been mauled by a bear in the last 20 years. ALL OF THEM HAD BEEN VACCINATED. What more do you need, people?

*Of course I jest. But would love to actually have this list and the corresponding vaccination data.

I've had to reboot the f*cking thing because it occasionally locks up. No thank you, smart t.v. Please remain a dumb box in which I plug in other poorly designed crap.

Exactly. Worst case scenario -- it's still effed up after you tried to fix it. Nothing is lost, and you more than likely learned something.

Only problem is the filter eventually wears off.

My mom wanted to get into their Morningstar account and didn't have the password. I called and explained the situation -- basically that her husband was deceased and she needed the password, and I said I'd call on her behalf. What steps do I need to take to get it? The rest of the conversation:

Operator: "What's the username he has the account under?"
Me: "Uh, billsmith2222 is the username."
Operator: "OK, let's see... looks like the password is Sarajane. The 'S' is uppercase."
Me: -- Stunned silence --- "Thanks?"

I was glad it went so quick, as I had expected to have to send a death cert and jump through god knows what other hoops, but it freaked me out how casually they gave it to me. I mean, I didn't do anything to verify that I was even any relation to the account. All I had was the username. Obviously someone was new, disgruntled, or just plain stupid, but it worked in my favor for once.

Reminded me of : "There are no more elephants. There is also no more unethical treatment of elephants." Flight of the Conchords

Well played, sir.