alcoprog n. Any program written while drunk.
anal resentive adj. Of a person, characterized by envy of another's easygoing or flexible nature.
antisoftware n. Software
written so as to restrict or harm its user, rather
than to empower or assist him or her. The proper
function of software is to work for its
user: a word processor enables the editing of
documents; a database enables the structured storage
of facts; a chat or email system enables
communication.
Classes of programs which restrict
or harm the user -- in other words, to do the
opposite of what is expected from software --
include Digital Rights Denial, spyware, Trojan
horses, and "license managers". Much antisoftware
can be identified by the user being compelled to
run it, or held in ignorance of its running --
s/he would not run it by informed willing choice.
contrabland n.
Bootleg recordings of "easy listening" music.
crack pipe n. Any
network segment used chiefly for the delivery of
attacks and/or DDoS packets. Also, the foremost
shell tool used in rootkits, as:
./pr0tscan.pl | ./chk_vuln | xargs ./crack_host
immanagerial adj. Of
an organizational superior or supervisor,
immaterial. An immanagerial person is one who has
managerial authority, but does no actual managing
either positive (being a Good Boss) or negative
(being a PHB).
improperty n.
(Of old, synonymous with impropriety.)
Property which isn't: that which is legally
obtained not by trade or labor, but by enclosure
or government monopoly. Examples of improperty
include "taxes" on blank CD media collected by
music cartels, airspace seized from property
owners by factory operators for use in waste
disposal, and most if not all forms of
thought monopoly (q.v.)
nucular adj.
Misunderstood, in the manner of the effects of a
weapon or the risk of a power plant. The former
tend to be underestimated, the latter overestimated.
obsoloot adj.
Not new enough to have counted towards the
speaker's current quarterly sales figures.
"Buy a new operating system from me! Your old
one's obsoloot!" Also obsoloser:
one who complains about not having the latest kit.
planguage n. Any of
the popular scripting languages, such as
Perl, Python,
PHP, or Pruby.
scientoloquy n. Any jargon whose terms are extensively and verbosely defined, yet entirely meaningless or nonoperational. "He buttonholed me for half an hour with scientoloquy about 'XML post-relational databases'."
secret source n. The
opposite of "open source". To be preferred over
"closed source" because it points out that a chief
purpose of withholding source code is to withhold
ugly secrets from one's customers.
Ugly secrets in the past have included antisoftware elements,
design flaws, intentional backdoors, and acts
of sabotage against competing products. Analogy
to "secret sauce" is intended -- holding the
source secret mystifies it, as if it were something
besides plain ketchup and mayonnaise.
security by wtf 1z th4t b0x0r?
A security tactic which involves running the same
possibly-insecure software everyone else has, but
on an obscure or less-popular architecture. The
ready availability of exploits and rootkits coded
for Linux/x86 and Solaris/SPARC does not lead to
the availability of similar attack tools for
Linux for PowerPC or ARM.
stubculture n. A group
or affiliation standing in for a subculture. Like
a stub procedure, a stubculture is empty of actual
function. It is to be replaced with an actual
subculture as soon as one becomes available.
suximetry n. The science implemented by devices such as the
Sucks-Rules-O-Meter.
terrorist terrorist n. One who inflicts upon others the fear of terrorists; e.g. Tom Ridge.
thought monopoly n. A
government-granted monopoly over the development
and use of a set of thoughts. Examples include
patents, as well as those aspects of copyright
which restrict the development of derivative
creative works. (The restriction of plagiarism
is not thought monopoly, but rather fraud
prevention. Restriction of verbatim
duplication is arguably also not thought monopoly,
as copying is not creative.) Trademark
law creates thought monopolies only insofar as it
is used to censor public thinking about the
trademarked brand (e.g. parody and criticism),
and not insofar as it is used to prevent fraud.
yibe excl. An expression of shockless dismay; contrast yipe.
Zork management n. A maze of twisty little meetings, all alike.