Dell's Exploding Laptop Autopsy

An anonymous reader writes "Dell has gone to the Consumer Product Safety Commission looking for help determining the cause of death for its exploding laptop. Dell has been blaming the lithium ion battery; the commission seems to have had a few problems with those batteries in the past."

Lithium ion battery?

[yourOneManArmy]

I think you mean lithium ion cannon.

Severe div by 0 error

[Average_Joe_Sixpack]

Now you know what happens when you win game# 11982 in FreeCell

Sounds like that joke.

[Poromenos1]

This reminds me of an old joke. A redneck wanted to perform a vasectomy and went to the doctor, but the doctor told him to light up a cherry bomb, hold it and count to ten. The redneck didn't understand how this would help, but trusted the doctor, lit up the cherry bomb and started counting. When he got to five, he put the cherry bomb between his legs and resumed counting in the other hand.

This is like that, without all the counting.

Re:Lithium ion battery?

[Vo0k]

A single barrel is a cannon. If it's for example 4 cannons shooting synchronously for increased rate of fire, while retaining the same direction, it's called battery.

And now....

[stox]

it is time for the penguin on top of your Dell to explode!

Super happy fun ball

[p51d007]

Kind of reminds me of an old saturday night live skit....... Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: * Itching * Vertigo * Dizziness * Tingling in extremities * Loss of balance or coordination * Slurred speech * Temporary blindness * Profuse Sweating or * Heart palpitations If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

No...

[Savage-Rabbit]

I think you mean lithium ion cannon. ... it's: Dell (TM) Lithium Ion thermal emasculator.

Gamers!

[dpbsmith]

Looking for explosive performance?

You may find Dell's new laptop too hot to handle!

It puts you in the middle of the action, with sound effects so real you'll swear you can feel them.

Blazing action so intense it's practically assault and battery!

Re:No...

[jrmiller84]

I think you mean a thermal detonator. "Uta Guta Solo?"

Autopsy...

[odie_q]

So another Dell laptop is disecting the exploded one? Or did the editor not reflect over the meaning of 'auto' when phrasing the header?

I'm guessing the first one.