Microsoft Patents Frustration-Detection System 223
I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Microsoft has patented a frustration-detection help system that would monitor your computer use and biometrics to figure out when you were frustrated. It could then offer to pair you up with someone else doing exactly the same thing who might be able to help you out. Interestingly, they don't appear to use speech recognition to detect abnormal levels of swear words, but that could be due to their past difficulties with speech recognition. 'Physical responses aren't the only things that could trigger this event--taking an abnormally long time to complete a task would do so also--but the biometric aspect is certainly the most unusual. Is this patent a harbinger of a dystopian future where computer users' biorhythms will be monitored to increase efficiency? Unlikely. The idea, which was birthed at Microsoft Research, is simply a more advanced version of user focus group testing that Microsoft (and most other software companies) have been doing for years now.'"
Go figure (Score:5, Funny)
Keyboard and Mouse
Xbox and games
Windows and this.
Clippy Says: (Score:5, Funny)
Would you like some help in getting back to work?
Re:Clippy Says: (Score:4, Funny)
Cancel or Allow?
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Re:Go figure (Score:4, Funny)
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Repeating banging of keys. Jerky movements of the mouse.
Actually, it probably won't work, because by the time someone is doing that, Windows has already crashed.
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Re:Go figure (Score:5, Funny)
Step 1 - Create buggy, frustrating software
Step 2 - Patent Frustration Detection!
Step 3 - Profit!
I have my own. (Score:3, Funny)
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Is the ACPI spec designed that way?
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For whatever reasons, some chipsets tie themselves to the Windows kernel, probably for some sort of extensions, like you said. Also, as that page shows, the bytecode checks that the operating system identifies itself as some ve
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Then some bytecode obtained by the microsoft compiler check this OS name object by its length, effectively meaning "it can't be any other OS so checking the number of letter is a rightfull way to determine which windows OS it is". btw, 27 letters is millenium iirc.
Bytecodes produced by the Intel compiler arent tied to the OS and are less error prones because they respect the spec.
So my first remark still hold, it is a microsoft tied (and tying) behavior
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It could then offer to pair you up with someone else doing exactly the same thing who might be able to help you out.
"We have another user attempting to use their CD tray as a coffee cup holder, would you like me to patch you through?"
"Unfortunately we have lost contact with all other users who have tried to delete the contents of their Windows folder - please hold"
Probably better to pair users up with someone who knows what they're actually doing, rather than creating little dumb-dumb molecules? I propose this new technology be named 'Dumb Squared'.
Re:I have my own / blue light (Score:2)
Simple Engineering Solution (Score:2)
This works for chairs too (Score:2)
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whatcouldpossiblygowrong (Score:5, Funny)
Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
HAL: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
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Pod Computer: "It looks like you're having difficulty dealing with a psychopathic computer Would you like to be put into contact with someone who has had success with this?"
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"...estimated ping time 1.25hrs, this could take a while.
It looks like you're frustrated by high ping times, would you like to be put into contact with someone who has had success with this? Confirmed. Now connecting...
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Yes well. (Score:2)
I can imagine it. You are doing something and a popup screen appears:
"You would like to copy a file. Would you like to continue? Yes/No."
Then another popup appears.
"You appear to be frustrated. Would you like to continue? Yes/No."
Think about it. With Vista, they'd have pretty much cornered the market.
So, Microsoft, by all means, patent away. This is one monopoly I'm happy to leave strictly to you.
Hey, guys (Score:4, Funny)
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In other news.... (Score:4, Funny)
Yeah, this will end well. (Score:5, Funny)
*pop*
Clippy: Hi! Looks like you're pretty pissed off!
User throws computer across the room.
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Clippy (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Clippy (Score:4, Funny)
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Hey now, guys, this is unrealistic (Score:2)
Re:Clippy (Score:4, Funny)
That requires admin access.
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Stacktrace:
exceptionHandler():29
frustrateUser():55
startGenericApp():23015
initWindows():15223
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10 minutes later.
"You appear to be calm. Windows must now be reactivated. Lets activate Windows!"
"It looks like you're feeling frustrated..."
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testing... (Score:2)
Prior Art (Score:2)
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Every Windows version has included this feature. The "Frustration Detected" value is set to "ON" on the installer by default. There's no known way to turn it off, so it's 100% accurate.
Actually, this was first implemented on the Mac circa 1995. As every DTP shop can attest, early Macintoshes had a sensor embedded in the mouse that detected operator frustration. As deadlines approached and the operator became more worked-up, the machines would promptly freeze up, presumably to give the operator some time to calm down.
Nothing new... (Score:3, Funny)
Law of Diminishing Returns? (Score:4, Insightful)
Instead of continually taxing silicon based computer on the desk, can't we leverage the carbon based computer on the other side of the keyboard?. What if, instead, the focus became on designing the operating system to be as un-obtrusive and intuitive as possible? Instead of contiually adding features to constantly second-guess the user, focus on developing well written documentation and training software.
My guess is the following would happen:
Gamers would love such a system because more resources are available for games
Multi-media users would love it for a similar reason
Businesses would love it because it's easily configured to do what they need
Engineers/Scientist would love it for all the reasons mentioned above
Home users would accept it provided the documentation is easy to understand and it supports whatever they need it to support.
I don't know....
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Seriously, what resources does the OS use when your running a fullscreen game? Maybe a little more RAM than is perhaps absolutely necessary? Is having, say, 256M more RAM available really going to make that much of a difference? What's that worth to the gamer? $15?
Why, exactly? What resources does "multi-media" really require that the OS is taking up unnecessarily? Again, it is
Yes, insert Vista comment here. (Score:2)
But Vista, yeah. I'd ignored it thus far til a girlfriend bought a new laptop over Christmas. Wow. If this is a finished product Microsoft really needs to rethink some things. Even when we manage to fix a problem - and every problem is described over and over in forums, but never seemingly with a reliable fix, just lots of
Twelve Years of Free Subjects (Score:2)
I can see the ads now (Score:2)
Two people? (Score:2)
What's the point of connecting two people who both yelling, "Bluescreen??? I was just about to save my work! Aaaggg!!!"
Obligatory AGK Reference... (Score:2)
Genius Idea... (Score:3, Insightful)
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Oh no, the program will have been launched in the frustratingly slow startup time as it gets started with all of the other stuff you have no idea what it does.
It will bog your CPU and leak memory along with the rest of them.
How els
They already produced prior art? (Score:2)
They patented a utility which detects when Windows is running? I thought they already did this courtesy Activation and Genuine Disadvantage?
Sure, and here's the source (Score:2)
else {while user.notFrustrated()) {
MessageBox.Show("Windows has determined you are not frustrated. We apologize for this and wish to return you to the Genuine Windows Experience(TM) you have come to expect.";
user.judgeFrustration();
}
}
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Lint warning line 5: Possible stack overflow.
Typical "bandaid" approach (Score:2, Insightful)
People can't figure your OS out because the menu commands keep moving into new menus with each release and the toolbar icons are too small to represent anything? Add context-sensitive help.
The context-sensitive help requires you to work through a clumsy twenty-step process to achieve something? Add "wizards" which force you through the twenty-step process, one slow, painful step at a time. (Converting Xerox Alto's "modeless" paradigm into a good old IBM 704 paradigm..
What they are attempting is not possible (Score:4, Insightful)
The kids were cranky this morning and wouldn't get dressed for school on time so you had to drive them. This made you late for your emergency 9:00AM meeting, at which your boss publicly dressed you down for not be conscientious enough. Of course he's stressed out (along with everyone else) because three of the five projects your group is late. He gives you the job of figuring out how to maximize the number of milestones we hit this quarter on the late projects.
You sit down at your PC with a cup of coffee, and take a deep breath. "I can only do the best I can with the situation I've been given," you tell yourself. "There is no sense worrying about trying to do the impossible."
So you start to crunch the numbers, and a wave of anger washes over you. Nobody could have made these work; some higher up decided he'd promise things he had no idea whether they could be done. That guy is going to blame your boss, and your boss is going to blame you. You're the one toiling sixty hours a week and neglecting your health and family obligations, and for middling pay because as a "professional" you are expected to work overtime for free. You'd quit except that your daughter has had leukemia (now in remission) and there is no way you could get her covered under new insurance.
"You seem to be having trouble with pivot tables," chimes in Mr. Clippy, "would you like to be put in contact with a user who isn't a useless piece of shit like you? Or shall I bring up the home page of the Jack Kevorkian Institute, which three out of five users in your situation find helpful?"
Therein lies the problem. You can't interpret biological stress markers without knowing the situation the person is experiencing. The answer to the problem of software that users can't use is to detect this in usability tests before you release it, not to make ill advised attempts to magically fix the problem. And note the implicit definition of the problem: the users don't know how to operate the software. This certainly is one way to define the problem, but another would be the software isn't easy enough for users to learn and/or use.
Why? (Score:2)
This is the most ironic patent ever... (Score:2)
Dr Emacs (Score:2)
self-fulfilling prophecy (Score:2)
To be honest I would find this 'feature' very frustrating in itself.
Its just apparently another way for Microsoft to shrug-off their bad UI designs and duties by putting it on the shoulders of other users instead.
Microsoft Patents Frustration-Detection System (Score:2)
What I want to know is how is this tool going to do me any good when my computer goes into its "reboot fifty times before XP comes up" mode?
This frustrated me so much I moved as many of my MP3s as would fit into the Linux side of the computer and changed the LILO default to Linux. After goobering with it a while I discovered that freeing space and defragging the C: drive (on HD0, AKA HDa and C:, which holds only the OSes and LILO, HD1 is Windows' D: drive a
I have a better idea (Score:2)
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The frustration prevention system is closely related to the DWIM (do what I mean) interface.
Excellent.... (Score:2)
Does it come with a condescending laugh track as well?
I guess hooking a pissed off user with another pissed off user would create an 'organized terrorist cell' that can then be taken out by the Govt. I suppose that's one way for M$ to remove folks who dislike their services.
what could possibly go wrong (Score:2)
taking an abnormally long time to complete a task
The system should use different weightings for laptops and desktops: Many times when I am using a subnotebook I do so while I am walking or eating outdoors. Some times if I get interrupted by something I close the lid and I continue what I was doing afterwards. So laptop users are likely to take longer to complete a task compared to desktop users.
Also, while I was still learning to type in dvorak I needed amazingly more time to type than before on my desktop (after I learnt it I type ok, but I still
Dear Aunt (Score:2)
Blah ... I was hoping for "We Share Your Pain" (Score:2)
"Microsoft Patents Frustration-Detection System" (Score:2)
Sounds really useful to alot of people (Score:2)
Computers are too dumb for this (Score:3, Insightful)
So let's get this straight. I'm the rational being, frustrated with this machine because it doesn't respond helpfully to my requests. So they want the computer to be able to recognize my frustration and... do what? Start working? Play soothing music?
If the thing is smart enough to know WHY I'm frustrated, it would be smart enough to fix the problem. More likely, it will guess wrong and frustrate me further. "Dangit, stop formatting this paragraph as a bulleted list," I say, and up pops Clippy. "I see that you're frustrated. Are you trying to make a bulleted list?" Cue explosion noises.
Also more likely is that the computer will waste computing power running its frustration-detection algorithm, bog down, and - surprise - frustrate the user.
Hey, how about just making computers that work better?
Popup dialog (Score:3, Funny)
In Related News (Score:4, Funny)
the question is... (Score:2)
Do they monitor the "advice volunteers" to see if they are really helping, or just giving bad advice to see how frustrated the newbies get?
I could see volunteering becoming a new time-waster in high-schools and workplaces.
How about fixing the real problem? (Score:3, Insightful)
So you don't need to read the patent .. (Score:2, Funny)
return frustration;
Instantanious quality feedback! (Score:2)
example of frustration (Score:2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4a1z7NLnNk [youtube.com]
Secret Discussion Between Microsoft Employees: (Score:2)
Employee #2: "Do you think that there is any way to make money off of that?"
January Fool (Score:2)
Makes sense... (Score:2)
WGA (Score:2)
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I found that after years of using windows and Linux that with OSX I was Over thinking things. The thing with OS X though is that you can do 90% of the tasks with just a mouse.(and spend $5 more and get a real three button mouse with a scroll wheel, the OS supports it and you can do so much more) Stop and think it out logically. to adjust firewall settings, Syste
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You are 50% Overrated and 50% Troll.
That's what you get for expressing an honest opinion that finds fault with Linux on
I use a Mac and have many (VMWare Fusion) VMs running all sorts of OSs under OS X 10.4.11 (inc. various XP and Vista).
Just installed the latest Ubuntu Desktop 7.10 and frankly, it's just a piece of shit. It was way, way better at 6.0.
That's the problem with geek-lead projects: no focus. Everyone just plays around and tinkers about with shit that's unimportant to the en
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I for one... (Score:2)
Clippy 2.0 will be great! (Score:2)
Can Clippy 2.0 also read other people's minds? This question seems very useful:
It looks like your girlfriend is getting disgusted by your porn collection and/or porn currently playing. Would you like me to replace it with good old-fashioned American girl-on-girl action?
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If (OS.Name.toString.split(" ")(0) == "Windows" && (OS.ActiveApp.Creator.toString.split(" ")(0) == "Microsoft" || OS.ActiveApp.ErrorCount > 2) {
return 1;
}
Can I have my PHD Now?
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Trivial implementation (Score:2)
Interestingly simple (but wholely effective) implementation!
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I'm no Microsoft fan, but I at least acknowledge they have one of the largest research departments [microsoft.com] in the software industry. Granted this particular piece of research is silly, but they mostly do decent work.
There's no shortage of legitimate complaints against Microsoft. No need to make shit up in the one area they do things right.
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