Opening Zune Sales Flaccid

An anonymous reader writes "As 'Black Friday' approaches and consumers line up for the Playstation 3 it looks like Zune has become an afterthought. Despite months of hype, opening Zune sales are only so-so. While Zune did reach the top 10 on Amazon's Top 25 list for electronic product sales on its first day, it quickly fell below the top 15 and continues to drop. Six separate iPod models now outsell it as well as SanDisk's e250 player. In-store sales are not much better."

Welcome to the social?

[LostCluster]

Hello from Seattle. Hello? Anybody here?

First pun!

[neuro.slug]

Let's hope this product is zune to be forgotten!

/me ducks barrage of tomatoes

Soooo....

[Anubis350]

Just goes to show, Apple knows hard and black is the way to go!

Flaccid?

[smartin]

You mean Micro and Soft?

Battle Hymn of the Republic, re-updated

[Ninjaesque One]

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Zune;
It is trampling out the storage where the Costless Tunes are store'd,
It hath loosed the flaccid lighting of its terrible short release;
Its songs are marching out.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Its songs are marching out!

I have seen it in the watch-fires of a hundred wary bands!
They have builded it an altar in the circling doom and damp;
I can read its righteous screen by the dim and flaring lamps;
Its songs are marching out.

(chorus)

I have read a fiery gospel written in burnished rows of plastic;
"As you deal with my develop'rs, so with you my grace will deal,"
Let the Ballmer, born of spittle, kill the serpent with a chair;
The Zune is marching out.

(chorus)

In the beauty of the birch, Linus was born across the sea;
With a glory in his boxen that transfigures you and me;
As he hacked to make boxes holy, let us code to make Windows free;
While the Zune is marching out.

(chorus)

It is coming like the glory of the storm upon the farm-er,
It is Horror to the drummer, it is Destruc'shn to the bass,
So the world shall be its crypt, and the soul of Jobs its David;
The Zune is marching on.

(chorus)

(if you're wondering why it's re-updated, go look at this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Battle_Hymn_of_th e_Republic%2C_Updated [wikipedia.org]

MS Marketing "pulled a brown Zune"

[hmbcarol]

The work "Zune" may enter the lexicon as a word akin to Edsel or Pinto.

I heard a guy at work yesterday mentioning Sony's battery recall and commenting they "pulled a brown Zune" in terms of their marketing failure to deal with the problem correctly. (Brown being the least popular color for the Zune).

Think of the uses... "The Republicans got handed a Zune in the last election".

Re:Palm, anyone?

[Knuckles]

Where are PDAs? Haven't seen one in ages.

Re:First pun!

[dangitman]

The second-generation zune will come in a new color, Golden Shower, which is sure to be much more popular with fans of watersports. New catchphrase: Do I Hear Rain?

Hurrah! Apple's near-monopoly is secure!

[Anonymous Coward]

Remember kids, when Microsoft has a monopoly, that's bad, but when Apple has one, it's good!

The Zune is flaccid?

[Slithe]

So I take it nobody's done any squirting yet?

Between the title and company name

[Fuzzball963]

I'd say flaccid is a good way of describing Microsoft ;).

Just needs to be marketed better

[microcars]

case in point: The Pet Rock

Who would buy a Rock for a Pet? yet....it happened.
There is a whole untapped market of gifts that are "not nice". I mean, what do you get someone in the family when you HAVE to get them a present, but you don't like them?

Perhaps they could do a tie-in with those new "LearnAboutCoal.org" commercials and throw Santa in there too.

SANTA: "Well, lets see little Johnny has been very Naughty this year, so he gets a lump of coal!"

Johnny: "Well at least I can burn this and keep warm for a few minutes"

SANTA: "And little Bobby has been especially naughty so he gets a Zune!"

Bobby: "Whaaaa!!!......."

[end tag]: UPS voiceover: "What can Brown do for YOU?"

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Two things...

[93 Escort Wagon]

Despite months of hype

Maybe it's because I own a Tivo, but... what hype? I haven't seen anything on TV, in magazines, on buses, etc.

And regarding the title of this thread, "Opening Zune Sales Flaccid" - do the editors' entire existences revolve around thoughts of sexual inadequacy? That's one of the silliest sentences I've seen put together anywhere. It's pathetic even by Slashdot's juvenile standards.

Re:this product... not so much

[Anonymous Coward]

You (and Jobs) have hit the nail on the head but then Jobs is someone who had actually had relationships with members of the opposite sex, he didn't have to jump some company goldigging bimbo and briber her with $billion to have sex.

It must really eat Gates up, no matter how much $$$ he has he is still a loser.

Well, at least...

[Ringthane]

it'll be a big hit on Woot!

Re:First pun!

[bitt3n]

Opening Zune Sales Flaccid

there goes their chance to penetrate the market.

Re:this product... not so much

[dangitman]

The one problem I can see with that is the transmission of ear infections.

Like Phil Collins, for example?

Re:Did you miss the title?

[schtum]

It's not wrong at all. They're pointing out Microsoft's failure to rise to the occasion in the face of stiff competition.

Re:here's the thing...

[Fear the Clam]

The really frustrating thing about the Zune is that it is essentially a terrific product.

Dude, it's fucking brown.

Re:Welcome to the social?

[Korin43]

I guess their whole "Let's not let anyone know anything about the Zune" campaign worked too well..

Re:Did you miss the title?

[smittyoneeach]

We can get a littler closer to Carlin with this one:
Redomond's flaccid sales have thus far failed to prick a hole in the stiff market-share erected by those Cupertino pricks.

Re:Origami?

[Anonymous Coward]

It folded.

Re:this product... not so much

[Elbowgeek]

This calls to mind an interview with Gates on Letterman, in the mid-late 90s after Gates finally acknowledged that just maybe the Internet was going to be the future. He was extolling the wonderful things the 'Net could do for us: provide news, sports coverage, weather and music streaming. Letterman shot back that he could do that now: "It's called a radio." It brought peels of laughter from the audience and threw Gates completely off his game. Brilliant.