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New Disclaimer for the Internet 113

Posted by ScuttleMonkey from the slippery-slopes dept.
Techdirt has an amusing new disclaimer for the internet penned by lawyer David Canton is response to Rob Hyndman's recent discovery of an impressive disclaimer for a rock preserve. From the disclaimer: "Business is unpredictable and unsafe. The Internet is dangerous. Many blogs have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the blogs. The Internet is covered in slippery slopes with loose, slippery and unpredictable footing. The RIAA can make matters worse. Patent trolls are everywhere. You may fall, be spammed or suffer a DOS attack. There are hidden viruses and worms. You could break your computer. There is wild code, which may be vicious, poisonous or carriers of dread malware. These include viruses and worms. E-mail can be poisonous as well. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. We do not inspect, supervise or maintain the Internet, blogosphere, ISP's or other features, natural or otherwise."
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New Disclaimer for the Internet More

New Disclaimer for the Internet

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  • How about (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    "Use at your own risk."

    Like most things in life.

  • What has been submitted as a pithy wry parody of a real life warning may in fact be dead on in its message. In fact, it may not be such a bad idea to make such a warning more de rigeur. Perhaps we put a sticker on any computer (especially XP) for general use, much like the cancer warning on a pack of cigarettes.

    It won't stop people from being careless, naive, or wild with their computers attached to the ether, but even if only a few poor souls escape the hell that is IE pop-up oblivion it would be worth i

  • Should post that at the entrance to State Parks (Score:5, Funny)

    by TubeSteak ( 669689 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @01:32PM (#15277590) Journal
    "Life is unpredictable and unsafe. The Park is dangerous. Many stories have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the newspapers. The Park is covered in slippery slopes with loose, slippery and unpredictable footing. The animals can make matters worse. Trolls are everywhere. You may fall, be spammed or suffer from a blocked road. There are hidden viruses and worms. You could break your leg. There are wild animals, which may be vicious, poisonous or carriers of dread diseases. These include viruses and worms. Plants can be poisonous as well. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. We do not inspect, supervise or maintain the Park, newspapers, roads or other features, natural or otherwise."

  • Too funny.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Doubting Maxwell ( 962422 ) <maxwell@residentcynic.net> on Saturday May 06, 2006 @01:35PM (#15277607) Homepage
    Too funny.

    Life should have a disclaimer, too. Before you leave the womb:

    End-User Life(tm) Agreement (EULA)

    This will probably suck. You agree not to sue God(tm) or any of His subsidiaries for any negative events that can and will happen.

    No guarantees against anything, including loss of life, limb, or property. Live at your own risk.

    This transaction is not reversible. You may not re-enter the Womb(tm) once you are born. Check one: [ ] Agree

    • This transaction is not reversible. You may not re-enter the Womb(tm) once you are born.

      This is /., I don't think re-entry is going to be much of an issue for most of the visitors here.

    • It does exist!!! (Score:5, Funny)

      by antdude ( 79039 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @02:19PM (#15277804) Homepage Journal
      Doubting Maxwell: There is one already! From my Web site [aqfl.net] (AQFL):

      Hmmph, I didn't know we had End User License Agreement (EULA) to live! Tempnexus's Broadband Reports Security forum thread [broadbandreports.com] mentioned a funny spoof for every human who was born. According to this EULA, we seems to come with spywares (God spies on us), and can be infected with bad stuff like virus and trojans. Ending EULA means terminating life. Here's a copy of the EULA:

      PLEASE READ this end-user license agreement ("EULA") carefully. By being born, you agree to be bound by the terms of this EULA. If you do not agree, do not exit womb and, if applicable, return to the place of conception for a full refund.

      1. GENERAL. This EULA is a legal agreement between you (either an individual or an entity) and the scientific or religious establishment of your choice ("God"). This EULA governs your Life, which includes all seconds from the time you are born until you are legally pronounced dead (. This EULA also governs the container supplied with your Life ("Body") and any support services ("miracles") relating to Life except as may be included in another agreement between you and God. An amendment or addendum to this EULA may be presented to you by your retail suppliers ("Parents").

      2. THE PARENT PROGRAM. All complaints and technical support requests should be addressed to your Parents, who may or may not, depending on the subscription level you have elected, offer you additional warranties. Parents are third-party components, and not subject to warranties under this EULA. God is not liable for the quality, competence, character, number, gender, species, ethnicity, religious affiliation, or presence/absence of your Parents, or for the quality of the relationship between them, if any, and does not supply technical support for Parental units. Any Parent may be terminated or exchanged at any time without notice and without recourse.

      3 CONSCIOUSNESS. To reduce piracy, God requires certain components to be activated. The license rights granted under this EULA are limited to the first five times you gain Consciousness ("Wake up") after you are Born unless you supply the information necessary to activate your Life. You may also need to reactivate your Life if you modify your Body or alter your Consciousness. God will not collect any personally identifiable information from your DNA during the activation process without your consent.

      4. DIGITAL RIGHTS MANAGEMENT. Content providers are using digital rights management technology to protect the integrity of their content so that their intellectual property, including copyright, in such content is not misappropriated. If your Brain's security has been compromised, content providers may request that God revoke your right to copy, display, and/or play protected content. Revocation does not alter your Brain's ability to access unprotected content, if any exists.

      5. OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCES. Your Life may not be shared or used concurrently among different Bodies.

      6. YOU ALSO AGREE:

      a. Not to remove or obscure any copyright, trademark or patent notices ("Birthmarks") that appear on the Body as delivered to you;

      b. To indemnify, hold harmless, and defend God from and against any claims or lawsuits, including attorneys' fees, that arise or result from the use or distribution of the Life;

      c. That God reserves all rights not expressly granted.

      3. RESERVATION OF RIGHTS AND OWNERSHIP. God reserves all rights not expressly granted to you in this EULA. The Life is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws and treaties. God or Its suppliers own the title, copyright, and other intellectual property rights in the Life and in any derivative works produced by you during the course of your Life. The Life is licensed, not sold.

      4. MEMORIES. You may make a single back-up copy of the Life. You may use one (1) back-up copy solely
    • Check one: [ ] Agree

      Lucky you. Mine was already checked by the time I read it.
    • Uhm, I dont think you need to make that EULA a Click-Thru... This seems more the realm of "By reading this, you explicitly agree to..." type of nastiness..

      But this however, brings up all sorts of issues.. Such as what language to write it in. We are not born speaking any single language... Okay, I am overthinging things..

      My bad.
    • Won't work, they'll just click through it, knowing they are below the legal age of consent anyway.
    • I tried getting an RMA from mum but she refused. I'm reporting her to the BBB and my local DA's office.
    • This will probably suck. You agree not to sue God(tm) or any of His subsidiaries for any negative events that can and will happen.

      No guarantees against anything, including loss of life, limb, or property. Live at your own risk.

      You are obviously not aware of the role of Government(tm) in Life(tm)

      With Government(tm), Life(tm) is guaranteed to be painless, easy, and rewarding for all involved.
    • Actually, my life is licensed under the GPL

  • Sounds like an AOL for Broadband commercial (Score:4, Funny)

    by Animats ( 122034 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @01:36PM (#15277611) Homepage
    "If you have an unprotected broadband connection, your computer is at risk for BTDs - Broadband Transmitted Dangers. BTDs are the hazardous and potentially harmful threats to your computer that can come through your high-speed broadband connection. Some of the most common BTDs include spam, spyware, pornography, viruses, Trojan horses, hackers and identity thieves. ...

    A broadband connection is more dangerous than narrowband because of the huge amount of information that is flowing into and out of your home through a high-speed conduit. In addition, most broadband connections are "always on," meaning there are more opportunities for dangerous elements to enter through your connection. Broadband users have to be more careful and aware than ever. ...

    Many people think that file-swapping services are an easy way to get free stuff like music, images, games and more. What you may not recognize is the very real threat that these services pose to you and your family. There are no quality controls in place on these unregulated services to ensure that you are getting only what you wanted. And worse, you might get a lot more than you bargained for, like spyware that secretly monitors your computer for third parties who may use the information for sales or even malicious purposes. ...

    Hackers and Identity Thieves are criminals that attempt to infiltrate your computer and steal vital and valuable personal information, such as credit card numbers. With an unprotected broadband connection, hackers can walk right into your home and snoop around your personal information. The results can be disastrous - and extremely expensive."

    - AOL "Unprotected broadband" [aolepk.com] promotion.

  • FUCKING BLOGSPAM (Score:3, Insightful)

    by linvir ( 970218 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @01:37PM (#15277616)
    This is really fucking lame. Worse, this is on the same level as Digg. The linked article is a blog post about a site. The actual content is at canton.elegal.ca [elegal.ca]. Get your fucking act together and stop linking to irrelevant blogs as if they were the news stories.

  • Full original version for the net (Score:3, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 06, 2006 @01:38PM (#15277619)
    as seen here

    http://www.canton.elegal.ca/archives/2006/05/new_d isclaimer.html [elegal.ca]

    WARNING

    Business is unpredictable and unsafe. The Internet is dangerous. Many blogs have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the blogs.

    The Internet is covered in slippery slopes with loose, slippery and unpredictable footing. The RIAA can make matters worse. Patent trolls are everywhere. You may fall, be spammed or suffer a DOS attack. There are hidden viruses and worms. You could break your computer. There is wild code, which may be vicious, poisonous or carriers of dread malware. These include viruses and worms. E-mail can be poisonous as well. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. We do not inspect, supervise or maintain the Internet, blogsphere, ISP's or other features, natural or otherwise.

    Real dangers are present even on the Web. E-commerce is not the mall. It can be, and is, steep, slippery and dangerous. Web features made or enhanced by humans, such as firewalls and spam filters (if any) can break, collapse, or otherwise fail catastrophically at any time. We don't promise to inspect, supervise or maintain them in any way. They may be negligently constructed or repaired. The web is unsafe, period. Live with it or stay away.

    Stay on trusted sites whenever possible. The terrain, in addition to being dangerous, is surprisingly complex. You may get lost. Carry food, water and an APU at all times.

    Ads for things you don't want and other objectionable content can arrive from nowhere. This can happen naturally, or be caused by people around you that are being used as bots. Spam and disgusting images of all sizes, including huge images, can arrive, or pop-up with no warning. Use of spam filters is advised for anyone approaching the Internet. They can be purchased or rented from us. They won't save you if you get hit by something big or on a port you left open. A whole DOS attack might collapse on you and squash you like a bug. Don't think it can't happen.

    Public opinion can be dangerous, regardless of the forecast. Be prepared with extra damage control, including press releases. Ticking off the blogsphere can kill you. The Streisand effect can turn a simple nastygram into a deathtrap.

    If you make hasty comments about those in high places (making unsupported comments that reduce the image of a person, often posted quickly and without thinking) without proper thought and, or allow your employees to do so, you are making a terrible mistake. Even if you know what you're doing, lots of things can go wrong and you may be sued for libel. It happens all the time.

    We do not provide rangers or security personnel. The other people on the web, including other visitors, our employees, agents, and guests, and anyone else who might sneak in, may be stupid, reckless, or otherwise dangerous. They may be mentally ill, criminally insane, drunk, using illegal drugs and/or armed with deadly malware and ready to use them. We aren't necessarily going to do anything about it. We refuse to take responsibility.

    If you surf at work, you may become pre-occupied with it. This is true whether you are experienced or not, trained or not, equipped or not, though training and equipment may help. It's a fact, surfing at work is extremely dangerous. If you don't like it, surf at home. You really shouldn't be doing it anyway. We do not provide supervision or instruction. We are not responsible for, and do not track how much time you surf at work (although we could if we wanted to.) As far as we know, your employer may find out and send you plunging to unemployment. There are countless tons of loose management staff ready to be dislodged and fall on you or someone else. There are any number of extremely and unusually dangerous conditions existing on and around the Web, and elsewhere on the Internet. We may or may not know about any specific haza

  • Original article (Score:2, Informative)

    by alphamugwump ( 918799 )
    The OA just linked to the Techdirt article.
    Personally, I thought the original disclaimer was more funny, but whatever.

    the disclaimer:
    http://www.canton.elegal.ca/archives/2006/05/new_d isclaimer.html [elegal.ca]

    The original disclaimer:
    http://www.nelsonrocks.org/disclaimer.html [nelsonrocks.org]
    • The original disclamer is necessary. A lot of people do not understand that a park like Nelson Rock's is not like Centeral Park. You can get killed by stupidity. One of the reasons I quit Boy Scouts was their inability to preform equipment checks in dangerous situations.

  • Slashdot Disclaimer (Score:5, Funny)

    by xmas2003 ( 739875 ) * on Saturday May 06, 2006 @01:39PM (#15277624) Homepage
    Slashdot has inaccurate stories.
    Slashdot has dupes.
    Slashdot has trolls and flamers.

    Non-subscribers entitled to a full refund if they aren't satisfied.

    • Slashdot has inaccurate stories. Slashdot has dupes. Slashdot has trolls and flamers.

      Hay, and don't forget, Slashdot has dupes!
      • >>Slashdot has inaccurate stories. Slashdot has dupes. Slashdot has trolls and flamers.

        >Hay, and don't forget, Slashdot has dupes!

        And sometimes they post a second article about the same subject.
      • Slashdot has inaccurate stories. Slashdot has dupes. Slashdot has trolls and flamers.

        Hay, and don't forget, Slashdot has dupes!
        Hay, and don't forget, Slashdot has trolls and flamers!
      • I always thought the funniest April Fools Joke would be a day of dupes. Just keep everything mostly normal. Only, have the same story posted over and over. Use different wording each time. Maybe have contradictory dupes.

        Then, at the end of the day, have a slashback covering the dupes.
    • >>Non-subscribers entitled to a full refund if they aren't satisfied.

      Awesome! I've probably viewed hundred of dollars of ads. Can't wait for that big fat check!
  • from the end of the disclaimer:
    "We may give you bad advice. Don't listen to us. In short, ENTER AND USE THE PRESERVE AT YOUR OWN RISK. And have fun!"
    this is the disclaimer's disclaim?

  • EULA for the American part of the net (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    the rest of the Internet will carry on regardless

  • ...and wear your sunscreen (Score:3, Funny)

    by Megane ( 129182 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @01:58PM (#15277708)
    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

    But trust me on the sunscreen. [wikipedia.org]

  • For one thing, it inherently dates it.

    Sure, it may be current now, but what about in 20 years?

  • Life may suck sometimes. Sometimes it sucks for me, other times maybe life sucks for you. Consider it a blessing if you get through any period of time without encountering something that sucks about life. This website is not responsible for the suckiness of your computer, your internet experience at large, or anything else you may encounter that sucks.

  • Read this post at your own risk... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by sweetnjguy29 ( 880256 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @02:11PM (#15277766) Journal
    From the original article @ http://www.nelsonrocks.org/disclaimer.html [nelsonrocks.org] :

    "By entering the Preserve, you are agreeing that we owe you no duty of care or any other duty...We do not and will not even try to keep the premises safe for any purpose. The premises are not safe for any purpose. This is no joke."

    I am no expert in West Virginia law, but if you invite a member of the general public onto your land, charge them a $40 fee, and know that the premises are not safe for any purpose, and then they die, your gonna get hit with a HUGE lawsuit. This disclaimer means next to nothing since land owners owe duties of care to people they invite onto their land. At the very least, they owe a duty to warn of extremely dangerous conditions - which they do, in a general sort of way.

    For example, on the main page, there is a very pretty picture of a bridge spanning a valley. As a user of the land, I have a reasonable expectation that the landowner has maintained the bridge, has checked it periodically, and would close off the bridge if it was too dangerous to use. Failure to do that is so negligent, that the disclaimer would be completely ineffective.

    Not to miss the forest from the trees, the original blog adapting this to the internet is cute. And I agree with the basic principle that you surf the net at your own risk. But I think that ISPs owe a duty of care to their customers to protect them from websites that distribute viruses, trojans, etc, perhaps with a pop-up or system announce, if they know the website or software is an issue. Hard to do, but they could make more of an effort to protect the less savvy amoung us.
    • Stu's a lawyer. The purpose of the disclaimer is to help fend off frivolous lawsuits, not defend against gross negligence. You cannot write a document that magically circumvenes existing law, in spirit or in letter, but you can point to a brutally straightforward disclaimer which customers are required to read and then sign, in the event that one of them files a lawsuit for actions undertaken of their own free will, and consequences thereby suffered.

      Go to Nelson Rocks and observe the variable quality of t
      • You cannot write a document that magically circumvenes existing law, in spirit or in letter...

        Of course you can. A good lawyer understands the extent of the law, and how far it can bend. You can disclaim TONS of stuff under the law. There are also many things which you can't disclaim. This contract goes WAY beyond what any reasonable person can agree to. It is so overbroad as to swallow every single cause of action that can be brought against it. If I was the Judge, I'd toss the whole thing out, it is
  • This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies. Beware of greeks bearing gifts. Beware of gifts bearing greeks. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Void where prohibited. Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people). Donde esta el bano. Beware of DOS. Look both ways before crossing the street. All your base are belong to us. Always wear safety belt. Always wear deodorant. Don't forget to breathe. If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people. This supersedes all previous notices.

    This modified disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.
  • We should put that in the internet's annual report.

  • The original... (Score:1, Redundant)

    by 222 ( 551054 ) *
    The original "impressive" disclaimer.

    I got a few laughs out of it ;)

    WARNING
    Nature is unpredictable and unsafe. Mountains are dangerous. Many books have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the books.

    Nelson Rocks Preserve is covered in steep terrain with loose, slippery and unstable footing. The weather can make matters worse. Sheer drops are everywhere. You may fall, be injured or die. There are hidden holes. You could break your leg. There are wild

  • Disclaimer for Linux (Score:5, Funny)

    by bananaendian ( 928499 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @02:24PM (#15277827) Homepage Journal
    Installing Linux is complex and difficult. Distros are halfbaked and unpredictable. Many books have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the books.

    The install process is covered in steep learning curves, slippery catches and unstable automated functions. Having a non-standard set of hardware will make matters worse. Mindbogling jargon is everywhere. You may fail, crash or otherwise fail catastrophically at any time. You could break your multi-boot partitions. There are hidden rules and things to know. Carry install disks, backups and a spare windows machine at all times.

    Asking for help won't work. The wild linux-know-it-all snobs are ready to bounce at your pitiful requests for explanations, with vicious, poisonous comments about newbies and reading the man pages. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. By using a free open source operating system, you are agreeing that we owe you no hint of advice or any other care. We promise you nothing. We do not and will not even try to keep the premises safe for any purpose. This is no joke.

    We won't even try to warn you about any dangerous or hazardous condition, specially if we know about it. We may or may not make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, and we may make matters worse! Sorry, we're not responsible. We may give you bad advice just for fun. So don't listen to us. In short, ENTER AND USE LINUX AT YOUR OWN RISK. And have fun!

    PS: Here is the original disclaimer [nelsonrocks.org] which is way more funnier and actually quite true considering the dangers at that Preserve. --- www.tribalnetworks.org

  • "When watching Uncyclopedia, do so in a well lit room, and do not sit too close to the TV. We are absolutely not accountable for your actions, especially if you try to use this information in a dark room. Consult a doctor if reading while pregnant, diabetic or hypersensitive to penicillin. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Void where prohibited. Where there is smoke there is fire. Swimming is the best form of exercise. Batteries not included. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Call your mother, she's worr
  • I like the disclaimer on parachutes:

    "This product made for no purpose whatsoever."

    Kinda describes the internet these days, don't you think?

  • How about? (Score:4, Funny)

    by K8Fan ( 37875 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @03:00PM (#15277969) Journal

    How about a classic one:

    "The Internet is full. Go away.
    • That would solve every problem on the internet. The people stupid enough to believe it are the types that made it an unhappy and worthless place to be.
  • The Internet General Public Disclaimer, Version 1.

  • New disclaimer? (Score:3, Funny)

    by springbox ( 853816 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @03:17PM (#15278036)
    I liked the old one [citizensun...nology.org] better

  • Life's gonna suck when you grow up (Score:3, Funny)

    by RiffRafff ( 234408 ) on Saturday May 06, 2006 @03:35PM (#15278119) Homepage
    Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up
    Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty bad right now
    Hey, if you know the words, sing along
    You're gonna have to mow the lawn, do the dishes, make your bed
    You're gonna have to go to school until you're seventeen
    It's gonna seem about three times as long as that
    You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun
    You might have to go to war when you get out of school
    Hey cheer up kids, it gets a lot worse
    You're gonna have to deal with stress, deal with stress, deal with stress
    You're gonna be a giant mess when you get back from the war
    Santa Claus does not exist, and there is no Easter Bunny
    You'll find out when you grow up that Big Bird isn't funny
    Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up
    Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty bad right now
    You're gonna end up smoking crack, on you're back, face the fact
    You're gonna end up hooked on smack and then you're gonna die
    And then you're gonna die

    Dennis Leary

    http://lyrics.rare-lyrics.com/D/Denis-Leary/Life's -Gonna-Suck.html [rare-lyrics.com]

  • 404 - Funny not found
  • Everything said about "The Internet" is just as true for "Not The Internet," because The Internet is not made of magic by the Good Witch of the West. The same people who lie in wait to take advantage of the naive on The Internet do so offline, too.

    Conversely, the same people who are easily conned offline are keeping spammers in business.

    Generally speaking, some people are out to get you, and some people will get taken. The medium is irrelevant.
  • I'm especially fond of the disclaimer on the hiking trails on Mount Washington. [mountwashington.com]

    STOP
    The area ahead has the worst weather in America. Many have died there from exposure, even in the summer. Turn back NOW if the weather is bad.

    WHITE MOUNTAIN NATIONAL FOREST
  • Since there is a disclaimer for the internet, how about one for The Bible [lernziel.de] as well.
  • I believe CUNT (Citizens United Negating Technology) from GTA:Liberty City Stories already gives us a decent disclaimer, and this was from the fictional year of 1998...

    Their site can be found at http://www.citizensunitednegatingtechnology.org/ [citizensun...nology.org]
  • Please accept my own comments, for what they are worth. After all, it is a laugh, but a fairly accurate one. Even my own additions do not make it all encompassing, but hopefully closer to the truth. http://www.geocities.com/white_knight_32_ks/discla imer.html [geocities.com]
  • I just saw a DHTML ad for Xerox cover the article for about 30 seconds before moving out of the way. That's far more intrusive and annoying than popups. I'm outta here......
  • The original disclaimer is funny. The "internet" disclaimer is tedious. Shockingly so.
  • While I was installing some AV softeware the other day I was informed that the company was not responsible if I chose to use the system on a weapons control system or nuclear power control system and they reccomended I didnt. Shucks, that software looked so good...shame I can't use it...LOL

  • I'd prefer:

    CAUTION:
     
    May contain data.
  • relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.
  • I spend about 4 hours yesterday wrting this disclaimer [bushidohacks.com] for my website, because there are a**holes out there who think they own The Internet and think they can tell people what they can or can not do based on the content posted on The Internet.

    Part of it is a disclaimer, the other part is a reminder to those businessmen that they only got involved with the Internet when they found out how much money could be made from it.

    Imagine all the science that man could benefit from but does not make a profit.

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I tell them to turn to the study of mathematics, for it is only there that they might escape the lusts of the flesh. -- Thomas Mann, "The Magic Mountain"

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