DARPA Developing 'Droid' Satellites 80
eliot1785 writes "DARPA is now developing a new breed of satellites that can be precision-maneuvered in unison and easily perform advanced operations with built-in sensors, computers and thrusters. From the article: 'David Miller, director of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Space Systems Laboratory, says such satellites might be used for such tasks as building giant space telescopes and closely monitoring Earth. The shuttle Discovery last week delivered the second of three satellite test "droids" that are undergoing experiments at the International Space Station.'"
But are they "Imperial" droid satellites? (Score:5, Funny)
I think we've got nothing, sir. The report is only a fragment from a probe droid in the Gulf states, but it's the best lead we've had.
Donald RUMSFELD
[ irritated ]
We have thousands of probe droids searching Iraq. I want justification, not proof!
POWELL
The visuals indicate oil, but no terrorists.
RUMSFELD
We could make it mean anything. As long as we ignored every other lead...
POWELL
But, sir, Iraq is supposed to be devoid of terrorists.
Lord BUSH
You found something?
RUMSFELD
Yes, my lord.
[ He points to a blurry image of an oil well on a monitor ]
BUSH
That's it. The terrarists are there.
POWELL
My lord, there are so many uncharted settlements. It could be smugglers, it could be...
BUSH
That is the system. And I'm sure bin Laden is with them. Set your course for Baghdad. General POWELL, prepare your men.
Re:But are they "Imperial" droid satellites? (Score:2)
Re:But are they "Imperial" droid satellites? (Score:1)
Meanwhile, the bearded wiseman says... (Score:5, Funny)
PREDATOR DRONE: No, but this drone is looking for you. *boom*
OBI-N LADEN: That sucked. Oh well, being a blue glowie in paradise isn't so bad. Yo Yallah, how about the 72 virgins?
YALLAH: Get the message, you did not. Raisins, I promised.
OBI-N LADEN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
DARTH VADER: Thats my line, idiot.
Re:Meanwhile, the bearded wiseman says... (Score:1)
I had a joke. It was a REALLY great joke. It popped right up in my head, bust its way right through the vodka fumes when I read the
But you sir, you take the cake.
If I am not wrong the raisins joke (Score:2)
Re:If I am not wrong the raisins joke (Score:2)
Re:If I am not wrong the raisins joke (Score:2)
Re:If I am not wrong the raisins joke (Score:1)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Re:If I am not wrong the raisins joke (Score:2, Informative)
I'm a Muslim student of theology (and a SW Eng..go figure) and the article you just linked to only makes a rubbish postulation in the end by reference to a clueless orientalist. He says if we read the words in Syriac (as opposed to Arabic) then the virgins become raisins. Well done Sherlock. If you read it in swahili Muhammad becomes Bill Gates. And if you want a clear cut argument:
"We have revealed it an Arabic Quran, that you may reflect"
God didn't promise raisins to those who fight in his Cause, and
Re:But are they "Imperial" droid satellites? (Score:3, Funny)
Tell that to Dan Brown.
Re: (Score:1, Flamebait)
Re:But are they "Imperial" droid satellites? (Score:2)
Re:But are they "Imperial" droid satellites? (Score:1)
Powell: Lord Bush, we've spotted some Iranian missiles and we are preparing to *ugh*..
Bush: You have failed me for the last time, general. - Condie!
Condie: Yes, my lord?
Bush: Make ready to attend a press conference, and deploy this speech, so that nothing gets out off our hands. You are in command now, Condie Rice.
Condie: Thank you, Lord Bush.
Sounds Like An Nice Advance (Score:4, Interesting)
Hopefully this will also speed up the time the intelligence agencies can spy on a place when a crisis or situation occurs.
Re:Sounds Like An Nice Advance... for Hitler (Score:1)
How does one start a 'vote on this topic' counter thru the forums?
... I mean, Who really thinks these are "our" military spy satellites?
But gotta love testing these on the ISS, all that peaceful uses of
And beyond the obvious humor..... (Score:5, Funny)
1) garbage collectors for all the space junk out there in orbit around us
2) a new and interesting way of getting rid of those pesky competing satellites
3) spiffy stratosphere-bouncing little comm links
4) ways to make sure that Indian satellites don't achieve orbit
5) new and interesting ways of avoiding Azimov's Laws of Robots-- including the Zeroeth Law
It was inevitable.
Re:And beyond the obvious humor..... (Score:2)
1) Space recycler, makes space junk into man-made aimable meteors.
2) The REAL off switch for competing positional systems and other countries targeting satellites.
3) No change needed, you were dead on.
4) Control who gets to space.
5) Guarantee that SkyNet is undefeatable, and that resistance will be futile.
Yes, and NASA got it there, so.... (Score:2)
2) it only cost $14B per space ball
3) they're rumored to bounce!
4) they're using WiFi, but on Channel 14 (at least it's MIMO!)
5) they can be used to fix the Hubble!!
Re:And beyond the obvious humor..... (Score:2)
Dupe AND Bad Summary (Score:2)
The satellites the "article" talks about are the result of MIT and DARPA's Synchronized Position Hold Engage and Reorient Experimental Satellites (SPHERES [mit.edu]...sounds like they were stretching a little bit to get decent sounding acronym). The immediate focus of research is to develop control systems for automated docking, with later potential applications of station-keeping and maybe even satellite repair. For example, you may recall a DoD satellite repair mis
the obvious use (Score:5, Informative)
Or the obvious use for DARPA, destroying other satellites. (Conveniently left off the list.)
Re:the obvious use (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:the obvious use (Score:2)
[0] Presumably EMP-hardened military assets, anyway. Kiss those VHS archives of Blossom goodbye!
Re:the obvious use (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:the obvious use (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:the obvious use (Score:2)
Re:the obvious use (Score:1)
Re:the obvious use (Score:2)
Re:the obvious use (Score:1)
I just read TFA, and... (Score:4, Funny)
"from the take-me-to-your-gallon dept." ??? (Score:2)
Cast a spell (Score:4, Funny)
Oh wait, that was droid. Never mind.
Re:Cast a spell (Score:2, Funny)
Take me to your gallon??? (Score:2)
Re:Take me to your gallon??? (Score:2)
I'm all for this, BUT... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'm all for this, BUT... (Score:2)
Re:I'm all for this, BUT... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I'm all for this, BUT... (Score:1)
Woo hoo! (Score:2)
Silent Running (Score:2)
It's frightening and a bit maddening... (Score:3, Insightful)
Yeah - "might": just about as plausible as defending the Earth from the FSM [wikipedia.org], or killing the Ori [wikipedia.org], or letting us know when the Vogons [wikipedia.org] arrive. WTF - don't we already have sufficient technology for satellites that can "closely" monitor the Earth?
More likely they'll just end-up being more orbital junk endangering something-or-other or making pretty, bright flashes when they de-orbit. Yeah, Miller - keep finding gov't funding for practically anything for MIT or else the management might look for someone who can.
Re:It's frightening and a bit maddening... (Score:1)
Re:It's frightening and a bit maddening... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:It's frightening and a bit maddening... (Score:2)
I for one welcome our new ...wait a minute (Score:4, Funny)
Am I the only one.. (Score:1)
Re:Droid Swarm Parts List (Score:1)
Droids? (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Droids? (Score:2)
(RUR -- Rossum's Universal Robots)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:Droids? (Score:2)
You clearly answered yor own question... they aren't called androids because they fall short of the human shape!
Re:Droids? (Score:2)
"You know, I could almost see the remote..."
Sad that I can quote Star Wars scripts without having to fish out the DVD...
I would say BUSH SHOT FIRST!... (Score:2)
The most important question about a 'droid' (Score:2)
I once had a droid
that was paranoid
as much as i tried
tried hard to avoid
upsetting my droid
it shook, screeched and buzzed
and stared into the void
i told him "hey, chill!"
my pretty boy and droid
I crooned, shook and danced
and I played him pretty tunes
from andrew weber loyd
oh i got that name wrong
but whatever heck nevermind
oh i'm so very annoyed
where is his warranty card
he got me, too, paranoid
let's take his ass to shop
before he had deployed
newfangled nasty tech
alarms, weapons and toyed
Interesting widgets... (Score:1)
There is a bit more information here [blogspot.com] and here [mit.edu] about SPHERES including images and video at MIT.
These puppies are not quite "bowling ball" shaped.
Can scientists and engineers PLEASE... (Score:3, Insightful)
Can anyone please tell us, what would be the projected lifetime of those things in open space with ways of storing energy/fuel that are going to be available within 10-15 years? That means, no thermonuclear shit, thermonuclear was 25 years away for 50 years already, thankyouverymuch.
What about precision of movement while performing any operation that a drunk guy in a space suit over another space suit over pajamas won't do better? How many times the expected mass of that thing is going to increase to be able to use a screwdriver? Hello anyone? Did anyone think about any relevant technical issues at all, or the goal was to make a prop for "Star Wars VII: Palpatine Is Still Alive, Dammit" to be shot entirely on ISS (and released exclusively there, too)?
Metal Gear (Score:1)
"I had forgotten how much I HATE space travel." nt (Score:2)
Another Computer Science Concept Expanded (Score:1)