Shredder!

I got a shredder. Not the armor clad ninja guy who was always trying to mess up the teenage mutant ninja turtles, but the kind that takes a single sheet of paper, and turns into a big mess. I'm not super paranoid about stuff in general, but credit card companies and banks send to send you enough paper each month that it could have been used to print several Tom Clancy novels (I'm not sure that would be better mind you). THe irritating part is that my account information is printed all over these things like a big arrow saying "ROB ROB". So I opted to get the "Confetti-Shred" so as to insure maximum security when I destroy these things. The irony is that once I purchased this beast, I immediately sat down and shreaded a stockpile of the last few months of sensitive material. Now each morning, as I tear off my Far-Side-of-the-Day and my Dave-Barry-Of-The-Day calanders, I immediately can shred the previous days comedy. If someone is rummaging through my trash they don't deserve to laugh.