The State of R&D At HP, IBM, and Microsoft 107
jcatcw writes "Computerworld surveys the R&D efforts at HP, IBM and Microsoft ($17 billion annually) and raises the question: Are these companies supporting more long-term basic research, or just the usual short-term, product-oriented work? HP is consolidating its focus on a few 'big bet' projects in five major research areas — information explosion, dynamic cloud services, content transformation, intelligent infrastructure, and sustainability. IBM has four 'high-risk' basic research areas — nanotechnology, cloud computing, integrated systems and chip architecture, and managing business integrity through advanced math and computer science. Many of the 272 research projects named at Microsoft Research's Web site are structured with major product lines like Windows, Office, or Xbox in mind, but many also seem to have no likely application to anything the company sells today."
Cloud computing (Score:4, Funny)
Dear fucking god, my boss comes in at least once a week and asks me if our flagship app could run on cloud computing. Give me a gun and one bullet please.
Re:Cloud computing (Score:5, Funny)
Article fails to mention... (Score:4, Funny)
...that $35 million line item in Microsoft's budget that reads "EVIL (misc.)"
Dynamic Cloud Services? (Score:4, Funny)
Evidently, their lab's automated buzzword generating script is being tested.
Re:Cloud computing (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Dynamic Cloud Services? (Score:3, Funny)
Your sig is like grammar nazi kryptonite. Reading it felt like getting hit in the face with a fish four times.
I hope you mean for it to be funny, because if not...wow.
Re:Cloud computing (Score:5, Funny)
sure it is. it needs to be a really big bullet though and you need to super heat it before it hits the clouds. Fire it from space. The cloud will dissipate around it.
Re:Cloud computing (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Cloud computing (Score:3, Funny)
Dear fucking god, my boss comes in at least once a week and asks me if our flagship app could run on cloud computing. Give me a gun and one bullet please.
A bullet for you or your boss?
Re:Dynamic Cloud Services? (Score:2, Funny)
What sequence of events led you to getting hit in the face four times with a fish?
Re:Dynamic Cloud Services? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Dynamic Cloud Services? (Score:1, Funny)
Grammar nazi's are the WORST waste of human space there is online. It is about all idiots of that nature have to contribute, so their stupidity only manifests itself in that manner in their doing of it. Too bad they are useless unmotivated idiots that only just managed to learn to read evidently, because anyone with any worth realizes people do make spelling &/or grammar mistakes online, even if only occasionally. They are apparently the ones with the problem, because if anyone that reads any given statement online (not last wills & testaments or documents for legal purposes etc.) should be able to get the concept attempting to be conveyed simply by reading it & gaining its meaning via the context in which the words/phrases are used, pretty simple (for normal people that is, these morons do not count as such). If they are ADD or Dyslexia victims, this might be understandable, but that does not give them a license to criticize (especially those afflicted w/ those conditions). Also, I have yet to see one of these "spelling & grammar nazi's" online produce a PHD in English for example, OR proof they are a professional editor of others' writings & for years to decades. No, there is little doubt, that the people you mention (spelling & grammar nazis) are the worst idiots & underachievers there is online today. In short? They're assholes + idiots.
Re:Dynamic Cloud Services? (Score:5, Funny)
Grammar nazi's are the WORST waste of human space there is online.
That's "Nazis". HTH, HAND.
Re:Cloud computing (Score:5, Funny)
Dilbert (Score:2, Funny)
"So, what do you think of my program?"
"I wouldn't buy this."
"You wouldn't buy it, because it's designed for engineers."
"Engineers think the same as marketeers."
"If that were true, we would still be in caves wondering if rocks were edible."
"You know, you could keep recipes on this."
Re:Dynamic Cloud Services? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Microsoft R&D (Score:3, Funny)
That's amazing. I mean, someday that groundbreaking research might even enable multitouch on smartphones. That would be awesome!
Re:The nature of research (Score:3, Funny)
"Never mistake Success for Mission Accomplished" -- George W. Bush, private diary, November 8th, 2006.
Re:Cloud computing (Score:5, Funny)
That's easy, one day when he's out, connect wall current directly to the motherboard of his computer, Apply an etherkiller as well just to be complete.
Tell him you tested the app with cloud computing as he asked, but it was so powerful it turned into a thunderhead and nearly burned the building down. Luckily it grounded itself into his PC.
Tell him you'll be trying again soon, but need to requisition a few electricians to rewire the building first.
If he balks, come back in a couple days and tell him you've figured out how to do a small scale test. Have him order everyone in the office to hop on one foot over a rubber mat patting their heads and rubbing their bellies at the same time (to generate an intermittent ground wave of opposing static charge). Video tape his orders and the results, be sure to get his whacked out explanation to the staff.
Now, call mental health services and submit the video anonymously to his boss.
Bonus points if your story about the experiment magnetizing him and attracting cosmic rays actually convinces him he feels little pinpricks periodically. The random twitching and slapping himself should seal the deal.
Lather, rinse, repeat endlessly.