Scientists Shocked as Arctic Polar Route Revealed

Paladin144 writes "A route unencumbered by perennial sea ice leading directly to the North Pole has been revealed by recent satellite pictures. European scientists indicated their shock as they noted a ship could sail from Europe's northern-most outpost directly to the pole, something that hasn't been possible during most of recorded human history. The rapid thawing of the perennial sea ice has political implications as the U.S., Canada, Russia and the EU jockey for control of the newly opened passages."

Is it just me

[kongit]

Is it just me or is the world cracking up?

What was the joke?

pr0n

[macadamia_harold]

European scientists indicated their shock as they noted a ship could sail from Europe's northern-most outpost directly to the pole, something that hasn't been possible during most of recorded human history.

Now look, I've seen quite a few movies where they go straight to the pole. No dialogue, nothing. Seriously.

More to the point...

[TechnoBunny]

Did they find any evidence of ManPolarBearPig?

strategic paradigm shift...

[pedantic bore]

Without the polar ice cap, where are the missle subs going to hide?

Market solution for the extinction of polar bears

[Anonymous Coward]

teach polar bears how to operate arctic toll booths

Shocking? Not really...

[Inverted Intellect]

But it could have some chilling consequences.

Re:Shocking? Not really...

[suzerain]

I think the consequences will be more 'warming' than 'chilling'.

Re:More to the point...

[Anonymous Coward]

Did they find any evidence of ManPolarBearPig?

No, but they did find Al Gore claiming to have invented the route. Oh, and that he did so to save the children.

Pictures?

[TangoCharlie]

I followed the link to TFA, and was expecting to see the very satalite images which have shocked the scientists... but no. WTF?

If the scientists want us to believe that the polar ice caps are melting, then we (the public) are going to want to see pictures.

Sorry, without pictures, I don't believe it. Anyway, I've got to go now, because I've got to pick up my kids from school in my SUV.

Re:strategic paradigm shift...

[syousef]

Screw that! What about Santa!? I want my pressies damnit!

Re:Language and assumption troubles

[violet16]

Oh yeah, in geological terms, human history is less than the blink of an eye. With fossils unearthed recently showing _tropical_ weather in Northern Canada, I think it's safe to say that the Arctic ice cap is a temporary feature.

I think it's safe to say that humankind is a temporary feature.

Polemic

[ian_mackereth]

We'll know that global warming has really taken hold when there's a clear-water path to the South Pole!

Re:There goes Santa Claus

[JohnSearle]

And in other news, Santa's workshop is nowhere to be found.

Yeah. I read somewhere that he was bought out by Wallmart, and then dismantled.

- John

Re:Look on the bright side

[Opportunist]

You mean we'll be spared of a Titanic 2? Hooray for global warming!

Re:Language and assumption troubles

[clickclickdrone]

>1. So it happened earlier in recorded human history?
>2. There was technology throughout most of human history that recorded Arctic ice cover?
Haven't you heard of diaries?
Mar 4th 1437
Still cold and boring. Caught breakfast. Fish again. Went for a walk to warm up. Noticed a bit of a crack in the ice and followed that for a while. Bumped into a big pole sticking out the ground. WTF? Some gnarly guy nearby said 'That'll be the North one, sonny.' Maybe someone hammered the pole in too hard and it cracked the ice? Walked back home. Fish for supper.

If that's not evidence, I don't know what is.

Don't forget...

[hyfe]

U.S., Canada, Russia and the EU

Not to mention, Norway!

Too small to mention, heh? I'll let you know we've never lost a single war against Russia nor the U.S... and we seriously intend to keep the record perfect!

Re:Actually, it'll be more sane.

[Anonymous Coward]

If the oceans rise like scientests seem to think they will, the USA will soon be without both New York and California. Let's just hope the rats don't move inland.

You failed geography, right? Most of California and New York are above sea level, way above the 10 to 15 feet the sea level is expected to rise over the next century. Now Virginia Beach, Virginia, home of Pat Robertson, GONE. And not a moment too soon.

Re:Shocking? Not really...

[Nevynxxx]

This is one of the reaosns I want to move further north, to Scotland infact, to guarentee those colder winters :)

What can I say? I like snow!

Roll on ice cap melting and the shutdown of the gulf stream.....

Re:Don't forget...

[myowntrueself]

A people who can actually *eat* lutefisk need fear no invaders...

(My theory on lutefisk is that it originates from an ancient Viking recipe for cleaning dried blood from weapons and armor... then one day a bored and drunken Nord tried eating it and didn't die)

Re:Shocking? Not really...

[nephridium]

I wouldn't like to start a heated debate about this - even less a flame war.

Re:strategic paradigm shift...

[Crayon Kid]

Screw that! What about Santa!? I want my pressies damnit!

Why do you think they all rustle for control of the passage? Wait for Santa on a dark december night with a squadron of marines and you got it made, man...

Re:Polemic

[$RANDOMLUSER]

Assuming that you, too, are on land, you'll find his joke directly overhead.

Priorities?!?!

[Timberwolf0122]

So a huge fuck-off crack appears in the pole and the first response is not hey! how do we fix it, no, it's hey I want dibbs on trade routes.

This! This! is why I want to vote communist!

Re:Shocking? Not really...

[slysithesuperspy]

In fact, we build our houses out of bricks, while Americans rebuild their wooden houses every year after the hurricane season!

Re:action please

[Detritus]

Let's paint the environmentalists white, increasing the albedo of the planet.

Re:Language and assumption troubles

[JaJ_D]

"We can extract ice cores and easily date the layers."

No, actually, we can't. You're thinking _ANTARCTIC_ ice layers, not Arctic. Arctic ice is _sea ice_ and as sea ice, it melts and refreezes and it _moves_ all over the damn place.

Just to clarify further, since the ice has melted over the passage way it would be damned hard to get an ice core ;-]

Jaj

Re:Don't forget...

[meringuoid]

Not to mention, Norway!

Forget Norway!

Kenyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Re:Actually, it'll be more sane.

[Anonymous Coward]

They said we were daft, trying to build a country in a swamp

No ice?

[mtec]

That's ok, I prefer my earth straight up.

Re:Shocking? Not really...

[Petrushka]

Melting is an endothermic reaction

Hee hee, I'm sorry, I stopped reading at this point because I was laughing so hard. I know, it's late at night and I'm a little bit tipsy, but it really is funny, mainly because you sound like you mean it.

Re:Lutefisk explained

[BigCheese]

I think we can safely categorize lutefisk as a WMD.

A friend of mine in high school had a Norwegian grandfather. His mother made lutefisk for him one christmas and their cat hid for days.

Re:Defensive wall

[Hijacked Public]

Or, if they build the dam out of wood, a giant army of beavers.

Re:Look on the bright side

[Gulthek]

No such luck: Titanic 2 [trailer] [youtube.com]

Re:Language and assumption troubles

[Tsagadai]

It's a feature from a microsoft point of view.

You're Welcome

[T.E.D.]

For centuries your European explorers searched in vain for a Northwest Passage [wikipedia.org] to China. They eventually had to give up and admit failure.

But now, thanks to good old Yankee know-how, we have created one for you. Long-dreamed of commercial trade oppertunties have been opened to you! No, no, there's no reason to thank us. Really. It was our pleasure.

If there's anything else you need that can be accomplished via massive greed, sloth, and lack of self-awareness, don't hesitate to ask us.

Re:The implications...

[Aqualung812]

YEA! Now we can burn MORE oil, and that will melt MORE ice, letting us get to MORE OIL!!! WHOOOHOOOO!

Global warming skeptics

[DavidHumus]

...keep fingers over eyes and in ears and keep saying
La la la - I can't hear you...

Re:Defensive wall

[MightyYar]

Beavers vs. Termites! War strategy or new Samuel L. Jackson movie?

Re:Arctic melting

[Del Vach]

What the hell? This is the INTERNET, nobody concedes a point! Challenge his math, mock his sentence structure, insult his mother, threaten to have your lawyer contact him... without enough flames the tubes may cool!

I built mine out of straw

[blueZ3]

You insensitive clod!

Planetary Distress Signal ...?

[handy_vandal]

"Mister President, perhaps you should transmit a planetary distress signal ... while we still have time."

-- Sarek: "STIV:TVH", Stardate 8390

Re:Shocking? Not really...

[rk]

In the United States, 200 years ago was an ancient age, but 200 miles is right around the corner.

In Britain, 200 years ago was just yesterday, but 200 miles is the next galaxy.

:-)

Re:Lutefisk explained

[HK MP5-A3]

That's nothing, A friend of mine in high school had a chinese grandmother. She made Stir Fry for for him one christmas and their cat was never seen again.

Re:Planetary Distress Signal ...?

[Flummox]

Now? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.

Re:Look on the bright side

[Jamu]

I liked Titanic. Admittedly the start was a bit boring, but the comedy ending and the bit where Leonardo DiCaprio dies and then sinks into the Atlantic was good.

Re:Defensive wall

[Zaphod2016]

I for one...am sick and tired of these motherfucking SOAP jokes on this motherfucking website!

No, the cat does not "got my tongue."

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

> something that hasn't been possible during most of recorded human history.

Looks like we dodged another murderous ice age. Whew!

Oh, wait, that's not the politically correct answer, is it?