DOS 5 Upgrade Video

Every now and then I stumble on something so ridiculous that I have to share it. This is a promotion video to upgrade to DOS 5 obviously made in a different era. Promoting features like mouse support, a graphical shell, and freeing up at LEAST 45k of memory, well, Gimme 5! Did I mention that it's all set to a hip beat? You'll love it. And by "Love" I mean "Stick forks in your eyes".

Re:News?

[Xiaran]

I *will* make my own site. With Blackjack! And Hookers! In fact. Forget the site.

The marketing geniuses...

[catdevnull]

The marketing geniuses who brought you this video live on in Redmond. Who else would design a brown media player and name it "Zune?"

Re:Fail

[Pope]

Epic Retry?

Forget Vista!

[Billosaur]

Can I downgrade to DOS 5 instead? Why, the productivity gains alone would be worth it! And I suspect it's not nearly as bloated as Vista.

Re:The marketing geniuses...

[metlin]

And have it squirt?

Oh yeah, baby. Squirt your brown Zune for me.

The Windows 386 Promo Video is better.

[Joe The Dragon]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4915875929930836239 [google.com]

Gah

[Anonymous Coward]

I watched it.
I hate you now.
Happy?

Re:The marketing geniuses...

[Applekid]

Surely those on the Zune marketing team aren't holdovers from the DOS 5 days, right?

Can't watch it at work, but is it any more hallucinogenic than this Windows/386 promo video [google.com]?

I love the fact that...

[Ransak]

... the artist is "YO! MS Raps".

Re:Back when people could actually code..

[lucifig]

I know it, back in my day we coded by punching holes in little cards! In the snow! And we loved it!

Re:Fail

[Anonymous Coward]

Epic Ignore!

Re:News?

[Anonymous Coward]

Do you always take your dick off before you offer a rebuttal?

Taco

[slapout]

"Every now and then I stumble on something so ridiculous that I have to share it."

Nah, too easy.

A couple of things

[Nero Nimbus]

1. I'm sure the little animation of the hammer smashing the computer has actually played out in millions of households since the release of that video. 2. Those girls are probably still asking, "Would you like fries with that?" to this day.

Tough love indeed.

[Farmer Tim]

And by "Love" I mean "Stick forks in your eyes".

Oh great, I can still hear it, but now I can't find the close window button. You bastard!

oww.. my eyes.... my eyes....

[p14-lda]

Seriously... that is how they beat OS2.... IBM... if you couldn't beat that you deserved not to win the OS battle.

Brown is the kiss of DEATH

[Dr_Barnowl]

My wife's laptop drive died recently.

After replacing it, I couldn't find her XP disk, so I just installed Ubuntu on it.

Her first response on logging in?

"This is crap, it's brown."

I know this!

[porkThreeWays]

My parents told me about this. They called them "sucka MC's".

Memories

[Selfbain]

Ahh, the memories. The horrible, horrible memories. Excuse me while I crawl under my desk, rock back and forth and weep softly.

How About Piracy?

[Tiger4]

The big news will be when MS goes after the video poster for pirating its Intellectual Property. DOS 5 sales have plummeted worldwide, and displaying this video is clearly a contributing factor. I'm surprised they haven't triggered GPFs on any Windows box attempting to play it.

Re:Back when people could actually code..

[Opportunist]

And uphills! Both ways, to and from work, too! And we didn't have those fancy things called shoes, today you wouldn't go into a server room without your boots, we went in there barefooted. And did it harm us? When we wanted to know if a computer is on, we had to touch its wire, no fancy flashing lights and all the other goodies you have today! When the modem died, I had to sit there for hours and whistle in 300 baud what was on the screen! Yes, 300 baud, and we were GLAD we had that kinda speed! And no fancy debuggers either, we just watched the code fly by and we knew EXACTLY what it did. Wasn't that hard when your whole code has to fit into less than what you got as cache on your CPU today. Oh, and there was only ONE program running at a time, and you had to wait for yours to run. What do you mean "on my machine"? You didn't have one, there was ONE machine for the company, and it was in the basement. Rather, it WAS the basement! When it was cold, and it was often cold because we couldn't afford heating EITHER, that was just after the war, remember, we had NOTHING (ok, except kickass expensive computers)... where was I? Right, when it was cold, we'd huddle together between the tubes (no, Timmy, not the Tubes of the Senator, that Senator didn't exist... ok, he did, but at least he kept his yap shut back then) to stay warm.

Hey. HEY! Where d'ya think you're going? (muttermutter) Spoiled brat...

Re:Hey, DOS 5 was cool

[ArsonSmith]

Ha, They didn't have a snappy beat and rhyming video.

Getting out of hand

[fishthegeek]

I've written a blog that will surely make the front page of Slashdot. It is titled:

Top ten list of things that Ron Paul said about Apple products while typing on a Linux computer at an Anti-Iraq war conference.

The reason I don't read Digg often is that I want real, biased, geeky, obscure fact riddled news commented on by opinionated sysadmins!

Re:Brown is the kiss of DEATH

[garett_spencley]

First thing my wife did after I set up Ubuntu was go searching her old Windows drive for a background image to replace the default. She eventually settled on a Sailor Moon background and began exclaiming loudly "I am not a geek!" over and over. :/

poor bastard

[Ralph Spoilsport]

Imagine being an actor and having THAT on your demo reel.

HA!

You would never work again...

RS

Re:Back when people could actually code..

[Wylfing]

Get offa ma lawn!

(sigh)

[ribuck]

I suppose I'd better upgrade then. I could do with that extra 45kB of memory.

Re:News?

[lpangelrob]

It was also the death knell for Stak Electronics with the release of DriveSpace in 5.

Heh. And DriveSpace was the death knell for my 500 MB hard drive when I was poking around in DOSShell...

What is this 478 MB file doing on my F drive? I need to get rid of it. <reboot> Oh crap...

MSDOS 5

[JWSmythe]

That was just cruel. Cruel to the poor schmucks who were in the videos. Cruel to us who watched even a small part of it.. I can feel my brain bleeding...

    Lets hope that isn't the song that's going to get stuck in my head for the rest of the day..

    (Gimme 5, whoo, gimme 5, whooo)

    Oh god.

Well worth watching !

[Anonymous Coward]

From the metadata :

"Boring until the 7 minute mark when the production is taken over by crack-smoking monkeys"

Dude in the tie...

[Wiseazz]

Why is Bob Saget in DOS training?

RTFM, Bob.

Re:News?

[dintech]

I do not own my mom, but she is still my mom.

Your loss is my gain dude!

Please!

[alexandre]

Kill me! Now! ahhhh! my eyes!

Re:Brown is the kiss of DEATH

[dintech]

All this talk of women. You know this is slashdot, not dos 5 fan fiction.

Re:Brandless? No MS

[KillerBob]

Oh yeah? Well I have a set of DOS 5 diskettes in my bin at work that people actually BORROW and USE for things.

Hey Ritchie... we forgot our frisbee at home again and have nothing to do for lunch break. Can I borrow that disk again?

You laugh. But those 5.25" disks really can fly. It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

Re:News?

[catbutt]

Yes, they should, but they should also be able to say that the complaining comment was lame. However, I draw the line at complaining about a complaining comment. That's just taking the whole free speach thing too far.

Re:News?

[SEE]

How is this news? /. does not equal Digg.

Dear Mr. 7-digit UID:

New around here, aren't you?

Re:Back when people could actually code..

[Just Some Guy]

I'm certain that someone of my Dad's generation who wrote software in the olden days (1960s/70s/80s)

I'm not that old, son. And your mother and I were wondering if you'd given any more thought to finding your own place.

Re:Hey, DOS 5 was cool

[WilliamSChips]

Dude, World War Six sucked.

Re:Brown is the kiss of DEATH

[AragornSonOfArathorn]

Just be thankful the startup sound isn't the Brown Noise.

Re:News?

[Ash Vince]

Your both just pair of old jaded slashdot wrinklies.

Do you sit around in virtual rocking chairs of virtual porches slagging off these damn kids?

No need to buy it

[stud9920]

I'll just Copy that floppy [youtube.com]