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What EMC Looks For When It's Hiring 223

Posted by Slashdot Staff
from the pulse-strongly-recommended dept.
Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com, writes "Because EMC has expanded through more than 70 acquisitions in eight years — it was hiring even during the recession — and because many of the acquired companies were startups, it is trying to leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative. People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run,' Thus, a key to getting the company's attention is to prove you can do what you say you can. In other words, when Murray asks if you can work fast, you can't just say yes. You'll have to use your previous achievements to prove that you can."
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What EMC Looks For When It's Hiring

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  • Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:47PM (#42876203)

    I see advertisements like this will be standard for now on, I guess I'll be taking my pageviews elsewhere then...

    • Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:50PM (#42876225)

      They are owned by Dice.com now. What did you expect?

      • Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:57PM (#42876291)

        Disclosure that it's an advertisement and not a "news" posting. There have been many discussions recently about tagging advertising (Facebook in appropriate tagging of targeted advertising), and I'd expect at least as much from Slashdot. Unfortunately, I may delete the RSS feed from Slashdot as well if this is really going to be the way things are...

        Seriously, behavior like this makes me LESS likely to want to look for a new job through Dice.com and tarnishes the reputation of the companies being highlighted in the posts. I'd be less interested in working for EMC after reading this.

        • Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:4, Informative)

          by lister king of smeg (2481612) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:27PM (#42877137)

          well you could see that it is submitted by the /. staff .'. it is a slashvertisement. if you want and you have and account you could just filter out all all of the stories submitted by the "slashdot staff" aka dice marketing drones, and only have user/editor submitted stories.

        • Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)

          by stephanruby (542433) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @08:22PM (#42877749)

          Seriously, behavior like this makes me LESS likely to want to look for a new job through Dice.com and tarnishes the reputation of the companies being highlighted in the posts.

          You won't miss much, far too many spamming recruiters have taken root on Dice.com anyhow. Dice used to be great, but now it's as bad as Monster.com

      • Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)

        by newcastlejon (1483695) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:15PM (#42876447)

        What did you expect?

        The ability to tag something as !story.
        I've been waiting for that for some time, actually, given some of the stuff that occasionally congeals on the end of the firehose.

      • by billstewart (78916) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @09:54PM (#42878599) Journal

        Ironic to hear them talking about what they look for when they're hiring - they just laid off a lot of people from their main company (and I think also from VMware.)

    • Re:Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Dan667 (564390) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:01PM (#42876317)
      maybe stories by "slashdot staff" can be ignored in the settings.
    • The Slashvertisement isn't disguised very well. I have no problem identifying this story as an ad, just like I have no problem identifying the ads in the top-right corner of the page.

      Slashdot needs revenue to continue and advertising is how they generate it. So what's your problem?
      • by NFN_NLN (633283)

        Slashdot needs revenue to continue and advertising is how they generate it. So what's your problem?

        It's like Prada selling knock-offs... it cheapens their brand.
        Slashdot advertising low paying / high work hour EMC jobs doesn't do anything for their brand.

        I would say advertise jobs for worthwhile companies... but then again worthwhile companies probably have no problems finding employees.

      • Re:Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Seumas (6865) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:34PM (#42876605)

        I wonder what Slashdot really truly does need revenue for, anymore, to keep running? Its audience is smaller than it has been in many years, so the amount of hardware to maintain it is surely limited. It's not like it's undergoing massive UI redesign or anything. The submissions are from the community. The editing consists of clicking a button and saying "what the fuck, here goes" with minimal "editing" of any kind.

        I mean, functionally, Slashdot should be a pretty minimally demanding site. The only need to generate revenue anymore is likely more "because we paid so much to buy the site!" than "because it costs so much to operate it!".

        • I'd happily pay a reasonable monthly subscription if it meant I could have a say in who the editors were(n't) and something was done about the persistent spammers and ne'er-do-wells.
        • by Grishnakh (216268)

          The editing consists of clicking a button and saying "what the fuck, here goes" with minimal "editing" of any kind.

          You're massively exaggerating the amount of work done by Slashdot editors. At best, they click a button and if they're feeling bery generous, utter "here goes". There sure is hell isn't any editing at all done, definitely nothing that qualifies as "minimal".

    • Re: Stay classy ./ (Score:5, Interesting)

      by OnlineAlias (828288) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:30PM (#42876563)
      I seriously wouldn't put it past them. I absolutely loath EMC and its sales teams (and I know I'm not alone). I have been dealing with them for almost 20 years, and have never quite understood where they find exactly the same types of people to engineer and hock their products year after year after year. They are relentless, would whore their own mothers to get a sale, and actually have some of the worse technology integration in the industry. The only thing that has changed is the faces. Never the culture, technology or tactics. It is amazing that they can hold that together for so long...
      • by dave562 (969951)

        It is amazing. Their sales team is atrocious. The reason they are still around is because they continue to bring good hardware to the market, and support it with a solid support organization. You pay through the nose for it, but they meet their SLAs. Just make sure that you read the fine print on those contracts. They will nickle and dime you to death.

  • by ZorinLynx (31751) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:49PM (#42876221) Homepage

    Whenever I rush myself, I make mistakes, miss things, etc.. I end up not doing a good job.

    Isn't prioritizing speed a bad thing? Better to do the job right than fast.

    • by DigiShaman (671371) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:58PM (#42876303) Homepage

      'One and Done' is passé. It's now all about flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants in out of order execution style. This leads to excessive burnout. Trust me, I know first hand. The stress level never drops and can lead to PTSD.

    • by c0lo (1497653)

      Whenever I rush myself, I make mistakes, miss things, etc..

      Well, you are not made of the stuff EMC is looking for.

      Isn't prioritizing speed a bad thing? Better to do the job right than fast.

      There's no such a thing as a "right way" in the "clouds" - (e.g. there will always be machines about to give the holly smoke out. You do need to run and run fast to replace the failing machine)

    • by Spazmania (174582)

      Yeah, I was going to say: work smart, not fast.

    • by KalvinB (205500)

      It's a balance. If you can't do the job with as high of quality as someone else in the same time or faster, you're going to lose out to the other guy.

      Master chef's can turn out much higher quality food much faster than your average cook. That's why they work for fancy restaurants and get paid lots of money.

      When people want quality and speed, they want experts.

      • by Grishnakh (216268)

        Master chefs for fancy restaurants don't turn all that much. They order around a bunch of other chefs, who do the grunt work in the kitchen.

  • What EMS is looking for when hiring:

    Demonstrate value

    Inspire Hope

    C++

    Engage Physically

  • by vlm (69642) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:54PM (#42876265)

    when Murray asks if you can work fast

    Yeah just what I want in my storage gear, the fastest to market. Eh, reliability, long life, ease of use, who needs that stuff.

    I think I'm done here...

    • by c0lo (1497653)

      when Murray asks if you can work fast

      Yeah just what I want in my storage gear, the fastest to market. Eh, reliability, long life, ease of use, who needs that stuff.

      I think I'm done here...

      Why... this is exactly the reason fast runners are required for the job! To find another stupid person to be parted with her/his money before the competition does.

  • who... (Score:4, Funny)

    by Ryanrule (1657199) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:56PM (#42876281)

    ...give as a fuck who this guy says? Community manager?

    • by grcumb (781340)

      ...give as a fuck who this guy says? Community manager?

      In Soviet Slashdotistan, community manages you!*

      * "It's funny because it's true." - Homer Simpson

  • by sunderland56 (621843) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @05:59PM (#42876305)

    What they're really after is people who will work 60+ hour weeks for low pay. Oh, and if you have some computer skills too, that's good.

    • by KalvinB (205500)

      That's what most companies are looking for. This is why I'm a freelancer. I have enough work to keep me busy well over 40 hours a week and get paid for every single hour I work.

  • WTF? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by sgt_doom (655561) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:02PM (#42876329)
    Who the eff is EMC??? Why hasn't anyone ever heard of them before?
    • by ERJ (600451)
      From Wikipedia:

      EMC Corporation is an American multinational corporation that offers data storage, information security, virtualization, and cloud computing products and services which enable businesses to store, manage, protect, and analyze massive volumes of data. EMC's target markets include large FORTUNE 500 companies as well as small business across various vertical markets.[2] It is headquartered in Hopkinton, Massachusetts.

      EMC Page [wikipedia.org]

      They did 20 billion in revenue last year so they are not exac
    • EMC=Ellison Mining Corporation, naturally.
    • by grcumb (781340) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @09:38PM (#42878469) Homepage Journal

      Who the eff is EMC???

      Well, it was Run EMC originally. A Run DMC tribute group that ended up washing out when the LA gangstas took over the music scene, so they moved on to data storage and virtualisation.

  • Dear Dice.com (Score:5, Interesting)

    by DylanQuixote (538987) <(dylan) (at) (hardison.net)> on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:02PM (#42876331) Homepage
    Have you ever read the story of the goose that laid the golden egg?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:04PM (#42876345)

    Dice thinks they are being smart to try to mask a plug for a company. They did it with redhat and now emc. It has already left a bad taste in my mouth and overtime I'll come here less and less.
    If you are the smart guys at DICE you have been told.

    • by neminem (561346)

      I dunno. I'm kind of enjoying it - I need to fill my daily quota of snarkiness and complaining. These kind of threads are perfect for that.

    • naah ... I can handle a story like this one every day or so. What almost drove me away not too long ago was the stream of flamebait mobile stories slashdot was publishing not so long ago. Those stories were literally tearing the community apart for pageviews.

      Thankfully, things have calmed down to the point where discussions don't fly off the rails at the mention of iOS or Android anymore.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Ironic a company that wants fast would keep a candidate waiting for two and half hours in a barely air conditioned lobby. I only stayed because the recrutor begged me to stay. I asume he had some quota to fill. Finally some frat brother type finally arrives to give me a precusory 15 minute meeting which he wraps up by telling me all the reasons he doesn't like me. Needless to say I haven't exactly hurt myself advocating anything EMC in the last ten years.

  • Sounds fun (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:11PM (#42876419)

    When I woke up this morning, I realized that I wasn't dealing with enough competing corporate factions, and that my boss wasn't tracking my performance closely enough. In the past I'd given consideration to getting involved in slavery, but most of the options out there didn't align with my professional goals. Thank you, /., for giving me this career lead.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:16PM (#42876453)

    Please go fuck yourself. That's all.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:16PM (#42876457)

    Wow, what an unbelievably horrible story. Everyone: we need to send a message to /.'s newest corporate overlords. If you don't have mod points, post a comment saying how shitty this is. Seriously -- one line is fine. If you do have mod points, mod up every comment that says so. I want to see 1,000 comments and 100 +5s by the end of the night. MAYBE they'll notice.

    Posting anon so no one thinks I'm just karma whoring. I've been coming here 15 years, mainly for the comments, but enough crap like this and I'll quit reading because I know all the smart people who give a shit won't stick around.

  • Dice is horrible (Score:5, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:19PM (#42876479)

    Who else would promote a job with a company thats acquired 10 times a year as some kind of golden ticket? Every one of those acquisitions comes with layoffs and a whole new, cheaper staff - that's what nimble is a codeword for.

    I listed my resume on Dice once, about 5 years ago. Worst mistake of my life. I don't even live in the US anymore, and still get about 2 dozen spams from con artist "head hunters" telling me about the latest exciting opportunity to be fucked over by some two week contract in timbucktoo.

    Now I get spam on /. too! Hip hip hooray!

  • Bullshit Bingo (Score:5, Insightful)

    by JDG1980 (2438906) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:23PM (#42876519)

    leverage the more dynamic cultures it's inherited and make itself more nimble and innovative

    A hint to the recruiters and advertisers at Dice.com and EMC: Slashdot readers generally aren't very impressed by this sort of Bullshit Bingo. These phrases you're spewing are designed to sound impressive, but they don't actually mean much of anything – other than "I've got an MBA and I'm trying desperately to prove my worth."

    People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run

    Translation: They exploit the hell out of their employees.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward

      People it hired 'need to be able to move fast and run

      Translation: They exploit the hell out of their employees.

      You need to know how to run away from EMC. If they catch (or hire) you, you've lost!

  • by jc42 (318812) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:25PM (#42876527) Homepage Journal

    Clearly my preferred strategy of studying problems, thinking about them, and writing a solution that correctly solves all the problems we can come up with would be utterly unacceptable there. They clearly prefer the strategy of "rapid prototyping", dealing with only a few problems (probably those that customers have reported), and not much bothering with testing the "solution" before delivering it.

    It's good to know such things before applying for a job.

    And their strategy does seem rather common in the business world, which explains the large percentage of buggy, poorly-designed stuff that we see all the time.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:32PM (#42876595)

    Almost every company I ever worked for fear competent people.

    They identify them early and the managers smear you with shit before you can even shine.

    This occured with an EMC subsidiary, VMware were two managers on my floor were sociopaths. Made life very interesting. They were not interested in what was good for the company but what made their bonusses inflate. These sociopaths were in Burlington, Ontario and the VP of the diviision may Kim Il Jong look like a very subtle egoless individual.

    When I dared take a risk and moved up the food chain to expose the incompetence, I was shortly terminated. Many of the new procedures increased our case time thru poor tool selection while pressure was increased due to increased business to terminate cases in shorter order. In essence VMware became Microsoft to say reboot your machine and things will be fine. BS -- funny how much of the management where ex-MS people who had no concept of UNIX-RT kernel issues which vmware was loosely based on. They also raised the barriours to log new bugs and during my period there working on failure cases, the time to resolving failures increased from 1-2 months to 6-12 months because the teams resolving the issues were moved overseas where there was a resistance to resolve issues.

    In another company, I on my third day of employment I exposed 20 failure points that would escalate to various serious issues -- of course being a good employee one does not blow away a design without providing a solution. Did that in a 5 page memo -- every criticism had a solution. I was yelled at and screamed at by the VP for a good hour using every major expletive possible on who the f*** I was. One year later all 20 failure points exploded into 20 major forest fires -- I was brought into a tiger team to resolve the issues and eventually I brought up my previous memo -- the VPs freaked, the President/CEO was shocked and wanted to meet with me when he came back from vacation -- was terminated mid-way thru his vacation. Suspected it was cover your a** time.

    No -- companies do NOT want you to expose their weaknesses because it marks the previous management and it affects the present bonusses of the present management.

    This is just major HR boulderdash. Just total BS to identify people they really don't want.

    This was written by somebody who has no experience in a major corporation.

    my two cents.

    A frustrated engineer with 30+ years experiense.

    • "Boulderdash" - sounds like an awesome game for which we should volunteer these manager types. You mean "balderdash" methinks. Close enough. Still, "boulder dash" leaves a nice visual impression.
  • Dice.com? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by olip85 (1770514) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:46PM (#42876709)
    Isn't it them who bought Slashdot? And now we see them on the front page every week? What a coincidence... What good is a news source without so much as a veil of neutrality?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:48PM (#42876723)

    If anything, these thinly veiled plugs just show that Dice, itself, is trying to "leverage the dynamic culture" of /. Keep it up Dice and you know who else needs "to be able to move fast and run"? Everyone visiting this site because they have better things to do than read non-articles like this.

  • by fuckface (32611) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @06:52PM (#42876769)

    Not EMC! Had to deal with them on multiple products at my last job and they were horrible. Their own professional services people would tell us so regularly. Their salesmen consistently lied about product capabilities and management at my company ate it up. Millions of dollars were given to them for what amounts to shelfware and their storage was swapped out for Hitachi because it also didn't live up to the promises. But because they're a "partner company" it was the ops department's job to eat as much shit as EMC could spew at us and like it.

  • by sdguero (1112795) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:04PM (#42876875)
    All I got was spam from the site and spam from recruiters asking if I want to move to texas for a 3 month contract to write code to test Ruby on rails deployments for 60 hours a week at $15 an hour. Now that dice.com owns slashdot and all I see is spam for me to work 60 hours a week to test whatever company has the most openings on their website. Synopsis: Dice is an evil spam monster of a company and has infected an old favorite of mine. Conclusion: I'm not going to use this website anymore.
  • by enjar (249223) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:05PM (#42876887) Homepage

    My wife worked there for several years. One friend commented when she started that it was a great place to have on your resume, since you'd be looking for a job after the layoff came. Sure enough, layoff comes, she gets a package, and now people are impressed that she worked there. The culture was best described as "macho", her management was from the "mushroom management" school, and the outsourcing stories hilarious. I'm amazed the place stays open.

  • by 6Yankee (597075) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:12PM (#42876955)

    ...and here was me thinking the editors had no shame...

  • I miss CmdrTaco (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Midnight_Falcon (2432802) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:19PM (#42877033)
    Back in those days, Slashdot didn't have ads about working for Red Hat, EMC or other massive corporations that care little for individuals in the face of lengthy, restrictive HR policies.
  • by mutube (981006) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:20PM (#42877057) Homepage

    Hey, it's stopped working!

  • by Wireless Joe (604314) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:37PM (#42877235) Homepage
    I've been visiting Slashdot less and less, and stories like this show me I've been making the right choice. So where is the core audience moving to?
  • Now, not only do I know never to post a profile on Dice.com and never search Dice.com for potential employees, I should also never ever accept a job offer from EMC. And probably should also avoid using their products if I can manage it, since they show all the signs of making their tech team work insane hours to churn out overpriced garbage.

  • by sdguero (1112795) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @07:53PM (#42877437)
    feedback@slashdot.org

    I sent an email from my work address. Maybe everyone else that sees this dribble should too.
    • by sdguero (1112795)
      I sent this from ym work email (tech company, title, and last name cut off for this post)...

      From: Ryan Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 4:57 PM To: 'feedback@slashdot.org' Subject: Dice.com influence over slashdot needs to stop right now This is a vain attempt to save a website I’ve been reading and contributing too since 1998. Dice.com, you need to stop. Just stop. Like right now. Another post full of buzzwords from a PC magazine hack about what employers want will make me not visit /. ever again
  • by RichMeatyTaste (519596) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @10:08PM (#42878697)
    As with any company, your quality of life depends on your boss. Mine sets realistic quarterly goals, which I've met every quarter since starting there (yes I work for EMC). I occasionally work a few extra hours a week around product launches, or to do extra testing, but it is a few weeks per quarter at most. Our software engineers? Yeah they have it rough at times but they are paid well too, and their work is tied to products worth billions (makes the resume look good). Plus I have an office, no dress code (in our NC office anyway), onsite workout facility, and other perks. Best job I've had 13 years into my career.
  • FTA, it appears to "people who aren't, you know, old." Between the lines, that message came through loud and clear.
  • How about DRDC?
    Didn't read, Don't care.
    --
    Had to deal with those wizards as part of my day job.
    They made the comcast robots sound useful.
    Perhaps needless to say, my company found a different vendor for our multi million dollar backup solution.

  • Gentlemen, the State of the ./ is SOLD OUT.
    Dice. This crap came from dice. Dice stop it before you go too far.
  • Any company earning more than 50 million a year has no IDEA what it means to move 'fast'. I work for a certain tech company in NJ and we know how to be 'agile' and move fast. Go to hell EMC, and go to hell slashdot for being a sellout. What the hell happened to you?
  • by eWarz (610883) on Tuesday February 12, 2013 @11:37PM (#42879445) Homepage
    Holy shit...I actually had a comment deleted. I'm not making this up. I flamed dice.com for making stories up and EMC for being a garbage company to work for and slashdot removed my post.
  • by AndOne (815855) on Wednesday February 13, 2013 @12:04AM (#42879667)
    Seriously, before DICE bought /. it seemed like I just didn't have enough time to catch up on all the articles I wanted to. Now I'm lucky if there's two or three articles a week that are interesting enough for even a second glance. And now this shit? Terrible...

    I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Dead? No excuse for laying off work.

Working...