Steve Ballmer Reorganizing Microsoft 387
Nerval's Lobster writes "Microsoft's big reorganization has begun. Rumors had persisted for weeks that Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer was planning a massive, once-in-a-lifetime reorganization of the company he's been running for quite some time. Now the plan is out in the open, and things are going to change in huge ways. Microsoft will coalesce around 'a single strategy as one company,' CEO Steve Ballmer wrote in a really lengthy memo posted on Microsoft's Website,
'not a collection of division strategies.'
The company's product portfolio — from Windows and Xbox to enterprise applications — will be regarded and operated upon in a holistic manner. Ballmer wants this
'one company' approach to extend how Microsoft handles its advertising, marketing and consumer-service operations. Ballmer also wants to knock down the walls that have slowly grown between Microsoft's various divisions, at least as far as engineering's concerned. The new 'engineering culture' will apparently facilitate collaboration 'across the company,' with an emphasis on cross-group contributions (and maintaining secrecy, of course, for the giant projects). Read on for much more on how Microsoft is reorganizing all its internal groups, as well as a rundown of who's in and who's out on the executive level."
Ballmer to start wears black turthnecks? (Score:2, Funny)
n/t
Ignoring customers is not a winning strategy. (Score:5, Funny)
Unless you are Apple.
Sounds like a plan (Score:5, Funny)
Fantastic, because what I really need from Microsoft is more synergy between my office applications and the Xbox.
Re:chair jokes (Score:5, Funny)
"Ballmer also wants to knock down the walls"
Nah, too easy.
I was going to say "Steve Ballmer Reorganizing Microsoft ... he's starting with the chairs"
Well, this'll be amusing (Score:3, Funny)
I distinctly hear the sound of swirling water
Re:chair jokes (Score:5, Funny)
"Ballmer also wants to knock down the walls"
Nah, too easy.
Well, I don't know 'bout that. After all, if there are no walls, why do they need Windows?
Re:Sooo.. when is Mr. Ballmer leaving? (Score:5, Funny)
you mean c:\ cause
Re:Sounds like a plan (Score:5, Funny)
you mean you are not happy with the xbox interface on your datacenter server
Door Wide Open (Score:5, Funny)
If this Dilbert cartoon [dilbert.com] does not hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does.
I for one am glad (Score:5, Funny)
what SQL server needs is more tiles
Re:Fixed that for you (Score:5, Funny)
Re:chair jokes (Score:5, Funny)
Brings forth the mental image of Ballmer looking critically while interns strain to hold up a couch, saying "Two inches to the left. Hrm, ok, now two inches to the right. Now another two inches to the left..." for an hour before having them set the couch back down exactly where it was.
Re:Sounds like a plan (Score:5, Funny)
you mean you are not happy with the xbox interface on your datacenter server
I know won't be happy until I can log in to my servers by flipping off my laptop's webcam and screaming: "BOOM! Headshot!!11!!!!"
Re:Door Wide Open (Score:5, Funny)
Re:chair jokes (Score:5, Funny)
They've been quite busy destroying Windows so they will no longer be needed. Tearing down walls is just the next logical step.
Re:Sooo.. when is Mr. Ballmer leaving? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fixed that for you (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fixed that for you (Score:5, Funny)
Except that when it comes to rearranging chairs, nobody is more efficient than Ballmer.
Re:Buh-bye, Microsoft! (Score:5, Funny)
I did something similar with McAfee for a friend when it decided that the best way to protect her from the dangers of the internet was to disable her networking stack.
Well... you've gotta admit, it has a point there...
Re:Fixed that for you (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I for one am glad (Score:5, Funny)
...and more marketing synergies with other exciting products and services in the Microsoft ecosystem!
Boring, old T-SQL: "SELECT USER_ID FROM USERS..."
New dialect coming in SQL Server 2014: "BING USER_ID FROM USERS..."
Re:Ignoring customers is not a winning strategy. (Score:4, Funny)
Apple does not ignore customers; it leads them.
Re:Fixed that for you (Score:5, Funny)
Don't feel bad. Ballmer can't quite make it work either.
Re:Ignoring customers is not a winning strategy. (Score:2, Funny)
Like plantation owners led slaves.
Re: Fixed that for you (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Ignoring customers is not a winning strategy. (Score:4, Funny)
The way Apple does it only works for religions.
And religions only work with morons. ... OK, I see your point. ;)
Re:Sounds like a plan (Score:5, Funny)