Comrade, You Are So Not Getting a Dell 600
theodp writes "At the World Economic Forum, Michael Dell's pitch to help Russia with its computers got the cold-as-Siberia shoulder from Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. 'We don't need help,' shot back Putin. 'We are not invalids. We don't have limited mental capacity' (video — rant starts at 1:24). 'Our programmers are some of the best in the world,' Putin continued. 'No one would contest that here — not even our Indian colleagues.'"
In Soviet Russia (Score:4, Funny)
And Michael Looked Back (Score:5, Funny)
and said "Well ... ok then."
dude, (Score:5, Funny)
you're getting a polonium 210!
Russian Computing (Score:5, Funny)
Our botnets span the globe! Our shadowy hosting providers are without peer! Our ability to ddos former republics who move monuments is second to none...
Russia has a cool new blackberry competitor (Score:1, Funny)
It weighs in at 350 lbs and is bigger than a kaypro.
They hope to have it scaled down in the next 5-year plan.
he sounds (Score:2, Funny)
like a man refusing to ask for directions.
'Honey, we're fine, I know where we are, the main road has to intersect this one eventually, I'm not an idiot.'
Meanwhile dueling banjos are heard...
Re:Look out Mike! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:In Soviet Russia (Score:5, Funny)
It's just as well. They can configure the OS scheduler to divide time equally between all processes.
Re:The Cold War Called ... (Score:4, Funny)
Not a shoe?
Re:In Soviet Russia (Score:5, Funny)
Unless, of course, the owner of a process is a Party official.
Re:The Cold War Called ... (Score:3, Funny)
In Soviet Russia (Score:1, Funny)
Re:And Michael Looked Back (Score:5, Funny)
Beware of geeks bearing gifts.
Fixed that for you.
Re:In Soviet Russia (Score:5, Funny)
Beware of geeks bearing gifts. (Score:1, Funny)
Beware of geeks bearing gifts.
Really, how could you miss that joke. Hand in your slashdot ID and go have some sex you traitor! You are not one of us, you probably even talk to girls!
Re:In Soviet Russia (Score:5, Funny)
It's just as well. They can configure the OS scheduler to divide time equally between all processes.
Except for the colonel of course, he always seems to get more than the normal process.
Re:In Soviet Russia (Score:5, Funny)
-1, 0, 1?
And of course, FILE_NOT_FOUND.
Re:The Cold War Called ... (Score:2, Funny)
That's an unreasonable expectation. If you fuck up for eight years in a row, you don't simply stop hearing about it a few weeks after you begin to stop.
You talking about 'W' or Clinton? ;-)
(You DID mention the 'F' word.)
Bright Side (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The Cold War Called ... (Score:2, Funny)
A shoe is the *furthest* insult you can throw. But we're looking for *highest* for this particular trivia question.
Re:The Cold War Called ... (Score:4, Funny)
Not a shoe?
Not a chair?
Oh right, this is Dell, not Microsoft.
Re:In Soviet Russia (Score:4, Funny)
Even Apply dumped the commie PowerPC and went with Western capitalist x86.
Re:And Michael Looked Back (Score:5, Funny)
All scedulers are commies (Score:5, Funny)
"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need" describes schedulers more accurately. Dividing the time up equally would be like .... oh, I dunno, something about a Ferrari and hot grits ...
Re:And Michael Looked Back (Score:3, Funny)
I guess that is cause for him to worry. After all, the only person allowed to be kleptocratic oligarch is him!
Re:And Michael Looked Back (Score:4, Funny)
You mean when shove comes to Putch? [wikipedia.org]
Re:The Cold War Called ... (Score:5, Funny)
Exactly! Everything in history is the fault of the DemocRAT party.
It's not as if $7.5T of the $10.5T debt was run up under Republican presidents. It's not like $5T was run up under Bush while his party had control of the House, Senate, Supreme Court, and Federal courts. It was the LIEberals!
It's all the fault of TAX and SPEND Democrats who.. uh.. had a surplus when they were last in office? Uh. No it HAS to be Clinton's fault, otherwise there might be some flaw in my world view. That's impossible, because I'm a Conservative!
Er, yeah. Clinton fucked a chubby intern. That's what caused this mess. If he hadn't done that, Alan Greenspan would never have left interest rates criminally low for too long. In 2004, the SEC would never have raised the leverage limit from 12:1 to 30:1 (making a 3% decline in asset values wipe our your company).
And whatever wasn't the fault of Clinton was CARTER's fault. That damn CRA, which passed in 1977. It broke the economy 30 years later because it forced the GSEs to make loans to black people (a.k.a. the lazy poor who are only poor because they are irresponsible and they drive Cadillacs and have cable TV that they buy with their welfare checks which they don't deserve) even though the mess extends far beyond subprime mortgages and that private, non-GSE mortgages account for 3/4 of the problem. It's the fault of Clinton, Carter, Fannie, and Freddie. All LIEberals.
(I'm not racist. My church once had a black guy in it. I just think all black people are lazy. But that's not racism. Read the "Bell Curve", a fine scholarly work.)
And, anyway, Bush's tax cuts worked as promised. His tax cuts created the same number of jobs in eight years as Clinton created in thirteen months! They are why we located all those WMDs and why the fundamentals of our economy are strong. It was TOO MUCH REGULATION that caused the problems that are purely psychological. There's no problem with the economy, except for all the problems with it, which are ONLY the fault of DemocRATs.
Also, the media is liberal. Like Joe Scarborough. I mean, it's not like liberal MSNBC would put a Conservative congressman on TV for three hours a day. (Shout out to Lori Klausutis!)
Yup. I can't believe how quickly the LIEberals on Slashdot forget the details of history.
I'm a small government, free market Conservative who wants Sarah Palin to be Dictator for Life. She gives me star-bursts in my pants.
--
Did I get that right? I think that's the current Conservative orthodoxy. It's certainly got all the wonderfully truthy proclamations I've heard from Conservatives THIS FUCKING WEEK.
Re:And Michael Looked Back (Score:1, Funny)
beware of geeks boring gfs
Re:In Soviet Russia (Score:5, Funny)
"Except for the colonel of course, he always seems to get more than the normal process."
That's because some processes are more equal than others.
Re:And Michael Looked Back (Score:5, Funny)
It's not just nationalism. It's hubris. That has been a part of Russia's collective psyche for at least the past 100 years. They're not going to let anyone tell them what to do, and they balk at receiving help from anyone - it's a sign of weakness.
Russians are Klingons. They are belligerent and drunk all the time, use brute force whenever possible, would rather die that surrender. Yet somehow they are a spacefaring society that always ends up saving the day with their cargo ships and scrapped together heaps. It defies logic.
Re:And Michael Looked Back (Score:3, Funny)
Never, ever. (Score:5, Funny)