IBM Hides the Bodies, Eyes US Government Billions 410
theodp writes "As his company was striving to hide the bodies of its laid-off North American workers, IBM CEO Sam Palmisano stood beside President Barack Obama and waxed patriotic: 'We need to reignite growth in our country,' Palmisano said. 'We need to undertake projects that actually will create jobs.' While Sam positions IBM to get a slice of the $825 billion stimulus pie, Big Blue is quietly cutting thousands of jobs and refusing to release the numbers or locations, arguing that SEC disclosure rules don't apply since the US job cuts are immaterial in its big global picture. The layoffs included hundreds in East Fishkill, coming early in the year after NY taxpayers paid IBM $45 million not to cut additional jobs in East Fishkill in 2008. Some are questioning whether IBM incentives are worth the cost."
Nobody... (Score:5, Funny)
Ever got fired for workign for IBM...
Sam steps up... (Score:5, Funny)
He steps over the bodies of the fallen, leaps into the air and does a perfect belly flop into the barrel, with a belly laugh for effect - he'll get good style marks for that.
Sixes from five of the judges,only a 5.7 from China and billions for a wealthy corporation! Sam's gotta be pleased with that result.
Re:Mini Ask /. (Score:1, Funny)
p> what are good jobs to be in at these times?
Monks. State bureaucrat. End-of-the-world-sectist.
What are good skills to have at these times?
Lamenting. Brown-nosing. Blackmailing.
Hold on... (Score:5, Funny)
Workers to power! (Score:2, Funny)
Forge a revolutionary Leninist-Trotskyist workers party! Sweep away capitalist anarchy and barbarism with international socialist revolution!
Re:Time to tighten our belts (Score:5, Funny)
Italy has averaged one government per year since WW2. They flirt with everyone, they're kinda famous for it.
Re:Time to tighten our belts (Score:3, Funny)
> Because big screen TVs and beer sales would go through the roof?
Now that's an economic stimulus plan the average Joe can understand and support.
c.
Re:Workers to power! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What a scoop! (Score:4, Funny)
I'll tell you what - you give me a few suitcases of that soon to be worthless money, I'll give you some worthless goods in exchange (perhaps some brightly colored beads?), and we'll call it even.
Re:Time to tighten our belts (Score:4, Funny)
When I drank 100 coffees in one day, I was able to save all my friends from a fire caused by a cigar.