Baby Meets Big Brother For Science

dylanduck writes "A baby is to be monitored by a network of microphones and video cameras for 14 hours a day, 365 days a year, in an effort to unravel the seemingly miraculous process by which children acquire language. I guess that's what happens when your pop works at MIT's Media Lab. Thankfully his parents can switch off the surveillance for 'private' moments and delete short scenes. All the footage is being classified by algorithms."

The mom...

[crazyjeremy]

Meanwhile, the baby's mother (a hot Brazillian model) is not told about the cameras. The baby's father (the rich MIT geek) is clueless why his buddies picked HIS house to do the experiment.

Wait this sounds familiar

[nizo]

I wonder if the baby's name is Truman [imdb.com]?

Baby's first words

[stefanlasiewski]

Suprisingly, the Baby's first words mimick the sounds made by the recording equipment:

"beep"
"zzzzZZZZZZzzz"
"click click click click"

Re:Wait this sounds familiar

[AltGrendel]

Next time, if it's a girl they could name it Jenni [wikipedia.org].

Footage Classifications

[El_Smack]

4% Pooping
26% Fussiness
8% Crying
18% Eating
21% Drooling
22% Peek a Boo
1% Language Acquisition

Re:Will parents delete first swear word?

[Snarfangel]

Just wait until some pranksters teach the kid to say "Caltech."

Well...

[nosredna]

It worked out well for Ender [wikipedia.org]

Re:Footage Classifications

[Pastis]

It's spelled

22% Pick a Boob

Re:Footage Classifications

[dr_dank]

Hey, you plagiarized my job description!

Proud first words

[khendron]

I hope the kid's first words are something to be proud of.

I once saw a Mother eating some take-out fast food with her gurgling offspring. The kid was very vocal but couldn't say anything more than "goo" and "ga ga." The mother was doing the traditional "say Mommy, say Mommmmeeeee" thing when the kid pointed at the logo on the paper cup and said, very clearly, "McDonalds."

The mother did not look pleased.

Obligatory

[GrouchoMarx]

Think of the children!

(Someone had to say it...)

Re:This has been done before.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Redundant moderation is the price which Nature exacts for pursuing the low hanging fruit of Internet discussion."

-Lao Tze, c. 500 BC

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

--GrouchoMarx
Card-carrying member of the EFF, FSF, and ACLU. Are you?
I wouldn't want to belong to any club that accepts you as a member ;)

Segfaults?

[19061969]

Quoth the article: "All the footage is being classified by algorithms."

Ha! Just imagine what an algorithm would say when it fills its nappy: "Core dump - segfault at location @r$e."

Re:The mom...

[linguae]

Meanwhile, the baby's mother (a hot Brazillian model) is not told about the cameras. The baby's father (the rich MIT geek) is clueless why his buddies picked HIS house to do the experiment.

There is one problem with that joke. Since when did hot models marry (or even date) us geeks, rich or not? Disprove my conjecture, please.