The Molecular Secrets of Cream Cheese

Roland Piquepaille writes "The June issue of Wired Magazine carries a story about one of the two university labs in the U.S. dedicated to cream cheese research. This one is -- where else? -- in Madison, Wisconsin, where researchers are exploring the molecular mysteries of cream cheese. You may not know, but this cheese is tricky to produce because the acid-secreting bacteria used to coagulate the milk need to be killed at the right time. The researchers are now writing a guidebook about the secrets of cream cheese, a book which will be available to anyone, in a process similar to the open source movement for software. For more information, please read the entertaining article of Wired magazine, 'Schmear Campaign' or this summary to discover little-known facts about cream cheese."

Wonderful

[kimvette]

"The work is funded by federal grants," (snip other sources of funding, yes I know it's not ALL tax funded)

I am so glad that tax dollars extorted from me are being spent on such important projects. Thanks Uncle Sam!

Strangely,

[venicebeach]

Strangely, there are not many academical papers about cream cheese.

Yeah. Truly bizarre.

Re:Wonderful

[thc69]

Perhaps they will investigate the phenomena whereby cream cheese is the exact opposite of expresso. I once tried an expresso, about ten years ago, at Barnes & Noble. Immediately, I set out on a mission to locate some cream cheese. Tragically, I went cream-cheese-less...but I really could have eaten a whole package of it, and it would have made my mouth feel much better.

Please don't RTFA!

[Anonymous Coward]

For more information, please read the entertaining article of Wired magazine, "Schmear Campaign" or this summary to discover little-known facts about cream cheese.

I read them, but I'd like to request that no one else read them. If we all read the article then the "little-known facts" become well-known, and therefore less valuable.

Thanks.

Open Source Cream Cheese, yeah Cheese is the word.

[layer3switch]

We have Open Source Cream Cheese now? Oh sweet lord of mercy! All we need is Open Source Bagel and Open Source Toaster. Oh wait, we already have NetBSD [laughingsquid.com].

Re:Wonderful

[kfg]

Obviously they either need to cut funding for this project, or balance it by adding funding for a project to investigate the molecular secrets of lox.

We cannot have a cream cheese/lox molecular secrets gap at taxpayer expense.

KFG

I love statistics

[r_jensen11]

How do you value currency, though? Look at the history of gold. The the number of dollars that it cost for gold in 1980 was more than it is today, and that's not taking into effect the time value of money. On Tuesday, September 23, 1980, gold's value was $711.00, valued at Sept 23, 1980 USD. On Thursday, June 01, 2006, gold's value was $625.00 , valued at June 01, 2006 USD. So if I had only gold, and milk cost the same in USD then as it does now, it only costs me 87.9% of what it used to. Factoring in the time value of money, it costs me an insignificant fraction of the original value.

Moral of the story: statistics are fun!

Cream Cheese, eh?

[Anonymous Coward]

It's neither a solid or a liquid, so it must be... a soquid.

These labs would do well to start investigating the properties of the mysterious fpoon.

Re:Wonderful

[pHatidic]

Surely the government would not fund such a caper.

Re:Science gone amuck again

[vijayiyer]

Do you wish that Louis Pasteur didn't invent the pasteurization process too? Or are only current scientific advancements "mucking up" our food sources?

Madison Wisconsin

[ptelligence]

This one is -- where else? -- in Madison, Wisconsin

and the other one is in -- let me guess -- Philadelphia?

Combing food and Interesting science

[Cartack]

Win win for all the cubbby geeks out there. Now all we need is a breakdown of the chemical structure of the polymer used in real doll construction.


http://nakedip.com/ [nakedip.com] -- revolutionary web 2.0 site

Re:Nondairy cheeses a bigger challenge

[vought]

The real need for research remains nondairy cheese. While there are now excellent vegan alternatives for most everything, milk, ice cream, hot dogs, etc., cheese is really tough to get right.

I knew Steve Jobs was reading Slashdot, but I didn't realize he was posting!

Hi, Mr. Jobs!

mmm

[cptgrudge]

It's not easy to extract a large plastic syringe that's submerged in a tub of very firm cream cheese, but Mercedes Brighenti performs the task with elegance and precision. The sleeves of her white lab coat are rolled up, her long dark hair is pulled back, and her silver watch is pushed up on her slender arm. Still, the final tug flings little globs of cheese around the university lab - one of only two in the US with a cream cheese research program.

I'm think I'm in love.

Jalapeno poppers

[rdunnell]

Did the research include an investigation as to why jalapeno poppers are more addictive than many street drugs?

I think that's one of the most important issues regarding cream cheese, at least as far as /. is concerned.

Re:Nondairy cheeses a bigger challenge

[operagost]

Vegan: A person who decides he hates meat, and responds by spending the rest of his days trying to recreate meat with vile vegetable-protein based substitutes.

Why not just eat your raw carrots and celery, and forget about the fake meat?

Re:Wonderful

[talkingpaperclip]

"Yeah, WTF? When has learning anything about organic chemistry prove useful?"

Other than the typo, that's exactly what I said to my parents after I failed Organic Chemistry last semester.