What Do Geek Squad Technicians Actually Do?

Zenitram asks: "I am a lead technician at a company that repairs computers for various vendors. Many of our systems are from Best Buy's Geek Squad. Based on the systems Geek Squad sends us, it makes me wonder what, if anything, do they actually do? We get systems that have issues that we simply shouldn't have to work on, like: installing device drivers, OS reloads, and reseting CRUs (Customer Removable Units). Additionally, we get systems that are misdiagnosed such as: bad hard drive when a system has faulty RAM; no POST when it simply won't boot into Windows; or no boot when it won't power on at all. So, what is the scope of technical repair that Geek Squad techs do?"

Hand holding.

[QuantumG]

Some people need that kind of support.

Well...

[bcat24]

We know they use Winternals software [sysinternals.com]. :)

Their Clothing

[BobNET]

Haven't you seen their ads? They wear ties. You know, 'cause all geeks wear ties! (Just look in the mirror, fellow /. readers!) And if they wear ties they have to be computer experts!

They work for Best Buy...

[Raistlin77]

'nuff said.

Re:Their Clothing

[QuantumG]

Hey! I wear a tie and frankly I find it offensive that... nah, I can't pull that off. :)

Have you ever looked at these guys?

[two_socks]

Honestly, I think they're a step up from "I roll my poo into balls".
God help you if they ever make you speak to one to explain what's wrong with something purchased there.

Re:Hand holding.

[QuantumG]

You (or more typically, your elderly parents) ring up and say "my mouse won't work", someone comes around to your house and plugs it in / cleans the mouse ball / upsells you an optical mouse.

A classic mistake...

[cyranoVR]

They hired nerds, not geeks - stupid, stupid, stupid!

What they repair

[tansey]

I think it's pretty obvious [geeksquad.com] they're here to repair our poor fashion sense! Remember, dressing like an extra from Revenge of the Nerds is the first step towards mastering your computer!

Obligatory Office Space Reference

[poobread]

Geek Squad: Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to!! I have people skills!! I am good at dealing with people!!! Can't you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!

Re:We love the geek squad!

[patio11]

geek browsed customer's computer to a nasty web site and got it infected with spyware and viruses (two weeks ago)

Yeah, suuuuuuure... "Oh, I have no idea how that porn site got into my history. I know I never visit porn sites, and my husband/son/dog are morally upstanding individuals... it must have been the Geek Squad!"

Re:Who cares!

[eclectro]

I care, because they might give geeks a bad name.

Going by their name...

[Black Parrot]

...I'd guess that they post to Slashdot.

Not just Geek Squad

[SIGBUS]

I remember a now-defunct white box computer shop some years back (think K6 era), where I overheard a tech talk about "warezing" (he pronounced it like the English rendition of "Juarez") software.

Meanwhile I was thinking, "why go to Mexico for software :) when there's Linux?"

Re:I just got a job there

[Rob_Warwick]

+1 Sympathy Karma

What Geek Squad does

[Megane]

They get to drive around in this way-cool VW Beetle with the words "Geek Squad" on the side. That's soooo l33t.

Clasic anti Nerd Propiganda

[Anonymous Coward]

Here is the heirarchy of social imptitude and intelligence Nerds,Geeks,Dweebs. In College. we refered to Physics/math majors as Nerds, Chemistry majors as Geeks, and Biology majors as dweebs. It was very true, in the physics dept, not a single one of us had a girlfriend. Chemistry majors dated occasionaly, and Biolgy majors were ... well lets just say they were well versed in human anatomy.

Re:Hand holding.

[ericdano]

Plus they have those really neato cars. I see them on the freeway sometimes.

I think Apple should buy them, and then when they make a call, they replace the PC with a Mac. Simple, and then there would be no return call.

Re:The name "Geek Squad"

[Anonymous Coward]

Not as much as Niggerchinkkike Squad

The front man role.

[Bob9113]

So, what is the scope of technical repair that Geek Squad techs do?

Here's my guess:
- Look good.
- Dress nice.
- Talk nice.
- Send computer to someone who won't break it. :)

Re:Hand holding.

[DarthMAD]

I agree- when was the last time a door-stop or paperweight needed repair?

Re:They job is to collect money from

[devnull17]

Somehow, I think Linus Torvalds knows that Windows NT drivers are not compatible with Linux.

Real nerds wear ties

[totallygeek]

When I worked professionally as a repair tech, I wore a tie for exactly one day.

I agree with you completely. Although, I used to work for a company where a tie was mandatory. People would always buy me computer ties as gifts and I had about 100 of them. So, one day I am doing some service work at a company I had never visited when one of the owners strolled in. He gestured at me and I introduced myself. He then stated that he thought for the money paid he would have a more conservative, business-minded computer person building out his network and told me to never wear the tie I had on or even one like it in his building. So, I left. I told my boss about it and he told me I had to return and where a non-geeky computer tie (I think I had on a tie with a 3-D computer mouse). So, on the way over, I stopped at a thrift shop and bought a god-awful, really wide, nasty-colored tie. Needless to say, I always made sure I wore a crummy tie while at his office from then on out.

Re:Who cares!

[lachlan76]

Umm, what? I've repaired my current system more than four times, and it's only added up to about AU$400. Bear in mind that at the time that it took place, the computer was worth over AU$1000. What you say is not always the case.

Re:Hand holding.

[Anonymous Coward]

Well we're assuming you're not going to continue running your old PC after you get it.

Besides, it'd be a bitch to move that old WinXP box just to get a paper that is beneath it.

Re:Who cares!

[drachenstern]

It's not like this site is for "Goodies for Geeks: Toys that Taunt" or anything.

You're apparently a Nerd. And remember in RotN, we win!!!

anyways, I'm going back into my corner and work on my battlebot...

Re:They're like technical support folks...

[Anonymous Coward]

Before you listen to any more drivel by 'AntDude [slashdot.org]', take a look at who you're dealing with: http://pbx.mine.nu/antdude.jpg [pbx.mine.nu]. The abortion in the center is 'AntDude'. I won't even get into discussion about him listing his 'sex' as 'female' on his SHITTY 'blog' (aqfl.net [aqfl.net]). This faggot has nothing better to do than sit on the internet and spew worthless garbage. He's the new LostCluster [slashdot.org] when it comes to posting utterly worthless tripe. Not to mention his submitted stories! Every single one of his last 10 or so submissions have been tagged as 'lame' or 'slownewsday'. Why does taco even bother posting his shit. Maybe he gets some tiny deformed chinese cock up his taco ass in exchange for some linkspam with google ads? Do the world a favor and never reply to comments from ANTDUDE and mark him as a FOE [slashdot.org].

Re:Hand holding.

[Tweekster]

And they dress like mormons

Re:What does PCMCIA stand for?

[Patrik_AKA_RedX]

Easy: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms.

Re:Their Clothing

[jkwscurvy]

I used to work as a Geek Squad agent and dress code required it to be the company issue clip-on version.
Though, not to prevent one from being caught in a printer but to keep people from hanging themselves.

Re:We love the geek squad!

[Tatarize]

Holy crap, I should totally get a job there. Seems like you could just embezzle a lan party in a few weeks.

Re:I just got a job there

[Anonymous Coward]

so you have to determine if it won't boot due to software problems or hardware? (I guess that's what you mean.. windows resides on the hard drive so usually by "booting the hard drive" you just end up loading windows.) I feel for you, really, because that's not important information at all. I at least hope you learn something from the job.

Re:Hand holding.

[Nutria]

quintessential rapid fanboy

He doesn't look very fast...

Re:well...

[quantaman]

Pack the sucker in foam, put it in a box and send it UPS insured for $1k or actual value, whichever is more. They'll handle it like a newborn kitten.

And that's supposed to be a good thing?!

I tried sending a newborn kitten just like that via UPS once, I don't think you'd want a laptop ending up like that kitten did!

Re:Real nerds wear ties

[Dr.Altaica]

Peter Norton is that you?

Re:Hand holding.

[tgd]

*glances at dead ibook holding door open*

*sigh*

Thats not funny.

Re:They job is to collect money from

[technothrasher]

Hehe... 'car geek'... Call the next mechanic you see a car geek... I wonder how that'll go over...

Are you kidding? I call my mechanic a car geek all the time. There are 'muscle guy' mechanics and then there are definitely 'car geek' mechanics.

Interestingly enough ...

[Mathness]

Interestingly enough the geek squad specie have many similarities with the (greek) squids:

- Both can leak ink; squid does it for defense, geeks just have cheap pens.

- Ability to adapt to work in odd positions; geeks often work in cubicles or are found in odd places doing repairs, squids again do it for defense or to seek food.

- Execelent use of appendixes; squids can assume almost any form to do the work it needs to do, geeks have all the tools (and more) to do the work it need to do.

- Good camuflage; Squids can often change colour to become undetectable, geeks are undetectable by the cloth style, and in some cases their behaviour.

Amazing really, two completely different species, and yet so much in common.

Doubt it

[Anonymous Coward]

"and they had Agents whose technical skills would eat the lunches of everyone on Slashdot."

I doubt it. I am the best. Without question. If you knew me, you'd be kneeling at my feet saying "I'm not worthy".

The thing is, I'm now a director at a fortune 1000 and you couldn't even afford to sit in my car.

Excuse me?

[Jesus_666]

Doorstop? Paperweight?

The MacBook is clearly a space heater.

Re:Hand holding.

[Orange Crush]

I agree. My mom's a domestic engineer. If you call her a house wife, she'll engineer you right across the face. =D

Nerd or geek?

[pointbeing]

There's really a simple distinction between nerds and geeks.

A nerd gets his degree through hard work - attending lotsa classes, studying the material and turning in nothing-less-than-stellar work.

A geek gets his degree by hacking into the school's mainframe and awarding himself credit for classes he never took.

Got more questions? Just ask ;-)

Re:Hand holding.

[admdrew]

I don't know what kind of weird hardware you have hooked, up, but My linux box supports all the hardware I throw at it.

I've yet to see either my windows machine or my linux box handle devices thrown at it. If they're small, like a pen or a cat, the item will bounce off the side and chances are the machine simply won't do anything at all. If they're largish, like a motherboard or possibly an xbox, the computer falls over and I immediately get a BSOD on the windows machine or a kernel panic on the linux box.

My friend claims his mac can handle anything thrown at it, but I think he's only saying that because he doesn't actually own a mac, and therefore would be unable to actually hit it with any object.

Re:Hand holding.

[plorqk]

At least you'll get more service out of a mormon than the Geek Squad.

Re:Excuse me?

[elrous0]

It gives me a special warm feeling in me private area.

-Eric

Re:Hand holding.

[elrous0]

I too am often skeptical of people who say things without thinking. For example, I once heard someone say that their PC wasn't worth pissing on. Well, duh, of COURSE it isn't!! Something like that would probably get you electrocuted, not to mention the fact that it would likely ruin your desk and stink up the room.

-Eric

Re:Hand holding.

[elrous0]

Yeah, unlike the Mormons, I've *YET* to convince any member of the Geek Squad to give me a full release massage.

-Eric

Re:Excuse me?

[denverradiosucks]

"The MacBook is clearly a space heater."

Now with magic GROWING battery!

Re:Hand holding.

[COMON$]

Next time you need an image just ship it to any slashdotter, heck most of us will udercut them for $250 and give you a "free" copy of Norton Ghost to boot. :)

Re:Hand holding.

[hobot]

I did the same damn thing, I walked into a Best Buy looking for a A to mini B and it was there, for 48 dollars. 48 Mother Fucking Dollars. I only have to pay 20 bucks for a blowjob from a pretty clean hooker, and you are charging me 48 MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A 6 FOOT USB CABLE.

Re:Hand holding.

[Mayhem178]

Which reminds me of a more recent story. A different friend of mine, who like me only builds his own computers, was going to purchase a stick of RAM from Best Buy because it was on sale at half price (marked down from $80 to $40). When he tried to purchase the RAM, however, he was informed that the discount is only valid if he let the Geek Squad install the RAM for him. The cost of such a procedure was, as you stated above, around $50, which essentially means that the discount would have ended up costing him more money than paying full price and installing it himself.

Needless to say, he raised some serious hell about it. In the end the store manager let him have the discount without any interaction with the Geek Squad.

Re:Hand holding.

[kimvette]

Um, I don't normally hang out with young kids - when you get older, that kind of thing is considered "bizzare behavior."

That is so untrue! I mean, look at Michael Jackson. . . oh wait a second, I see what you mean! ;)

Re:WorstBuy

[kimvette]

For me, the reason for Best Buy's existence is:

Their DVD selection, cheap DVD+/-R media, cheap CD-R media, and in a pinch, hasbro-class routers.

Re:Hand holding.

[gardyloo]

Have YOU ever tried explaining something remotely technical to an elderly couple? I don't blame that guy for giving a half-assed answer.

        I feel sorry for the old folks. If he had just hyperthreaded the explanation, they'd have got a full-assed answer.

Re:Hand holding.

[Anarke_Incarnate]

you misspelled SHAM :)

Re:Hand holding.

[Nerd4News]

Did you perhaps mistype MCSE (microsoft certified systems engineer)?

"Did you perhaps mistype MCSE (Must Consult Someone Else)"

There, I fixed it for you.