Breakdown Forces New Look At Mars Mission Sexuality

FloatsomNJetsom writes "Popular Mechanics has up an interesting story, discussing what the long-term implications of the Lisa Nowak incident could mean for Mars Mission crew decisions: With a 30-month roundtrip, that isn't the sort of thing you'd want to happen in space. Scientists have been warning about the problems of sex on long-term spaceflight, and experts are divided as to whether you want a crew of older married couples, or asexual unitard-wearing eunuchs. The point the article makes specifically is that NASA's current archetype of highly-driven, task-oriented people might be precisely the wrong type for a Mars expedition. In addition scientists may use genomics or even functional MRI in screening astronauts, in addition to facial-recognition computers to monitor mental health during the mission." Maybe observers could just deploy the brain scanner to keep track of them?

Movie deal

[j00r0m4nc3r]

a-sexual unitard-wearing eunuchs

I think scenario has much better movie possibilities.

*Chuckle*

[MyLongNickName]

Let's have Slashdot solve a problem revolving around human sexual relationships. I can't think of three words more "anti-slashdot" than that ;)

Simple

[markov_chain]

Recruit the astronauts from among the slashdot readers. They won't have a problem going a couple of years without sex. You can't miss what you don't know!

There are sexy missionaries on Mars?

[Timesprout]

Why was I not informed of this earlier? Suddenly I feel the need to go and preach to the heathen martians.

Re:Movie deal

[thisIsNotMyName]

I suggest this story be tagged with as 'spaceballs'.

polar opposite

[Gary W. Longsine]

"NASA's current archetype of highly-driven, task-oriented people might be precisely the wrong type for a Mars expedition"

OK, the opposite of this would be laid-back herb-toking free-love hippies. While it's true that such folk will be disinclined to kill each other in a jealous rage, but they are also not likely to be inclined to get into a tin can with no weed for three years and walk around on Mars collecting rocks they won't even get to keep or sell on EBay.

Ensuring 30 months with no sex?

[blankoboy]

Just pile some PC's onboard preloaded with WOW. This will 100% ensure that no sex will take place. Other side effects include 0 mission objectives accomplished though. They would land at their destination and never get out of the ship. =)

Nerds in space

[Blade80]

Put us nerds up there.

Rejected on earth and now in space....

Re:"Rum, sodomy, and the lash"

[Timesprout]

Homosexual acts between otherwise "heterosexual" red-bloodeed Jack Tars became quite normal.

Ah this helps explain Captain Jack Sparrows accent.

Re:Submariners

[MyLongNickName]

Then I suggest an all female crew, plus me... as ... um... an independent observer. Yeah, that's it.

Big brother...

[pubjames]

They should treat it like Big Brother (is that shown in the USA? It's a "reality" show) and deliberately choose people who they know are going to have problems, then put a camera in there and broadcast it live. They would make a fortune. And voting for who is going to get "thrown out" would be even more fun as the consequences of that would be rather dramatic. Sounds like great TV to me!

Lisa Nowak Implications

[Timesprout]

Female Astronaut : Oh god I am so hot, I need it right now
Male Astronaut : Oh yeah baby
Female Astronaut : Come here and rip my nappy off with your teeth!
Male Astronaut : er, em is that the asteroid impact alarm? I better go check.

Re:The Navy

[Anonymous Coward]

200 drunk pirates at sea for 9 months + 1 woman on board = single mother.

Re:Movie deal

[Zabu]

a-sexual unitard-wearing eunuchs

does anyone else have the feeling that half of Slashdot will be spending most of their weekends writing resume's and cover letters to NASA.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:*Chuckle*

[Xzzy]

Based on the article ('socially adept introverts' and 'high toleration for lack of achievement'), I'd think Slashdot is an excellent screening tool for finding people suitable for a Mars mission.

Re:*Chuckle*

[Anonymous Coward]

I can... "Happy Valentine's day"

The solution is obvious...

[gentlemen_loser]

... Send up a crew of ./ers with enough copies of the Burning Crusade to go around. Should clear up all problems.

Re:Submariners

[Riverman5]

hahahahahaha, now there's a mission killer. Rum in outer space. "Shriiiiit there is vomit in the CO2 schrubber! What we do!"

Re:Spaceballs

[Anonymous Coward]

"I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature."

Re:Maybe...

[FireFlie]

Or to send only girls..... and a webcam.

Re:Spaceballs

[Doc Ruby]

Where you're going, along with NASA, apparently, is a crew of grandmas past menopause. But we might not have the tech to maintain cabin environment integrity with all those cats.

And the video licensing revenue is substantially smaller.

Re:Submariners

[Gerocrack]

I saw that one on cinemax, I think

Re:Simple

[crimson30]

Recruit the astronauts from among the slashdot readers. They won't have a problem going a couple of years without sex. You can't miss what you don't know!

A couple? I'm working on a full decade!

Re:Maybe...

[Stickerboy]

>Or to send only girls..... and a webcam.

I think you just solved NASA's chronic funding shortages! Brilllliant!

Re:Submariners

[Anonymous Coward]

Submarines leave port with 100 men and return with 50 couples.

Re:Monitoring them will not work

[Blue Stone]

>...they had a solution to certain problems that you can't have in a space ship. You can't put discontents on an island in the fashion of Robinson Cruscoe, or set them adrift in a boat like Captain Bligh was.

They have a solution...

They call it an 'Air Lock'.

Re:*Chuckle*

[ozbird]

"Asexual 'tards running Unix" - isn't that the Slashdot stereotype? *ducks*

Re:Submariners

[ozbird]

They only need to look as far as the crew on a submarine to see what makeup can last a year.

Waterproof makeup, presumably... ("You've seen the Kiss Army, now join the Kiss Navy and see the world!")

You mis-spelled "inept"

[StressGuy]

Well....there goes my karma....

Re:Movie deal

[greyhill]

Or the Mars trilogy. Beginning to end, sex sex sex. :) Reminds me of Thank your for Smoking's plot for cigarettes and sex in space.

Re:Monitoring them will not work

[crabpeople]

"I say that whoever is going to go on this mission needs to be a complete introvert who does not need constant human interaction and can while away their time on experiments and reading"

Like say, a wow player? Just give them bandwidth and the time would disappear, sort of like suspended animation. The only problem would be co ordinating launch windows with their raiding schedule.

Re:Submariners

[Anonymous Coward]

(Nights are Long in Antartica, and pregnancy is Not An Option.)
Why not? If a night is six months it would take about 548 years before the child is born. What kind of mission takes that long?

Re:Monitoring them will not work

[mdm-adph]

you do realize that after about a million miles or so, even they'd go nuts after their ping goes up to like 20 000. :P

Re:Help, not screen

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope your mother rots in hell. She is/was a feminist/pro-women's rights women. If I ever gain power I will work to free your Dad however (will need info if/when that happens). BTW Notice how your Dad got convicted with no evidence? The USA hates men, it is a woman's cuntry.

Re:Submariners

[Anonymous Coward]

(Nights are Long in Antartica, and pregnancy is Not An Option.) Why not? If a night is six months it would take about 548 years before the child is born. What kind of mission takes that long?

True, true. But try to run in the middle of that long and cold Antarctic winter night to solve the cravings for strawberry pie with peanut butter!

Re:Help, not screen

[myowntrueself]

The court system isn't fun for anyone....the victim, the criminal, their families.

Oh I don't know.

Judge Judys court is downright hilarious!