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Slashdot LinuxWorld Awards 119

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the and-the-award-goes-to dept.
You've been waiting all week for the most hotly contested Slashdot/LinuxWorld Awards (which we created this morning while nate was in the shower). The nominees were submitted by anyone who happened to pass our booth this morning, and the winners were selected by our impartial (cough) judges. Hit the link to see what you missed at LWCE.

Best Towering Rotating Monolithic Corporate Logo

Compaq

It looms ominously over the ghetto here at LinuxWorld, obscuring the flourescent lights and casting a gentle breeze on those of us back in the corner on the show.

Best Schwag

Sendmail

The little knives that they've been handing out aren't as cool as the Leatherman Wave, but they can be handy when the suits come to try to get you to move to their ISPs.

Best Hive Mentality Fashion Sense

IBM

With their fancy little blue shirts and black pants, they perform with synchronicity that would make the borg jealous.

Best Futile Attempt to Capture the Alternative Feel of Linux with Cheesy Logo

Extreme Linux

Snowboarding Penguins? Wow.

Open Source Leader with Most Phunk

Eric S. Raymond

Believe it or not, he actually has rhythm. And he can play a mean flute.

Foxiest Booth Fluff

Slashdot

The black minidress, and Adrienne Lane (hemos' girlfriend, lucky bastard) inside of it sold more t-shirts then the combined personality of Hemos and CmdrTaco.

Highest Density EMF in a Booth

Debian

I think they've got 38 computers, an empeg, and more geeks than I thought possible in a 10x10 space. Next show they'll have to build shelves and stack them.

Best use of Vinyl in Apparel

Joseph Arruda from VA

How can we say anything more than just wow

Sugar Distribution Award

Rick Highness

The webmaster of Greasy Spoon brought us snickers, reeses peanut butter cups, kool-aid, sugar, and basically anything else that could conceivably power us through the crowds.

Most Persistant Marketeers

Abisource

That damn ant. Its everywhere. It haunts my dreams. It appeared at parties. It got more action than I did last night.

Most Desirable IDG Employee

Kristin "Trixie" DeAngelis

It was a close race between her and Charlie Greco, but she inched ahead when rumors of her tatoos left certain Slashdot Team members with spittle hanging.

Best Multi Bitchin' Recreational Facilities

The Free Software Foundation

They got foosball, they got pool, and they got RMS. How can you argue with that? Maybe next year they'll have kiddie swimming pool and swimmies.

Distributed Use of Painful Color

Computer Associates

CA has provided the whole floor with schwag bags that were such a blinding shade of yellow that everyone will need to update their optical prescriptions. Ya know how your mom told you not to stare directly at the sun?

Goon Squad Award

LWCE Security

The friendly security guards who refused to let me in to get my laptop on tuesday, tried to keep me out because I had a press badge and not an exhibit badge, and even are rumored to have prevented Linus from getting in to the exhibit hall without a badge. They forced Slackware to turn off their lights for using 100 watts of bootlegged juice to run their light bulb. We don't even want to know what they did to that guy who tried to wheel in his own freight without paying $800 to have a professional do it for him. And they even tried to ban IP masqing.

Company that Bribes Slashdot with the Coolest Hardware

Undecided

We still don't have a winner in this competitive catagory. So far people have threatened Cobalt Qubes, a Netwinder, Palm V's, Quad Processing Xeon's (yeah right) and at last count, 213 different blue suited representatives from IBM offering Netfinititys- but not a seriously coveted Thinkpad. So far, the winner is the pixar guys who brought me a sweet Prequel t-shirt, and the runner up is Linux Mall who gave us a big stuffed penguin, so there is still time to win this prestigious award!

I just wanna thank all the folks that helped get us down here. The LinuxWorld people got us a booth, and Red Hat hooked us up to bandwidth so we could actually post stories (guess they didn't want their portal to be boring when they announced it) and Linux-HW who hooked us up with airfare and paid our hotel for our stay in the valley.

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Slashdot LinuxWorld Awards

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  • by ccg (34)
    AbiSource: I think you mean www.abisource.com [abisource.com] not www.abisource.org.

    ccg

    chad @ glendenin . org

  • by ccg (34)
    There are some (lots of) photos on the abisource.com [abisource.com] page. Hehe, I WANT that big-ass penguin! That thing is hilarious.

    ccg

    chad @ glendenin . org

  • Yow! What is that other guy in the picture drinking? RedEye? ;)
  • Portable power, that's what counts!

    ---

  • Great! (Assuming there will still be a civilization then :).

    I really need to join the DCLUG...when's the next meeting?

  • Take the 7000, 4 processor, 100 gig raid 5, 2 gig RAM. Don't forget the tape drive. That'll make /. hom.


  • where are the pics of these "booth babes"? :-)
  • I can't seem to get more than 300 bytes/sec. :(
  • Yeah. So-so lighting, VERY bad camera angle and pose. And it's not even definite that this is the girl Rob and Hemos are talking about - Just someone's guess.
  • Didn't the Ghost of Commodore offer to set up a Beowulf cluster, with a room full of C-64s?

    [Obligatory "First Beowulf Post"; forgive me]

    --

  • by jabbo (860)
    What kind of an idiot WOULDN'T recognize Linus at this point? Granted, I saw him at USENIX do it wasn't real tough to figure out (lessee, the Finnish guy with the glasses is Linus, the Chinese fellow must be Ted T'so), but since then there have been pictures, magazine covers, everything.

    Hell, I'll put my picture from USENIX up on the Web. Maybe some of the neat academic people I talked to (like the NCSU guy who told me how to link Kerberos 5 into AFS/DFS) will see them.

    Anyways, look for a modest, Scandinavian guy with a little bit of belly bulge and glasses. If security hassles him, RIOT. Simple eh?

    ;-)

    Seriously, his BOF at USENIX was quite cool. And he got a chance to personally slam SCO when they asked him about Linux emulation ("yeah, I hear SCO has been working on UNIX emulation for years now") which I never REALLY appreciated until I worked with SCO systems (OpenServer and UnixWare7). Those guys suck. And Skunkware is always broken.

    Gawd, I should get back to work.

  • Yeah, it seems a little strange to me that geeks with access to all the porn and supermodel pictures their modems and T1 lines can carry get so worked up over candid shots of clothed women. I guess that's raging hormones for ya...
  • We've had our T1 completely saturated most of the entire day, so things are a bit slow both ways.
  • I'm just using my G/F a reference. Her and her friends are quite attractive (read: "drop dead gorgeous").

    That said, the gal in the picture wasn't ugly by any stretch, just not as attractive as Rob & Hemos are making them out to be (and this could be in part due to the camera and lighting).

  • Contrary to what that moron above said, she's quite pretty. The photo and lighting aren't great, so it's hard to say what she's like in person, but she definately is above average.

  • If you do, you'll sound like a jackass. Even though he doesn't.

    Don't be dumpin on somebody's cutie-pie.
  • Hasn't this happened before? I seem to remember hearing about this at the first ALS or something... Anyway it's not too suprising, I mean how many Slashdot readers would recognize Linus on site, let alone security people. As for banning masqurading, that's funny.

  • I noticed at E3 that the companies that had games that weren't that good compensated by hiring models to demonstrate them. One of them (this was several years ago, back in LA) had these blonde girls in lycra shorts and baseball caps, one by every machine, and they would teach you about the game. THAT, somehow, makes me feel dirty.

    They were very hot, though.

  • Does anyone get a creepy feeling of lost innoncence from this story? I feel dirty.
  • by RevRa (1728)
    Rob & Co.,
    Can we be expecting to see some photographs of the things you describe? How about some of the SlashDot booth etc? One of you geeks *must* have a digital camera? ;-)

    -Randy
  • Could I have the Netfinity, if you don't mind? :op
  • 'nuf said

    Nice smile [abisource.com]
  • I'm married

    'nuf said :)
  • That would be pretty fscking funny.

    Especially because of the point you make.. :)
  • that I couldn't be there. :(

    Any one with unwanted linuxworld "booty", please
    send it my way, so I can at least "imagine" that
    I had a piece of the fun.
  • I want pictures.....
  • Nope.

    Why should there be fear? Geeks have been going to shows like this for years. The standard action is to cruise the booths, getting swag and ogling the tech (and techs), gathering a bunch of lit, and then making the real decisions based on the merits of the products.

    Professional techs don't often make decisions based on the beauty of the booth denizens, because after the booths are gone and hardware is shipped, the tech is the one that going to have to support it.
  • Women like to see attractive sales guys, too. But in an industry like ours, I doubt the vendors even worry about accomodating women and their tastes/preferences.

    I went to LISA97 and the Network Appliance booth was apparently catered by the staff from Hooters, in short shorts and tight T-shirts. It gave me an oily, creepy feeling. Did they expect the women admins to plant a Hooter girl in their laps as well or what?

    I *am* tempted to play lesbian for a night next time and make them have one of their chickies spend the evening freshening my drink and sitting on my lap, just to make the point.
  • by Puff (3954)
    > How can we say anythig more than just wow?

    You could post a picture. And maybe one of the IDG employees that left you drooling. And one of Miss Lane.

    Accually, pictures of all of the subjects of your awards would be nice.
  • Godd question! :-)
  • by ink (4325)
    I wanna see Doll House [enlightenment.org] pics.

    The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

  • Are the shelves needed to stack the computers or the geeks?
  • slobber...
  • This is a pretty girl in a black dress [abisource.com]. I am not sure if it is Adrienne Lane, though.

    - Sam

  • free lodging, free transportation, free admission, free bandwidth, yeah, sounds like a great job to me too.

    (Seriously, though, major congrats)

  • Yeah,let's see some expensive sexism for a change!

  • "Babe"ism is in the lusting heart of the beholder.

  • I was there yesterday and never found it... either I was bewildered by everything else, the slashdot booth was small and hidden, or Iam just retarded and walked right by it. fsck!
  • Actually, a tuba is more properly used to hunt squirrel. It is the french horn that works best on deer, although the Northern Mule Deer, metallurgus animositous, is immune to anything originating in the brass section. Some of the lighter woodwinds work best. And for God's sake avoid strings at all costs!
  • by Lando (9348)
    Still need to get the serveRAID drivers completed, or at least I haven't seen them yet.

    Linux on Netfinity

    Lando
  • I don't know how you expect women to stomach this site with all the cheap sexism in the post above.

    And if you want to be sexist, stop with the teasing. Get your booth bunnies to show us some ass.
  • You call these skanks women?
  • SCO. Yes folks, SCO has a booth at LWCE. Advertising their free-beer license for educational use and their "open source package" for UnixWare (just a CD of stuff like apache which is already freely downloadable - type of thing you can get from CheapBytes for <$5). And they wondered why nobody stopped and talked to them. Kind of symbolic how the booth was in the opposite corner of the exhibit floor from the FSF.

    #include "really-appreciate-your-work-Rob.h"

  • Pics for us too..
  • Someone needs to make up T-shirt or something to give the winners.
  • One of those little trueisms we learn when we are young. Sorta like: "You cannot baptize a cat."
  • A few details:
    *Being an engineer doesn't mean that your socially incompetent (sp?).
    *This "show me the babes" nonsense is prettymuch limited to this particular post. The rest of slashdot isn't much like this. At least not topic-wise.
    *Don't think that these people are representative of the average male. Those of us who didn't post requests for pictures of attrative also, by and large, didn't post requests for them not to be show either.
    *I'd rather have seen pictures of people like Linus, Alan Cox, RMS, ESR, etc. and the technology than the good looking but not terribly involved women. If some of the involved people happened to be women, then please give us pictures of them, too. The key point is their involvement. How much meaningful code did they write. That sort of thing.
    *Respectful interest generally does seem to work better, and be far more pleasant, than slobbering lust. It's also less messy on the shirts (or shoes, depending on what catches the slobber). :-)
  • Ummm, no. I just thought it was funny
  • It's reminiscent of MacWorld NY last summer, where they almost didn't let Steve Jobs in (after he showed up "unexpectedly"), because he didn't have a pass. And I think that Jobs is a more recognizable face that Linus, especially among non-geekdom...
  • Of course you do! If you stack 'em like firewood, all you end up with is a big lumpy file with nothing but feet and heads sticking out.
  • You're exactly right, on all counts, but I think you'll also find that there are a lot of men--many of whom are /.ers--who fall somewhere in between: wouldn't mind seeing a beautiful woman (or person, as the case may be), but also won't put up with other people farting and vomiting around them, much less the odd duck hunt.

    The crux of the problem lies in the fact that at conventions such as these, there are a lot of libido sales. Women never seem to fall for that like we do. (Yet, how is it that bulemic heroin addicts can sell shoes to women but Antonio Banderas cannot? Even Calvin Klein needs naked women to peddle his jeans. Maybe it's simply that women can sell anything.)

    Hypothetically, if Rob were, say, Roberta, and Slashdot more frequented by women, and had he mentioned some guy at the LinuxCare booth, you probably wouldn't hear the same clamoring for pictures of him, thus showing that men are, yes, inferior.

    Unless it all comes back to men's unyielding assimilation of all trivia, therefore putting us back on level ground.

    Besides, the engineer in us also realizes that slobbering won't hinder an already zero chance.
  • Now that would be awesome. I bet it would make the booth bimbo think twice (or at least blink twice) about what it means to take a job like that, too.

    And, of course women like to see attractive sales guys. I'm just saying I doubt they'd buy that extra mouse pad or sit through the 20 minute infomercial on the off-chance that he might smile at them. Whereas, lonely, greasy male admins will eat hot coals if there's even a remote chance that someone with breasts (including the other lonely, greasy, male admins) will give them a free T-shirt, or even a pen.

  • REALLY? LinuxWorld in Washington? I live here in Washington!

    But... are there any discounts for college students? Compared to similar trade shows, this year's prices aren't unreasonable at all. Nonetheless, $150 (two days of conferences) is a lot for a student like me to shell out. I'd have no problem spending $15 for an exhibit pass, though. (Does the exhibit pass allow you to see anything else, i.e. the coveted Linus keynote?)

    Anyway, I'm already looking forward to the show! Sign me up, I'll be there!


    Ryan
  • Man if booth babes is what you want you gotta go to E3, or better yet CES. A lot less brain content there but if sex sells than these guys are turning one hell of a profit. Anywho, It's cool to hear about the convention, but like alot of other people here I'm seeking visual gratification. How about it eh? :)
  • The reason there are no "show me a hot dude"
    comments up here is simply because there
    pretty simply weren't any hot guys there.
    I mean, the fellow in the leather pants had
    the right idea, but was just too gothic
    learning for me.
  • Yeah, pretty much the male crowd hovered around the ugly side of average. I didn't see anyone I'd call a "hot guy." No, I take that back. A couple of the guys from VA Research were cute, but I can't say who cause my sister works there and she'll just tellum.

    fragment: "Women like to see attractive sales guys?" BAH! As far as my Stud Watch is concerned, Sales Droids don't count. So that's the Stud Watch report for Linux World! ;)

    The Cool Stuph report is that there was definitely cooler stuph than at ESC-West or the Open Source conference, and AbiSource is moving up in the world, from one to 2 colors on their T-shirts!

    Coolest Free Stuph award goes to LinuxCare, wot with their LINUXGRUVEN bumper stickers and the LNX sticker-badge similar to UK, DE, FR, etc. ones people like to put on their cars.

    Second is Compaq for the LINUX license plate with the New Hampshire motto: "Live Free Or Die" (or as George Carlin put it, "Live Free Or DIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!")

    The band at the kickoff party was great, Man Or Astroman rocks all the gluteus maximus; they're Linux geeks too, and one of their amps is now plastered with a LINUXGRUVEN sticker. They did the "Love Theme" from the MST3K movie, btw.

    Gah. I've prattled long enough.
  • by katana (122232)
    /me passes out freebsd stickers to all the silly linux people.
  • by katana (122232)
    /me sticks a daemon sticker on all the anonymous cowards.
  • by gpowers (206147)
    /me has a "Powered by FreeBSD" sticker on one linux box and a nice raised plastic FreeBSD on my /other/ linux box. But hey, I've also got a "Intel Inside (r)(tm)(c)(p) PII Xeon" sticker on my Pilot III.

    Back to the topic: I want LinuxWorld Babe Pics!

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