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The Ultimate Blog Post 93

Posted by Zonk
from the going-to-sue-ea-over-this dept.
An anonymous reader writes to mention Lore Sjöberg's 'Ultimate Blog Post'. He goes over the history of the blog (dating back over 2000 years), and conveniently condenses out the perfect blog posts for a few notable sites. From the article: "Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games. FARK: Drunk frat boy in Florida has sex with underage donkey, sues Strong Bad for negligence. Still no cure for overused in-jokes. Slashdot: AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow. Engadget: Samsung releases new cell phone/mp3 player/camera/web browser/GPS/game player/wireless hub. Now in gray! Joystiq: Will Wright to design first-person Warcraft shooter for the Wii. Jack Thompson responds with aneurysm."
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The Ultimate Blog Post

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  • by BigZaphod (12942) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @03:48AM (#16074776) Homepage
    Dupe anonymous first post is -1 off-topic but insightful because Linux rules and Zonk sucks.
  • by Danoz (627412) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @03:50AM (#16074779)
    Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games.

    FARK: Drunk frat boy in Florida has sex with underage donkey, sues Strong Bad for negligence. Still no cure for overused in-jokes.

    Slashdot: AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow.

    Kottke: Elwin Festerator is the unsung inventor of the curly telephone cord. "I looked at a straight telephone cord, and I asked myself, Elwin, why can't that be curly? So I went out and got my brand-new curling gun, and I curled the hell out of it." Related link: New Yorker article on the Olympic curling team.

    Engadget: Samsung releases new cell phone/mp3 player/camera/web browser/GPS/game player/wireless hub. Now in gray!

    Joystiq: Will Wright to design first-person Warcraft shooter for the Wii. Jack Thompson responds with aneurysm.

    Groklaw: Transcript of SCO deposition on previous court order concerning applicability of evidence to last year's motion to review earlier statements. Seriously, we love this stuff.

    Daily Kos: Bush caught in three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

    Little Green Footballs: Bush enjoys triumphant three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

    Gawker: Paris Hilton does pretty much anything.

    Cute Overload: A kitten licks a puppy while the puppy licks a bunny.

    Fleshbot: Same as Cute Overload, only with coeds.

    MacRumors: Apple is going to sue us for revealing that Apple is going to sue us.

    MAKE blog: How to create a nuclear accelerator using a Flash drive, a Commodore 64 and a guy named Roger.

    Metafilter: Unhelpful link text. Extra links added for padding that have little to do with the main topic of the entry. Are extremely loaded rhetorical questions the only thing that can save us now?

    Digg: Hey, cool, someone wrote an article about Digg!
    • by Linker3000 (626634) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @04:00AM (#16074789) Journal
      Which all just goes to show that satire on the wrong hands is just plain dull.
      • Re: (Score:1, Redundant)

        by mikeage (119105)
        Parent was more intelligent and humorous than the submission...
      • by Hillgiant (916436)
        I disagree. Several of them were both apt and humorous.


        Or is your comment some sort of ill-placed metahumor? (hint: Feigning the lack of a sense of humor for satire does not make you ironic. It makes you stupid.)

    • Damn I wanted to know what kuro5hin would have had!

      • Re: (Score:1, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward
        How about:

        We are so counter-culture it hurts, but we're still pissed that Rusty the fucker took our money and didn't improve the site. CMF my ass.
    • by SamSim (630795)
      If by "ultimate" we mean "likely to get the most posts", I always believed that the ultimate Slashdot headline would be "Creationists oppose Linux".
  • by TaPotski (1001556) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @04:27AM (#16074825)
    This is just a tribute
  • Hmm... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Golias (176380) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @04:38AM (#16074840)
    Lore is a funny guy who I have found entertaining for nearly a decade, but if this particular nugget of wit was written by some random blogger that nobody had ever heard about, would it really have made the front page of Slashdot?

    I mean... It's kinda-sorta funny. I guess.

    It doesn't really hold a candle to his "I'm Somebody's Fetish" T-shirts, though.
    • Lore is a funny guy who I have found entertaining for nearly a decade, but if this particular nugget of wit was written by some random blogger that nobody had ever heard about, would it really have made the front page of Slashdot?
      The way Slashdot's going these days... it probably would. There does seem to be a lot of 'blog posts as news' at the moment.
      • Re:Hmm... (Score:4, Interesting)

        by daniil (775990) <evilbj8rn@hotmail.com> on Sunday September 10, 2006 @07:56AM (#16075132) Journal
        There does seem to be a lot of 'blog posts as news' at the moment.

        This actually makes sense, if you consider how most Slashdotters seem to feel towards the mainstream media (they don't seem to be too fond of it) and everything "open source" (media included). If the /. editors support "grassroots media", it makes perfect sense that they would consider blogs as news sources to be equal with "real" ones.
        • by 1u3hr (530656)
          they would consider blogs as news sources to be equal with "real" ones.

          I don't have a problem using a blog as a news source. Though I withhold judgement until some confirmation comes. However, most of the blogs linked by Slashdot are actually just cut-and-pasted from "traditional" media, though admittedly usually with some spelling mistakes, groundless speculation and a misleading headline added.

          • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

            by Jerf (17166)

            Though I withhold judgement until some confirmation comes.

            You do that with "normal" news too, right?

            I mean, the shit [zombietime.com] that passes [flounder.com] for "unbiased" news [michellemalkin.com] lately [youtube.com] is pretty freaky.

            What's more, of those obvious frauds I linked to, only one really got to be a big story; most of the rest non-blog readers will be ignorant of, even though they're about as well established as a proof of a lie or manipulation can possibly be.

            The media is 100% untrustworthy on war reporting, and it's hard to see it as anything but deliber

        • Theoretically the editors should try to get confirmation of the story from someone involved (Or someone involved's blog or something) that would be heaven.

          Scouring the net for news is just sad, if you confirm the story it's common sense, if you dig deeper in order to confirm it's journalism, and if you put all your stories together to form a coherent picture it's good journalism.

          Eventually we might get some of that on Slashdot but I won't hold my breath.
    • by Tim Browse (9263)

      would it really have made the front page of Slashdot?

      Oh, I liked the Metafilter one. Mainly because that's how I see a lot of 'A list' bloggers entries. Just stupid undescribed links. It reminded me a lot of the Winer.

      It doesn't really hold a candle to his "I'm Somebody's Fetish" T-shirts, though.

      And remember, God never burdens us with more ice cream sandwiches than we can eat.

  • by doxology (636469) <cozzydNO@SPAMmit.edu> on Sunday September 10, 2006 @04:42AM (#16074850) Homepage
    LiveJournal: So, in my desperation and eternal angst, I created another piece of art to put on Deviant Art. Also, Puffy had kittens and I saw a green Volvo on my way to college. I dreamt about horseradish last night.

    MySpace: OMG! T0day, me slit wrists again. i so emo! it cuz i make video for knew my chemical romance song! watch it [here]! comment me plz! thx bai!

    Xanga: i scraped knee today when goig to kindergarten. dreamt about pony. hope toof fairi gives me $$ so i can bye lickorish. dreamt of ponies lsat night!
    • Apologies in advance...

      OMG PONIES!!!

      YAY FOR PONIES, JUST YAY!

      sorry couldn't resist, it's just that any reference to ponies kicks it off...
    • I have never replied on /. but had to on this one alone -- great reply. You captured not only the essence of three major sites, you also captured the soul three generations. Nice Job!
      • by mdwh2 (535323)
        I have never replied on /. but had to on this one alone -- great reply. You captured not only the essence of three major sites, you also captured the soul three generations. Nice Job!

        It was funny, yeah, but it's not meant to be taken seriously. It'd be like summarising Slashdot as geeks with no social life who live in their mother's basement and write "First Post!" all the time. We can laugh at it, but I'd be worried if someone thought that was a genuine summary of here...
    • by setirw (854029)
      I don't think the average Xanga user is capable of correctly forming the irregular preterite of "to dream."
    • by noamsml (868075)
      Random Independent Wordpress Blog That Double-Functions As A Slahdot And Digg Whore: How to circumvent iTunes DRM by overclocking your CPU with a Firefox extensions that fixes memory leaks.
    • Dude, I can't believe how wrong you are.

      You're off my friends list!
    • by Inks (949826)
      deviantART: dav5 is horrible! I hate it! I want the old deviantart back!!!~ :llama:
    • Xanga: i scraped knee today when goig to kindergarten. dreamt about pony. hope toof fairi gives me $$ so i can bye lickorish. dreamt of ponies lsat night!

      (Xanga Comment ): A/S/L?
  • 2000 years? (Score:2, Funny)

    by ArwynH (883499)
    He goes over the history of the blog (dating back over 2000 years)

    IIRC 'blog' is short for 'weblog'. I must be tired or something, because I fail to grasp how a WebLog can predate the Web by aprox. 1970 years...

  • History of blogs getting /.ed after their owners decide to submit an article?
    bad publicity!
  • by prgrmr (568806) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @04:51AM (#16074861) Journal
    Not only were they left out, the Romans got the credit for inventing the blog even though the Egyptians were blogging in the pyramids millenia before Rome was even pitched as a VC bid.
  • Short version (Score:2, Insightful)

    by kbox (980541)
    In short "Writing stuff down has been around a while".. Real? Wow. Deep.....
  • Lore Sjoberg (Score:3, Informative)

    by nganju (821034) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @05:03AM (#16074890)
    Lore Sjoberg is probably best known for his hilarious, now defunct website Brunching Shuttlecocks, and the "Ratings" column he used to write on that website. You can still read the past columns right here [bookofratings.com]. The ones about classic video games and Dungeons & Dragons characters are especially funny.
  • Is a dead blog post.
    • So says the guy who has posted 1593 comments on a blog.
      • by dangitman (862676)
        Slashdot is not a blog, it's a discussion board. Do you even know what blog means?
        • Yes.

          From Wikipedia: [wikipedia.org]

          "A weblog, which is usually shortened to blog, is a type of website where entries are made (such as in a journal or diary), displayed in a reverse chronological order.
          Blogs often provide commentary or news and information on a particular subject, such as food, politics, or local news; some function as more personal online diaries."

          Aaaaaand... [wikipedia.org]

          An Internet forum is a facility on the World Wide Web for holding discussions, or the web application software used to provide the facility. Web-base

          • by dangitman (862676)
            "A weblog, which is usually shortened to blog, is a type of website where entries are made (such as in a journal or diary), displayed in a reverse chronological order. Blogs often provide commentary or news and information on a particular subject, such as food, politics, or local news; some function as more personal online diaries."

            This does not cover the full definition. It means "web log" and is a record of someone's web surfing. And in case you didn't realize, comments on slashdot are displayed in chron

            • by carlfish (7229)
              So, slashdot is a forum. Actually, it's a combination of technology news site and discussion forum. But definitely not a blog. Linking to erroneous definitions doesn't change that fact. If it were a weblog, it would only be about websites, and would be written by a single author.

              What you're suffering from is a bad case of cognitive dissonance: "I like Slashdot. I don't like blogs. Therefore, Slashdot is not a blog."

              90% of the posts on Slashdot are links to other websites, decorated with two or three sentenc
              • by dangitman (862676)
                What you're suffering from is a bad case of cognitive dissonance: "I like Slashdot. I don't like blogs. Therefore, Slashdot is not a blog."

                Actually, I don't like slashdot that much. I am saying slashdot is not a blog, because slashdot is not a blog, not because I am a huge fan of slashdot.

                When your definition of a word, especially a newly coined one, differs from that of almost everyone else who uses it regularly, you might want to reconsider your definition.

                The definition becomes pointless is everything

            • And in case you didn't realize, comments on slashdot are displayed in chronological order, so it fails that criteria.

              Faulty logic. Yes, comments are indeed displayed in chronological order. However, as per the definition, entries are displayed in reverse chronological order (newest at the top).

              I can tell you really WANT slashdot to be a forum, but the facts are confounding you at every turn. It's a technology news BLOG that allows comments. Slightly altering definitions presented to you don't change tha

              • by dangitman (862676)
                Slightly altering definitions presented to you don't change that fact. Weblogs are not just about websites, they are about whatever the author WANTS them to be about.

                Exactly. Blogs are driven by the ego of a single writer, even if they allow comments. Slashdot is a technology news site that allows comments.

  • I find it quite appropriate that on a story about blogs, all of the comments are below my viewing threshold.

    - RG>
  • While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble, granite and links they stole from the Greeks.

    "Blog" itself is short for "weblog," which is short for "we blog because we weren't very popular in high school and we're trying to gain respect and admiration without actually having to be around people."


    Oh come on, now. When you consider the fact that a blog is nothing more than someone's diary
    • by daniil (775990)
      YHBT. You've managed to take seriously something that was obviously meant as a satirical piece.
  • It is funny because it is true. I'm surprised that no mention of Linux was part of the Slashdot ultimate blog entry.
  • by ElVaquero (867318) on Sunday September 10, 2006 @07:27AM (#16075101) Homepage
    AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow.
  • by mabu (178417)
    My favorite is:

    Digg: Hey, cool, someone wrote an article about Digg!

    I'd add to that also, "btw, here's a story from three years ago on the front page!"

  • While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble
    All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and Blogs, what have the Romans ever done for us?
  • Spot on. Maybe the thing was crocheted at Burning Man?
  • I thought the signature was the funniest part:
    "Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg eventually overcame these handicaps to become a handyman, a handicapper and a handmaiden."

    I think I better put that in my blog! And yes I'm going to be blogging about this!

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