Celebrate Your Next Birthday At the Microsoft Store 301
theodp writes "Chuck E. Cheese, meet Bill H. Gates. A leaked PowerPoint posted at Gizmodo provides a glimpse of what Microsoft's retail shops may look like, noting that you'll even be able to pay to celebrate your birthday there. Some of the stores that were profiled for ideas were Nike, Nokia, Sony, Apple, and AT&T. Microsoft's take on the Genius Bar is the Answers Bar (aka Guru Bar, Windows Bar)."
Will it be next to the furniture store? (Score:5, Funny)
'Cause I'd really like to throw a chair at a Google logo.
I thought they were going to be Metaminds. (Score:5, Funny)
Forged of eight Geniuses.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/7/20/ [penny-arcade.com]
Bday! (Score:5, Funny)
"...noting that you'll even be able to pay to celebrate your birthday there."
Will it include, complementary, one or two members of the Vista dev team that decided to break the reasonably good UI in Windows XP? Or one of the Office guys that thought getting rid of menus would be a great idea?
Because then I'd pay to have my birthday party there.
Oh, yes.
Re:Bday! (Score:5, Funny)
Or one of the Office guys that thought getting rid of menus would be a great idea?
They'll be there.
They need someone to put the ribbon on the presents.
2 Things: (Score:5, Funny)
b) I wonder if they'd object if I stood outside and handed out Ubuntu CD's?
The Microsoft birthday song (Score:5, Funny)
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear
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They should have called it... (Score:5, Funny)
Serve Beer... (Score:5, Funny)
At least Chuck E. Cheese lets the parents get a pitcher to ease the pain of the entire experience.
Microsoft better do the same.
Re:2 Things: (Score:5, Funny)
oh noes. (Score:5, Funny)
"I see that you're trying to celebrate a birthday. Would you like help with tha--aARAGGGHHH!"
Another satisfied customer discovers the joy of killing Clippy for his/her birthday.
Re:How to decide what to eat? (Score:4, Funny)
Man, did I miss the boat. (Score:5, Funny)
Clearly I was born two decades too early. I feel gypped. Today's kids have no idea how lucky they are.
Re:Microsoft has retail stores? (Score:5, Funny)
There will be a progress indicator at the checkout, but it will vary wildly between 10 seconds and 10^23 years remaining. You'll also be accosted by store security at least 10 times on the way out to verify that your receipt is genuine.
Re:2 Things: (Score:5, Funny)
Some customers will sneak in at night and have their birthday parties for free. Eye patches will be mandatory.
Re:Personalization (Score:3, Funny)
I don't really have any need to buy Microsoft products
Problem is: Nobody does.
but it's certainly interesting.
And here is where it gets funny:
They will have everybody looking. But nobody buying. Wondering why.
"Why does our hipness not work? Aren't we so cool? What has Apple, what we don't have?"
It's of course, because they are just imitators instead of innovators. Which also happens to be exactly why they will not figure that one out.
Quite funny, isn't it? ^^
___ :D :D
P.S.: Who wants to form a flash mob at their first store? (Tell all your friends.) We will gather shortly before closing time. Filling more and more of the percentage of the people there. Until the exact moment, when someone asks us all to leave because they are closing, a short nod will go around to everyone, so we know that now is the moment.
And then we will all point to the sales people like Neslon Muntz, go "HAA HAAAA", and leave. All at once.
I really hope Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, and some camera teams will be there.
I remember Gateway stores... (Score:2, Funny)
Didn't they go bankrupt very soon, within just a few years of opening all those stores?
Rofl. MS is on the way out, eh?
Re:The Sadness that is Microsoft (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Will it be next to the furniture store? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Microsoft has retail stores? (Score:5, Funny)
Better than the linux store, where you have to build the whole store yourself. If you don't like the pot holes in the parking area, they say you can fix them yourself.
Re:They should have called it... (Score:1, Funny)
Kudos, that's a brilliant idea, such a shame they won't call it that.
Of course you could always order some food from the Start Menu.
Re:Will it be next to the furniture store? (Score:5, Funny)
"It appears you are trying to browse for Office software, would you like some help on purchasing Windows Seven?"
Re:Will it be next to the furniture store? (Score:5, Funny)
Abort [ ] Retry [X] Fail [ ] - click, whirr, click, whirr, click, whirr
Abort [X] Retry [ ] Fail [ ] - click, whirr, click, whirr, click, whirr
What [ ] The [ ] Fuck [X]?
Those were the days - bring back floppies! Maybe there'e a Memory Lane section in the Microsoft Store . . .
Better than some other stores... (Score:5, Funny)
Gentoo Linux Store party - You arrive at the site where the store should be, and get handed a box of tools and building materials. You miss your party and spend the next year building the store by hand with your party guests, only to find out you don't have compatible windows, doors, or toilets. The store staff assures you these are under development and should be buildable by your next birthday party.
OpenBSD Store party - You drive to the store, and security doesn't let you in.
Ubuntu Linux Store party - You arrive and are welcomed by lavishly decorated and friendly African tribesmen. The staff of the Debian store across the street glares the entire time, disgustedly.
ReactOS Store party - It looks similar to the Microsoft Store party, but comes with all the "perks" of the GNU Store party.
Re:So if it's my birthday (Score:3, Funny)
No, but you do get to choose between Windows Starter, Home Basic, Home Premium, Professional , Enterprise, Ultimate, Server Standard, Server Standard without Hyper-V, Enterprise Server, Enterprise Server without Hyper-v, Data Centre, Data Centre without Hyper-V, HPC Server, Foundation Server, Web Server, Small Business Server, Small Business Server Premium, Essential Business Server, Essential Business Server Premium, Embedded, Mobile or Smartphone.