Bruce Sterling's Final Prediction

In Bruce Sterling's final column for Wired, he summarizes the output of a survey of Net prognosticators conducted by the Pew Internet & American Life Project. The piece is peppered with Sterling's trademarked stop-you-in-your-tracks imagery. An example: "The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders."

Batshit Insane

[19thNervousBreakdown]

"The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders."

This metaphor is a can of Pringles, and its vigor is enhanced by venomous ducks that flip it daily with a caterpillar that just won't shut up.

Seriously... what?

A Question In Parting

[Giant Ape Skeleton]

That column leaves me with one question for Bruce:

Who is your meth dealer, and does he make house calls?

Re:A Question In Parting

[jrwr00]

I don't even think meth can fuck you up that badly

The synopsis holds true...

[PingSpike]

Most people do stop in their tracks when they suffer an unstoppable urge to vomit.

English 2.0

[dintech]

The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders.

I think he's using that new-fangled English 2.0 thingy.

Re:Batshit Insane

[Ed Avis]

Come back Jon Katz! We miss you!

Somewhere out there

[CaffeineAddict2001]

"The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders..."

William Gibson and Chuck Palahniuk are saying to themselves: "Oh god, *I* don't sound like that, do I?"

Re:Batshit Insane

[Zen]

Nah, wrong genre. It was music, and it was "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" (KT Tunstall)

Prediction not in TFA

[DaveCar]

In the future, "Wired" will not suck.

I think I still have some early vintage copies from when it first got published in the UK (~1995?). Any takers?

No, thought not.

Re:Batshit Insane

[Dun Malg]

THe orchard-lexus metaphor is one of many literary constructs in its time-honored genre:

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."
-- Jack Handey

"Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come."
-- Matt Groening

Unfortunately, I don't think Mr Sterling was trying to be funny.

Bad Metaphor

[superid]

A bad metaphor is like a leaky screwdriver.

(shamelessly stolen from someone's /. sig)

Re:Batshit Insane

[morgan_greywolf]

Yet, it still doesn't. The book centers around the Lexus -- globalization -- and the olive tree -- tradition. I don't see how the Internet as it is today has anything to do with the collision of the Lexus and the olive tree. In my mind, the Internet is a $70,000 4.7L V8-powered 4WD Lexus LX SUV mowing down the entire olive tree orchard, while the trees scream in protest. Either that it's just a bunch of tubes, I haven't figured out which...

Re:Batshit Insane

[NDPTAL85]

The only alternatives promote nothing but misery. So if someone prefers misery as opposed to prosperity then yes I guess you are right. No issue ever has 100% agreement afterall.