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The 20 Worst Games Ever 218

Posted by Zonk
from the for-real dept.
EGM's Seanbaby has a 'director's cut' of a list of the top 20 worst videogames, a list published in the 150th issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly earlier this year. While some top lists may claim authority, this one is the real deal: these games are utter crap. From the article: "#10: Revolution X (SNES) This game is biblically horrific. You're overthrowing an oppressive world order. With Aerosmith. And music is your weapon. That scream of terror you just heard was probably you. Using your weapon, music, you'll fight a massive army of soldiers sent by the government to keep you from rocking. And since the artists were lazy, the army is made up entirely of a man in a yellow jacket and his several thousand identical twins."
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The 20 Worst Games Ever

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  • Re:The list (Score:3, Insightful)

    by bazmail (764941) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:00AM (#16535266)
    You retard, The whole point of the article is not to produce a definitive list, but to entertain.

    You have failed.
  • Re:The list (Score:5, Insightful)

    by suv4x4 (956391) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:03AM (#16535278)
    Bypass the link:

    20: Extreme Sports With the Berenstein Bears
    19: Bible Adventures
    18: Kriss Kross: Make My Video
    17: Bubsy 3D ...


    Good way to get some karma, but the point of the article is that it's funny to read. The list is totally not interesing, as the games were chosen and ordered apparently randomly (you could say they're just 20 terrible games of probably a thousand terrible games).
  • by NexFlamma (919608) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:10AM (#16535306) Homepage
    To show you just how old this new story is, it was originally published on Seanbaby's site [seanbaby.com] before Ultima 9 came out, hence why it's not on the list.

    Does it even qualify as news if it's that old?
  • OLD (Score:4, Insightful)

    by jb.hl.com (782137) <joe@joe-baldwi[ ]et ['n.n' in gap]> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:19AM (#16535350) Homepage Journal
    I propose we give Sunday on Slashdot a new name. Something like "We've run out of things to post, so here's some old stuff" day.

    Jesus christ, if you don't have anything remotely new or interesting to post, don't post anything.
  • Re:The list (Score:4, Insightful)

    by donaldm (919619) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:44AM (#16535494)
    Never played any of them and never will.

    I have have always said that a good game to some may be a crap game to another and vice versa. To really rate games you need to stick to groups (ie. FPS, RPG, platformer, adventure .... etc) and if the game is for the PC and/or console and not try to lump them all into one heap. Of course you end up with a book instead of a few pages and even then some people will disagree with you.

    Like it or not sales can help better than someones comments, however when you are first or near first to market (I think "Night Trap" falls into this) then people will buy it even though they find out later it stinks and the company cries all the way to the bank. When this game came out the Internet was young and not many people had access to it so the only ratings for a game was to ask the retailer and you can imagine what they would say or wait till the monthly gaming magazine came out (assuming it rated the game). This does not happen as much now although for any purchase it still is "Caveat Emptor" (Latin for "Buyer Beware").

    Still the article was light reading and was fairly humorous in its descriptions (condemnations) of the games.
  • This list is awful (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 22, 2006 @07:26AM (#16535720)
    This list is one the worst I've read. The author just lists games out of his ass, and he is not even coherent with his previous list about "Worst 20 NES videogames", so you find that some NES videogames that scored less on that list scored more on this, and the supposedly worst (Deadly Towers) is missing on this list. What the...?

    Suggestion: Avoid reading. Leave game trashing to professionals.
  • Just not funny (Score:1, Insightful)

    by MicrosoftRepresentit (1002310) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @07:28AM (#16535728)
    It might also have been more readable if Seanbaby wasn't a complete cretin. Look at me complain using all the grown up swear words I know! Look at the completely unfunny and desperately strained metaphors I conjure up! Look how I write with scathing, biting cynicism! No you don't, you're an unfunny twat who sounds like a twelve year old completely failing to emulate the Filthy Critic.
  • by Kjella (173770) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @07:39AM (#16535782) Homepage
    Hmmm. Nobody seemed to mention Ultima IX, a terribly bug-ridden game (...) Wow, why didn't anyone mention that?

    Well, because there's hundreds if not thousands of games worse than Ultima IX. "Worst game" is silly because the worst games simply wouldn't spread very far - I haven't played a single game on their "bottom 20" list. What they're looking for is really "High-profile games that flopped miserably".

    It's sort of the same as "best game" categories, I would place classics as "Dune 2" and "Civilization" on it, not because I think they're better than recent RTS or TBS games, but because they were so dominant back then (I might be showing my age here...)
  • by Xian97 (714198) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @08:22AM (#16536002)
    In contrast, the review of Neverend at Just Adventure's website http://www.justadventure.com/reviews/Neverend/Neve rend.shtm [justadventure.com] rates it as an A-. I think many of the Gamespot reviewers are given games to review in genres that they don't like and it is hard to write an objective review. Gamespot in particular always seems to give adventure games a bad review with only 2 games in the genre getting a rating over 8 in the past few years, and not since Syberia in 2002 has there been a rating over 9.

    I haven't played the game myself, but I just thought it a stark contrast that the site where people enjoy adventure games rates it very high and a site where the reviewers are more generalized pan it.
  • by Pharmboy (216950) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @09:15AM (#16536290) Journal
    This is why I wish there was some kind of moderation that all users could do on stories published here. Not digg style (ugg... don't get me started...) but a way for users to tell the editors here that the story sucked and was a waste of time. I am amazed at some of garbage that has made the front page over the last month. It WAS getting better here, but now I wonder.

    Something being "interesting" to one of the editors here is not the same as it being "news". I don't come here to read old, rehashed garbage from 1998. Well, I don't on PURPOSE.
  • Worst Website? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by KDR_11k (778916) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @10:21AM (#16536722)
    I nominate this for a pretty high ranking in the Worst Websites Outside Of Myspace list. Seriously, I had to turn off the CSS to avoid eyebleed and my system is already blocking GIFs and Flash, I don't even want to know what this would look like to some poor IE user.
  • by Blakey Rat (99501) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @11:18AM (#16537182)
    Diakatana isn't THAT bad a game. Honestly, I've played much worse than just didn't happen to get the publicity... even picking a FPS that came out around the same time, IronStorm (I think was the name) was a total piece of crap. If you expand to RPGs, "Wizards and Warriors" came out in like 2001 without the capability of running in Windows 2000 and no 3D acceleration support at all. (And yes, it was a 3D game.) It was also buggy as crap... I think I got about halfway through before getting stopped by a huge game-ending bug.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 22, 2006 @12:30PM (#16537618)
    Ahh, take a pill already. Gay is funny, gay slang is funny, homophobic phrases are funny too. Deal with it. The gay community has to learn to take it like every other sect of people. Trying to be all high and mighty, like this shit offends you, doesn't make you get into heaven any quicker. So you might as well just laugh with the rest of us demented fucks....ass-pirate.
  • Re:OLD (Score:4, Insightful)

    by WilliamSChips (793741) <full@infinity.gmail@com> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @12:32PM (#16537634) Journal
    Jesus christ, if you don't have anything remotely new or interesting to post, don't post anything.
    This quote applies double to the people whining about Slashdot.
  • by gravis777 (123605) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @01:30PM (#16538032)
    This is the most pathetic article I have ever read. Other than being horribly offended by the language of the article, it read mostly like it was written by some teenage kid on his blog. While I must agree with his game picks, I feel that he was overly harsh in many areas, especially graphics. The Kriss Kross game and the Zelda game made early use of video compression capabilities, and especially with the Kriss Kross game, the idea that you are mixing videos, real-time, on the fly, on hardware the likes of the Sega CD, limited to 64 colors being able to be displayed at one time, was quite a technological marvel. Several of the games he mentioned had sucky graphics not because of poor design, but because of limitations of the NES and the Gameboy color. Actually, from the screenshots he posted of stuff like Bubsy, Kriss Kross, Barensteen Bears, Total Recal, and so forth, the graphics were on par with other games of the same genera on the same platform. Shoot, even ET, with as AWFUL as that game was, had graphics that were on par with other Atari 2600 titles.

    While I must admit that all of these games sucked, the reasons given in the article were not good. It looks like games were picked at random, I mean, with the exception of ET, I can think of many other games that should be on this list instead. I would much rather be forced to play Bubsy than that horrible Home Alone game for the SNES, Galaga 13 and Michael Jackson's Moonwalker could be put in the same category as Total Recal, and I cannot believe that not a single Barbie game made the list. And what about those games that were released that were so buggy that they could not be played? Three Dirty Drarfs for the Sega Saturn actually CRASHED on me every time I get to a certain point of the game, which, I have not played it in years, so cannot remember if its the first or second level, but made the game practically worthless. I have played racing games where physics seemed to be a concept the game designers left out, making it perfectly alright to drive through solid objects. How in the world did Aquaman not get on this list?

    Once again, I must admit that all these games suck, but if you are going to work for EGM, stop acting like a 14 year old who is having a tempertantherum because he just got grounded.
  • Zero Wing (Score:4, Insightful)

    by fuzzybunny (112938) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @01:47PM (#16538134) Homepage Journal
    Can't believe nobody's brought up this classic.

    The game itself is, meh, average, but the fact that the introduction was so hilariously bad as to spark an Internet phaenomenon....well, all your bad game are belong to us.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 22, 2006 @02:34PM (#16538438)
    Yeah, it seems that the reviewer's biggotry had a lot more to do with this being a "bad" game than anything else.

    Then again, if I play another adventure game that starts with "First, the Democrats take over the world, then the aliens come and the world lives in Star Trek like heaven until someone screws it up" (Journeyman Project) or "once religion is elimnated we make real progress - you know, until the aliens come and screw it up" (Homeworld back story in manual). Gameplay-wise, excellent games, but maybe they should be put on a "worst" list because the dogma is offensive to the reviewer. Hmmm... Nah, I think I'll be fair and judge the games on their own merit - unlike this twit who says that "despite the fact that it was written by Christians and for the Nintendo, the graphics are good". What on earth would one's religion have to do with making pixelated art?

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