Lawyers Ordered to Play RPS to Settle Dispute 265
Rent-to-Pwn writes "After the lawyers involved couldn't settle even the most basic disputes without court intervention, a federal judge ordered the two lawyers to play one (1) game of rock, paper, scissors to settle the dispute. Being a federal case, in theory, it could become precedent for similar, unimportant decisions. Of course, there's no mention of what the two lawyers are supposed to do in case of a tie ..."
Geez... what a precedent (Score:5, Funny)
Good old rock... (Score:5, Funny)
Damn... (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:3, Funny)
In case of tie.... (Score:3, Funny)
Chose your weapon (Score:2, Funny)
PBF (Score:5, Funny)
A training manual... (Score:5, Funny)
wont work (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:2, Funny)
game on your honor (Score:5, Funny)
Echo's of "QUAD DAMAGE" and "J00 CAMPING SOB" in the Halls of Justice.
With so *much* at stake... (Score:5, Funny)
And in 20 minutes... (Score:2, Funny)
"We are appaled by this decision. Including Rock and Paper in a decidedly Scissors arena is yet another tactic by activist judges trying to legislate from the bench. They keep pushing this kind of alternate agenda down our throats. Alternate Dispute Settlement indeed! Keep your Rock and Paper away from my Scissors. We don't need that kinda stuff here!"
... it has to go and do something like this ... (Score:5, Funny)
RTS? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:5, Funny)
"Has the jury reached a verdict?" (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Funny yes....but "your rights online"? (Score:5, Funny)
It obviously belongs in Games [slashdot.org].
Guess we'll have to Roshambo for it! (Score:5, Funny)
(Digging for Arrowheads)
Pip: OOH! OOH! I think I found one!!
(Cartman has hold of the other end.)
Cartman: No, I found it!
(Cartman and Pip hold the large arrowhead by opposite ends.)
Pip: Oh, I do believe I found it first.
Cartman: No, I did!
Pip: Oh, dear...
Cartman: Well, guess we'll have to Roshambo for it.
Pip: What do you mean?
Cartman: Well, first I kick you in the nuts as hard as I can. Then you kick ME in the nuts as hard as YOU can. And we keep going back and forth until somebody falls. Last one standing gets the arrowhead.
Pip: Oh, my. Well, I suppose if I must...
Cartman: Okay, ready? I'll go first.
(Cartman takes a step and hauls off, kicking Pip square in the balls. Pip immediately turns blue and falls to the ground coughing. Cartman looks pleased. After Pip stops coughing, he finally manages to speak.)
Pip: Well, I guess you win.
Cartman: Oh, I don't care, you can have the stupid arrowhead. I don't want it.
(Cartman tosses the arrowhead down to Pip, who is still lying painfully in the dirt.)
--
That would make court dramas interesting!
In related news...Betting on the event has begun. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Geez... what a precedent (Score:2, Funny)
http://shellcore.smspower.org/pictures/screenshot
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:5, Funny)
Lawyer #2: "Paper"
L1 "Aha! I win"
L2 "No you don't! Paper wraps rock, it says that right here under section 1A of the rule book."
L1 "Look, according to the expert witnesses, rock would rip right through paper. We have a geologist to testify to the strength of rocks, and a materials engineer to testify to the relative weakness of paper."
L2 "Well, we have a person from the Rock Paper Scissors assosiation and another from the paper industry, both of whom assure us that paper wraps rock."
Etc, etc ad infinitum....
Re:"Has the jury reached a verdict?" (Score:3, Funny)
Judge "Very well. Death by stoning."
I shudder to think what they'd do for paper. Death by bureaucracy?
Re:Games are patentable (Score:3, Funny)
Oh yeah? [slashdot.org]
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:3, Funny)
Perhaps. We'll see. From TFA:
Re:I wonder... (Score:3, Funny)
It was almost the perfect crime... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good old rock... (Score:5, Funny)
[Scissors]Nerf rock!!!!
[Scissors]Nerf rock!!!!
[Scissors]Nerf rock!!!!
[Paper] Actually I think rock is fine
Spoilsport... (Score:5, Funny)
So, why don't you just bite my shiny metal ass? Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder.
Obligatory (Score:3, Funny)
But scissors beats paper! Kif, we have a conundrum!
Re:Play Paper! (Score:5, Funny)
Alternatively, this bit probably applies best to lawyers:
But if the other side will rationally choose scissors, then the sensible course of action is to throw rock.
But if the other side reasons the same way, then obviously you'll have to play paper.
Either way, never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Re:I wonder... (Score:4, Funny)
No, you should use rock. If you lose, you can use it to bash the other guys head in and win anyway ;).
Guns Do! (Score:5, Funny)
R typically stands for real in these cases, and not being familiar with rock as a choice, I figured they were going to duel. I like that we can sometimes take the justice system back a few hundred years every now and then. Maybe they should just tie up both parties and throw them into a body of water - whoever lives obviously is wrong!
from 4chan (Score:2, Funny)
A simple gamer test (Score:2, Funny)
It's like Isaac Newtons "Unionized" versus "Un-ionized" test, only for gamers.
Re:Spoilsport... (Score:3, Funny)
This is a reference to Bender, a character on the cartoon Futurama.
Not to be a complete prick, but... (Score:3, Funny)
It would be "Rochambeau", and while Wikipedia offers your alternative as legitimate, this is one of those cases where I believe Wikipedia has been overtaken by rude, uncultured philistines bent on destroying all meaningful cultural reference and offering bland Americanized bastardizations in the place of perfectly good imported words.
And just for the mods, who occasionally can't figure this part out, 'I'm Kidding!(tm)'.
In case of tie... (Score:5, Funny)
there's no mention of what the two lawyers are supposed to do in case of a tie ...
File an appeal?
The judge should have sent them to... THUNDERDOME! (Score:3, Funny)
One lawyer leaves!
MASTER BLASTER RULES BARTERTOWN!!!
*cough*
Re:probably as fair than most legal proceedings (Score:3, Funny)
Perverted is when you eat the chicken afterwards.