VW Beetle Fitted with a Jet Engine

6031769 writes "Ron Patrick has decided to go that little bit further by souping up his VW beetle with a jet engine, as reported by the San Francisco Chronicle. Serious planning went into the project. Patrick said, 'We did (computerized) structural analysis and we did stability analysis. And by God, you know what happens? It works!' Contrast with the Rocket Boy to see how it should not be done." Yes, the Darwin award winner was found to be bogus, but unlike the myth, Ron still lives!

Prior art

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey i have prior art! I should have patented this...

Signed,
Batman

Hmmm...

[talkingc]

Is there a bumper sticker that says: How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.

VW Thunder

[Metabolife]

Ah.. finally, uselessness done right!

Zoom.

[AlexanderDitto]

In Soviet Russia, beetle get smashed on windsheild. In America, Beetle smash YOU!

Is it me

[ad0gg]

Or does combining a volkswagon bug and a tail pipe so large that it make goatse jealous seem very.. nevermind.

Defensive driving

[CaptainCarrot]

From TFA:

Patrick says that once in a while he puts on a crash helmet (mainly as a sound muffler), takes the car out on nearby Highway 237 in the wee hours of the morning and fires it up for a brief and hopefully cop-free run.

I frequently travel home from work on Hwy. 237 in Sunnyvale in the wee hours of the morning. I think I'd better watch out for this guy. I doubt my unmodfied Hyundai Accent could keep up, or even get out of the way for that matter.

the Volkswagon Irre

[donaldGuy]

German for nutcase

"hopefully copfree run"

[ZachPruckowski]

Yeah, I'd hate to see that speeding ticket. It'd cost twice as much as the rocket car.

Sigh

[Anonymous Coward]

At least he didn't decide to suprise the owner with this upgrade, like this guy did... [engadget.com]

Re:Is it me

[1nsane0ne]

Is it just me or does seeing a car w/ a big exhaust and thinking of a mans ass seem very ....nevermind. And in regards to your sig, Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Re:Defensive driving

[Spacejock]

I doubt it too. On the other hand, you'd see this guy coming from miles away - sky lit up with the flames and forty patrol cars on his tail.

Painted on the Side

[Tablizer]

"Darwin Express"

Compensating for something?

[Excen]

It's one thing to be tricking out a Honda Civic (ricer) or IROC (white trash), but adding a jet engine to a new Beetle in San Francisco is the tuner equivalent of Richard Simmons dancing in an Elton John music video.

Fill 'er up

[butterwise]

This guy must be pretty confident the cost of gas will eventually come back down.

Re:Defensive driving

[jbrader]

Those mirrors on your car are for looking behind you.

the real question...

[blew_fantom]

but can it fly? and can you imagine the MPG on that thing? it would probably make jumbo jet sized SUV's jealous!

He still needs....

[daemonenwind]

Spinners, HID-headlights and a massive wing spoiler to go with that fat chrome tip.

Time to pimp das Auto! Amerikan engineering in da Haus, ja.

Re:Hmmm...

[Duhavid]

It actually says

"Ho"

Cause that is all you can read.

This is what /. is really about

[KarmaOverDogma]

covering the most awesome truth-is-stranger-than-fiction stuff where every geek looks and says in a Keanu Reeves voice: "Whoa..."

What a great article!

Sounds like some serious over-compensation...

[Esion Modnar]

for everybody pointing and laughing at his "chick" car with built-in flower vase. Now it's a jet-propelled chick car.

Oops

[wile_e_wonka]

Oops

Punch buggy jet blue!

[beoswulf]

Me "Punch buggy blue!"
gf "Oww! Where? I don't see it..."
me "Too slow!"

Re:Hmmm...

[Tablizer]

Is there a bumper sticker that says: How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.

At that speed it should say, 1-800-DRINK-SHIT
       

other way around

[Tablizer]

by souping up his VW beetle with a jet engine,

Shouldn't it be, "adding a VW-beetle to his jet engine"?
     

Re:VW Thunder

[AKAImBatman]

Don't worry, it won't last long. A German couple will be along shortly to destory the car.

"Time to unpimp zee auto!"

Its all good and fun...

[Toxicgonzo]

'till Ron Patrick hits a speed bump

Guide to life

[colmore]

a partial guide to life:

You can pretty much fuck around with your youth however you want. Dress crazy, sleep around, be poor, be rich, whatever. There comes a point -- let's say 30 -- when you need to get serious and start thinking about the future. I'm not talking about a job or investing or anything, I mean, do that stuff, but we're not covering that here. We're talking about identity and personality... who you are. There comes a time when reinventions of self are just tedious to your friends and family, so you need to pick a target for middle/old age, and then work, slowly, on gracefully transitioning from whoever you were at 29 into that guy.

I think this is my guy.

(idea cribbed somewhat from Vice magazine)

Re:VW Thunder

[Ohreally_factor]

But can you outrun linux on it?

Why not the 1967 Chevy Impala?

[CodeBuster]

The infamous Rocket Car story always specifies a late 1960s Chevy Impala as the pilot's first choice...

"But despite all these oversights, the story did specify that the car was a 1967 Chevy Impala. I think the reason this detail is always supplied is because it's critical to make the listener think the test pilot at least looked cool when he flew into the cliff. You'll never hear someone tell a story about a guy in a rocket-powered K-car or a Volkswagen Beetle. It has to be a car that deserves to have a rocket attached to it."

The Rocket Car Legend [rocketcarstory.com]

Re:Defensive driving

[chicagotypewriter]

...and those eyes are for looking in front of you, possibly even into the other lane if you are that skilled.

Re:"hopefully copfree run"

[ZachPruckowski]

yes, because you use your only missile to fire a warning shot...

Then what?

Re:Hmmm...

[Cl1mh4224rd]

Is there a bumper sticker that says: How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.

"If you can read this, start dialing the fire department."

Re:Its all good and fun...

[MadUndergrad]

Rear-ended? By what, a MiG?

Re:big deal

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, but can they claim such a ridicilously low MPG?

Re:Defensive driving

[Maradine]

I'm hoping he gets his direction straight . . . seeing as 237 T-bones into El Camino Real.

Ouch.

Jet-ta?

[diggem]

Why wouldn't he have put one of those in a Jetta? It seems much more appropriate to me.

Re:Defensive driving

[mrchaotica]

I doubt my unmodfied Hyundai Accent could keep up, or even get out of the way for that matter.

Hey, I drive an Accent too, and handling is the one thing it doesn't suck at!

Re:Defensive driving

[ultranova]

You can outrun a cop. However, you can't outrun a radio.

Sure you can. After all, the speed of electromagnetic radiation in atmosphere is less than c. Now, a VW Beetle might not be able to outrun light even in an atmosphere, but it certainly is not impossible.

Another possibility would be to just jam the radio. Or perhaps use a color-changing car paint and a license plate switcher.

Re:Defensive driving

[Dr. GeneMachine]

Sure you can. After all, the speed of electromagnetic radiation in atmosphere is less than c.
...
Or perhaps use a color-changing car paint

No need for the color changing paint - if you travel at that speed, you would be sufficiently red-shifted for the tailing cops. Just run, then park at the next lot - "No officer, I didn't see that red car speeding by."

Re:Defensive driving

[Skevin]

> Or perhaps use a color-changing car paint and a license plate switcher.

You don't need color-changing car paint. At relativistic speeds, the officer you are moving away from will phone his buddies to watch out for a dark red car which is very long. His buddies down the road will only see an oncoming *blue* car which is short but has elongated sides. A police chopper overhead will see you arrive at the officers ahead at the same time as the officer you just left, and will have to conclude there are two separate cars. If any officers decide to enter pursuit, you just turn around for a split second, and bam! Eighty subjective years will have gone by for the offending officers.

If any of this is confusing, just give me a call and we'll drive to Vegas together in my relativistically modified VW Bug... none of this jet engine crap. All I demand is that you're female and sexy.

Solomon

But will it go down a Ski-jump?

[de Siem]

As the Top Gear people did with this Mini with 4 rockets in the boot: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHsw66dz4A [youtube.com]

Re:Prior art

[bhtooefr]

I guess this was VW's prototype for the JETta? So, if it WAS a prototype, then would it violate any patents, seeing as they didn't put it into production? :P

(OK, OK, OK, I know, Jetta's the name of a wind... but I couldn't resist. ;))

Re:"hopefully copfree run"

[The Snowman]

Shock and awe, dude, shock and awe. The cops will surrender peacefully and let him go about his business.

Re:Defensive driving

[john83]

I doubt it too. On the other hand, you'd see this guy coming from miles away - sky lit up with the flames and forty patrol cars on his tail.

Yeah, but it's okay, he's on a mission from God.

Re:Defensive driving

[odyaws]

No need for the color changing paint - if you travel at that speed, you would be sufficiently red-shifted for the tailing cops.

My favorite bumper sticker ever (sighted at JPL): A big red sticker that says "If this sticker is blue, you're driving too fast!"

That's nothing!

[hullabalucination]

I dropped a VW Beetle motor into my F/A-18 Hornet.

It's kinda slow, though.

* * * * * *

You'll pay to know what you really think!
--Bob

obligatory quote

[nih]

woohoo! Herbie goes to SPACE!