InfoWorld's Crystal Ball Predicts the Future of Microsoft

museumpeace writes "InfoWorld executive editor Galen Gruman has brainstormed five different scenarios for Microsoft in the coming decade and solicits the reader's vote on which is more likely. Does it tank? Does it go open source? Does it out-Google Google? Does Ballmer really fill Gates' shoes?"

more importantly:

[larry bagina]

does it blend?

Magic 8 Ball had this...

[Spazztastic]

The Magic 8 Ball has been on top of this for years... Outlook not good.

Crystal ball

[Anonymous Coward]

My cock and non-crystal balls predict the future of Micro$haft. Specifically, they predict that the cock will get hard and fuck beta testers I mean customers up the ass with no lubrication, meanwhile the non-crystal balls will be slapping against the customer's perineum due to this fucking motion. The customers won't like this, especially the no-lube part, but feel too committed to Micro$haft to switch and besides, all of these problems will be fixed Real Soon Now because the next version of Windoze is going to take care of EVERYTHING, they swear! While they're getting fucked up the ass, the Micro$haft customers will go on message boards and forums like this one and defend Micro$haft against any and all criticism, for free, since you know that'd be horrible if people on the Internet said bad things about them.

I can say with confidence

[not already in use]

2009 will be the year of the Windows desktop.

Re: Does Ballmer really fill Gate's shoes?

[Spazztastic]

Why no, not really.

Why do you ask?

His hands fit rather well on the legs of that chair though... *ducks*

Given the state of things

[Whuffo]

I'd say that the shark has been jumped already.

Re: Does Ballmer really fill Gate's shoes?

[UnknowingFool]

I, for one, am really glad there wasn't a "Death by snu-snu" option.

*Looks at Ballmer and Gates*

I will near complain about not having options again.

*shudders*

What they should do:

[Anonymous Coward]

Shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders.

Re:Magic 8 Ball had this...

[edalytical]

Reply hazy, try again. Just kidding without a doubt we get your point. I mean all signs point to yes, most likely the average /.er can get the point. Yes - definitely, it is certain and it is decidedly so. You may rely on it. At least, as I see it, yes.

Re: Does Ballmer really fill Gate's shoes?

[rvw]

His hands fit rather well on the legs of that chair though... *ducks*

I wonder where you'll end up when you duck while Ballmer is bending over a chair. I don't like the outlook to be clear. But word is he excels when it comes to chairs.

Re:My Crystal Ball Predicts...

[RiotingPacifist]

You mean I've only got 12 months to live? 2010 is the real year of the linux desktop as predicted by the Mayan calendar!

Jerry Seinfeld Commercials

[ProzacPatient]

"Does Ballmer really fill Gate's shoes?"

I don't know.. lets ask Jerry Seinfeld, he seems to be an expert on shoes!

Re: Does Ballmer really fill Gate's shoes?

[Ixitar]

I have heard a rumor that Microsoft is going to replace Windows with a new operating system code named Chair. I have not heard much in the ways of details, except that the new os has legs.

Re:more importantly:

[Endo13]

Some people even believe apples are things you eat!

my scenereo

[FudRucker]

the year is 2025, Microsoft and Apple went bust, filed chapter 11, then MS & Apple merged in to one company, OSWinXV is the OS and can only be installed on WinApple Hardware, and the bundle literally costs a bundle (about the price of a new luxury car) while all the rest of the world runs 95% Linux & BSD (mostly Linux) and a sprinkling of OpenSolaris, only the uber rich buy the MS/Apple with OSWinXV, (roman humerals for 15) and it does not do much other than surf the internet & email, and solitare, while all the real work and productivity is on the *Nixes...

Re:What happens to old software?

[dzfoo]

Don't knock AOL and their disc distribution strategy. It's because of people like you, complaining about it all the time, that I am right now two discs short of a complete 160-piece drink coaster set for entertaining guests.

          -dZ.

Re: Does Ballmer really fill Gate's shoes?

[iphayd]

Only if Steve Ballmer is running it, otherwise they coexist peacefully.

Re:my scenereo

[sznupi]

But what happens 12 years later? ;)