Microsoft Will Stream Ads To Grocery Carts

dptalia writes "Later this year, at ShopRite supermarkets in the eastern US, Microsoft will be rolling out computerized shopping carts. These carts will allow people with a ShopRite card to enter their shopping list on the ShopRite site from home, and then pull up the list on their grocery cart when they swipe their card. The new carts will also display advertisements depending on where in the supermarket the cart is, using RFID technology to help locate it."

obligatory

[sltd]

yeah, but will it run linux?

Baaaaahhaaah! Baaaahhh!

[seanadams.com]

I went to a Shell gas station a few months ago and they had 19" flat screen TVs above every pump, playing the news and running commercials at an ear piercing level. It was unbelievable. I left, and figured that was an idea that couldn't possibly last long. But lo and behold, just a few days ago I drove by and the damn place was PACKED with customers listening to that shit, half of them staring blankly at the telescreens because they can't stand for three damn minutes to be alone with their thoughts while their tank fills.

I thought the same thing about savings cards. YOU SAVED $18.43 MISTER LIVESTOCK! Surely people can not be this dumb, and this idea will fail... but no.

The vast majority of the population just eats this shit up. They actually read their junk mail. If it weren't for them you wouldn't get junk mail, because it wouldn't be worth mailing in the first place.

It is so sad. I do my part by avoiding these establishments, but I'm afraid it's not doing a damn bit of good.

If you don't like the ads...

[russotto]

...just pick the shopping card displaying the Blue Screen of Death.

Actually, given how shopping carts are treated (banged around the parking lot, slammed around by the cart-pushers, left in the rain, cleaned with a high-pressure hose), I suspect quite a few of these will be broken shortly after introduction.

what a great time to be homeless

[infonography]

Now you can have a shopping cart thats wired for the internet.

A cookie fo your cookies

[cygtoad]

Hmm... Just what I always wanted.
So the shopping cart will beg me to buy something as I go near it.
My daughter already does this for me. I am good.

Re:Fucking spammers

[MichaelSmith]

If these fucking things make the slightest bit of noise

With the volume up: Thank you for buying ansell condoms. People who purchased this product also bought...

A typical Ad

[Alexx K]

It looks like you want to buy a loaf of bread. Would you like some help?

Want to get the best out of your bread? Visit the Windows Wheat Live web site today!

Microsoft Shoppin Cart

[tristian_was_here]

"right I want a... WTF!!! my shopping cart has shutdown to prevent damage to my food?"

Re:Fucking spammers

[nacturation]

With the volume up: Thank you for buying ansell condoms. People who purchased this product also bought...

... diapers, usually after about a nine month delay.

Speaking of that, when I initially glanced at the title I thought it read "Microsoft Will Stream Ass to Grocery Carts". I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
 

As always, Douglas Adams had the foresight...

[GrahamCox]

Modern elevators are strange and complex entities. The ancient electric winch and "maximum-capacity-eight-persons" jobs bear as much relation to a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporter as a packet of mixed nuts does to the entire west wing of the Sirian State Mental Hospital.

This is because they operate on the curious principle of "defocused temporal perception". In other words they have the capacity to see dimly into the immediate future, which enables the elevator to be on the right floor to pick you up even before you knew you wanted it, thus eliminating all the tedious chatting, relaxing, and making friends that people were previously forced to do whist waiting for elevators.

About this time someone rediscovered an old patent for an ancient device called a "staircase" that let people simply walk from one floor to another, thus dispensing with the whole tedious need for elevators at all...

Quick, someone patent the paper and pencil shopping list!

Goody

[Robber Baron]

Oh goody. Now I finally have a real good use for all those hard drive magnets I've been collecting.

Re:obligatory

[Divebus]

Whole new application for the term "Crash Cart".

Grocery list

[4D6963]

Customers with a ShopRite loyalty card will be able to log into a Web site at home and type in their grocery lists; when they get to the store and swipe their card on the MediaCart console, the list will appear.

..will appear on the screen for all to see, yay! I can't wait until people take peeks at my grocery list on my hi-tech shopping cart.

-Strawberries.. Check
-Whipped cream.. Check
-Cucumbers.. Check
-Whiskey.. Check
-Vaseline.. Check
-Bullwhip.. Check
-Laxative suppositories.. Check
-Making people who read my grocery list look embarrassed.. Check

Re:It could be good!

[kilgortrout]

And then make it run linux and return it filled with tux images.

Re:Baaaaahhaaah! Baaaahhh!

[Anonymous Coward]

How the hell is that funny? It's depressing, that's what it is. The only consolation is that the shopping carts will probably be very hackable. I long to see the face of the attentive customer when he learns about goatse.

Re:Good Grief!

[Anonymous Coward]

They are a godsend for the stoned shopper! I can buy all kinds of weird and trippy food without having to deal with the checkout person.

Re:obligatory

[SpaceLifeForm]

You don't want it to run Linux.
Every BSOD rewards the shopper with free cart of groceries.
Shop early, shop often!
It's the new version of Supermarket Sweep [wikipedia.org]

It's Only a Matter of Time

[Vengance Daemon]

When we in Qwest's area call a telephone number that is busy, we don't get a busy signal, we get an advertisement for us to dial a code and the system will call us back when the other line is free. This complex and highly difficult process only costs 95 cents! I wonder when we will pick up the phone and hear a cheery voice selling something instead of a dial tone. Maybe each button on the phone could speak a product name rather than sound one of the tones: My number would be Pepsi Ford Ford - Prilosec Zantec Lunesta Zantec.

THANK YOU MICROSOFT!

[Anonymous Coward]

Finally, a way to get my shopping list from my home, to the grocery store! And so simple ...They only need a server farm, programmers, designers, authentication systems, back-end-code, tamper-proof hardware, service plans, contracts, and lawyers to pull it off! PURE GENIUS, MICROSOFT! No wonder Bill Gates is the world's richest man except for the Mexican guy.

OH OH OH WAIT A MINUTE... I just had a KILLER idea.

What if... there was a humorous "talking mascot" that guided me through the store? It could be based on something familiar to shoppers. Like, oh I dunno, the paper clip I use to hold my coupons together? YES! A talking paper clip would be AWESOME. I wonder what they would name him. "Clipper" maybe. Or "Clipton". Hmm.

Re:Oh, gawd...

[CodeBuster]

Of course, the possibilities for wide-screen above a row of urinals do come to mind, so they'll get you eventually if they haven't already

I doubt it, for the simple reason that it is easier for us men to "target" (if you get my drift) the source of our annoyance (unless they mounted it really high up on the wall) for immediate destruction via electrolytic liquid. That and women are probably less likely to completely trash the washroom, write on the screen with a grease pencil, or take any number of other destructive actions against the furnishings and fixtures.

Re:THANK GOODNESS!

[gaderael]

Did anybody else read this with George Carlin's voice in mind?

Re:obligatory

[ozmanjusri]

where are the BSOD jokes?

This is the one time a BSOD would be welcome, so it'll probably be the most stable MS app ever...

But seriously, what is it with Microsoft and this sort of repellent in-your-face crapware? Do they WANT to be seen as evil?

The History of Computing in a Nutshell

[His Shadow]

Apple gives us the iPhone.

Microsoft gives us an annoying shopping cart.

Obligitory "i block all ads" comment

[misleb]

As a subscriber you are probably not aware that /. has started inserting banner ads after some posts.

\

What? You mean the Internet STILL has ads!? I nearly forgot after running adblock plus for so long.

 

Re:In Shicago Re:Baaaaahhaaah! Baaaahhh!

[Fred_A]

Yeah, just what I need, to get assended by some wannabe housewife distracted from her cellie while herding her SUV down the freeway above the speed limit when she gets distracted by a moving video ad.

If housewives paid more attention to the afternoon soap on their SUV's TV instead of looking at the billboards, things like that wouldn't happen !

Re:obligatory

[monomania]

I'm waiting to see the one rolling down the street pushed by a homeless person. "Where do you want to go today?"

Re:obligatory

[Smidge204]

Hey look, 20% off on "Fatal Exceptions" and a 2-for-1 deal on "General Protection Faults" with cupon!

=Smidge=

Re:Oh, gawd...

[FireFury03]

for the simple reason that it is easier for us men to "target"

I remain unconvinced that I want to urinate on a plasma screen, given the voltage that they run at...

Re:My aren't you blowing high and mighty

[dwiget001]

I *always* sign up for those cards with false names and never fill in any of the other non-required data. I get the savings, they get the spending and buying habits of Mr. Han D'Jobbin, Dijrt Brown, Jack Mehup, etc. Everyone wins!

Re:obligatory

[Salsaman]

Just imagine...a Beowulf cluster of shopping carts !