Which Shipping Company Is Kindest To Your Packages?

Ant writes "Popular Mechanics mailed a bunch of sensors on an epic journey to find out which American shipping company is the most careful with your packages. From the article: 'One disheartening result was that our package received more abuse when marked "Fragile" or "This Side Up." The carriers flipped the package more, and it registered above-average acceleration spikes during trips for which we requested careful treatment.' Here's what they found."

TSA

[smittyoneeach]

. . .will be kind to your package, as long as there is not too much junk in it.

Re:When I worked for UPS

[LynnwoodRooster]

Would labeling it "bottle deer urine" work as well, too?

Re:ups / fedex push to much in there conveyor syst

[Anonymous Coward]

Thanks. My brain hurts.

Re:I like UPS

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, your UPS guys must be a lot cooler than the ones around here. I'm consider it lucky if they bring the package to the door. Expensive parts, medical supplies, live plants, whatever, find them everywhere, they just toss them off the truck and move on. Yeah, I've found medical stuff on the side of the road, like being in an FPS. They won't even ring the doorbell when it's obvious people are home to let anyone know there's something sitting outside. Maybe you have better luck, but I hate UPS. For anything important, I ask for FedEx delivery.

Re:TSA

[Dayze!Confused]

When I worked at UPS I remember my foot going through a Dell package, they had pretty sturdy boxes, just not a match for my steeled toed boots...

I Mark Mine

[Greyfox]

"Do Not Impale With Spear". So far none of the packages that I've sent this way have been impaled with spears.

Re:USPS... gentle?

[PPH]

At first glance, the USPS being the most gentle seems to be surprising.

Not really. Slow speed == low rates of acceleration == less damage.

The geezer who took my package at the USPS window this morning probably hasn't made it to the 'outgoing' bin yet.

Re:Whenever I have something delivered

[cdrudge]

DHL is the worst, I had electronics shipped from China and the box came soaked with water.

Next time don't ask for ground shipping from China. Pay the extra and go with air. Or at least by boat.

Simple

[PPH]

Put "Fragile, Glass" and "Biohazard" stickers on it.

Re:When I worked for UPS

[Anonymous Coward]

Presumably because he had a bad burrito the night before.

Re:I like UPS

[snakeplissken]

Yeah, I've found medical stuff on the side of the road, like being in an FPS.

but did walking over it automatically fix you up?

Re:When I worked for UPS

[mysidia]

You do know you can mail live bees?

Perfect... Warning: Fragile: Contains Live Bees.

Make sure your package contains some visible holes on the exterior, such as handle holes on the carton, air vents.

Re:When I worked for UPS

[bertoelcon]

Would labeling it "bottle deer urine" work as well, too?

Not according to my experience unpacking various urines at a hunting store.

The language barrier, obviously.

[ibsteve2u]

One disheartening result was that our package received more abuse when marked "Fragile" or "This Side Up."

I'm sure that the package would be handled much more carefully if you stamped "Fragile" and "This Side Up" on it in Arabic.

Re:When I worked for UPS

[Anonymous Coward]

My favorite tracking log entry:
Delayed- train derailment.

Re:In a just world...

[Eskarel]

True, and you know how monkeys like to throw stuff.

Re:TSA

[imakemusic]

Do you suggest graduating a college boost you resistance to hypothermia?

Maybe college isn't such a bad idea.

Psychological field test

[SpaghettiPattern]

Psychological field test:

• Spread an abundance of toys into an otherwise empty room.
• Introduce a kid into the room.
• Tell the kid he can play with any toy EXCEPT the one you point out.
• Leave the room.
• Observe.
• Be disappointed by the result.
• Repeat with different kids until utterly appalled by humanity.

Alternative test:

• Use fruits instead of toys.
• Use a woman instead of a kid.
• Exclude the apple.
• Let humanity redeem itself through ridiculous penitence.

The moral: Actively NOT doing something primarily needs you to contemplate performing the actual task. And then you have to suffer the abstinence.

Re:TSA

[Anonymous Coward]

I think you missed the point.

Maybe.

You can't quite bring yourself to say "yes" can you?

Undamaged package

[jbeaupre]

Nearly 30 years ago I stumbled on a way to ship items without any damage happening. I needed to bring back two boxes of stuff from my grandparents. I didn't look to closely at the two boxes, but the airport sure did. "Does this box really have sulfuric acid?" Huh? Oh, that's just the box. Don't worry. It was left over from treating the swimming pool.

At baggage at my destination, the sulfuric acid box was pristine. Not a scratch, dent, or tear. The corners were perfect. The regular box was beat to hell and barely holding together.

I doubt you could even use a left over pool chemical box anymore.

Re:When I worked for UPS

[StikyPad]

Now that I know that, I almost want to order some. I can see it now...

"Honey, why did you order 5 baby chicks?"

"Because I could."

"But what are we going to do with them?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead..."