Is Corporate Speak Invading Your IT Department? 490
Worse than Political Correctness asks: "With several years of system administration under my belt, I am moving toward a slightly different role at my company. I am going from a straight system administration role to more of a high-level systems architect for a mid-sized company. There have been several promotions in our department recently, and use of this slang is growing faster than a Dave Chappell bit. Right now, I feel like unless one studies and masters the use of these pretentious buzzwords and phrases, he/she will be run over by people with worse ideas but a nicer-sounding delivery. Is corporate speak a necessary evil? "
"I have noticed that as I deal more and more with upper management, selling them on products and direction, as well as with hardware/software vendors, the dreaded corporate speak slang is becoming part of my daily life. No longer is there more work to fill an already full plate, now there are 'opportunities for growth'. There are no company layoffs, there are 'realignments'. Difficult people are merely referred to as 'more challenging' than others. I dislike this non-speak as much as any person bred from a technical background. However, in order to match my new colleagues in the give and take of business life, phrases like 'functions', 'deliverables', and 'value-add' are finding their way into my vocabulary."
Is this just something one has to cope with in order to climb the corporate ladder? If you've found yourself in this position, what things did you do to cope?
Don't do that with folks you work with. (Score:1, Informative)
I have a hard time remembering all of the acronyms and buzzwords in IT - especially when one buzzword can mean different things in different contexts.
To make a long story short, I was labled a "retard" and canned.
When at work, know all the buzzwords so you can look intelligent - whether or not you are. Like it or not, techies are just as duped by image as anyone else. Nobody, especially in tech, wants to appear ignorant or stupid - it's a career ender.
Know the lingo, but you don't have to use it (Score:4, Informative)
Be aware, though, the jargon evolved for a reason. While doing contract Sarbanes-Oxley work for a major telcom, I found that meetings that used jargon were far more efficient than the meetings that didn't. That doesn't mean that everyone uses it meaningfully and responsibly, but when you're in a room with a group that does, it can be amazingly efficient.
NAS and NFS (Score:2, Informative)
NFS (Network File System) is a Filesystem layer exposed to clents for connecting to storage on the network, be they NAS or server-based storage.
There isn't necessarily a clear line between NAS and server-based storage, but there is a clear difference between NAS and NFS.
So? (Score:5, Informative)
All specialized realms have their own jargon. Managers deal with a corporation's resources, and employees are a resource that has to get hired, paid, evaluated and either promoted or fired. "Realignment" doesn't strictly mean "round of layoffs," but managers understand that realignments often result in layoffs. Management speak has its share of euphemisms: Sometimes managers have to do unpleasant things that will affect other people's lives. But for the most part, it is nothing more than a specialized vocabulary for dealing with resource issues.
But don't say "paradigm" if you can avoid it. Or "synergy." Finally, don't hesitate to use your pre-existing specialized vocabulary to bullshit your way through bullshit situations.
When they don't know or care they talk nonsense. (Score:4, Informative)
"Corporate speak" in technical companies is often due to the speaker not having much understanding of the technology, and not wanting to learn.
See this comment posted later in this story to test a company's credibility online [slashdot.org].
I'm surprised that no one has mentioned "Bullsh**t Bingo". There is a link to it at the bottom of that comment.
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Before, Saddam got Iraq oil profits & paid part to kill Iraqis. Now a few Americans share Iraq oil profits, & U.S. citizens pay to kill Iraqis. Improvement?
Re:You have to fight.. (Score:3, Informative)
Why Business People Speak Like Idiots : A Bullfighter's Guide (Hardcover)
by Brian Fugere, Chelsea Hardaway, Jon Warshawsky
ISBN: 0743269098
Corporate Speak at the LinuxWorld Expo (Score:3, Informative)
Corporate speak is basically the same type of "Rah-Rah" speech you here at Amway/Mary Kay/etc conventions.
That's for damned sure! I attended the LinuxWorld Expo in Boston last week and - unlike previous years - it was actually quite a challenge to find anyone willing (or able) to speak in any real detail. Indeed, the reason for such a phenomenon was quite clear: the exposition floor was crawling with company representatives from PR and Marketing, and knowledgeble technicians were, on the whole, those attendees asking the questions. The technical aspect (i.e. the real, worthwhile content) of the exposition has been contaminated with nothing but "corporate speak." **Technical information and performance can be distilled through a proper treatment of words to be well understood by those unacquainted with the details. However, language becomes a barrier for efficient communication when forced into a mode of artificial superficiality and generalization.
This is a message to the business world: Do away with the idiocies of corporate marketing dialogue and provide the information required by interested parties, and you will win more customers than otherwise. Please.
**An example: Early tuesday, just after Intel had finished getting situated, a friend and I sat down for what must have been one of their first presentations. The speaker was clearly an articulate man with many years in one of Intel's engineering divisions -- who had, of course, been elevated to management or marketing. However, while you might think that such experience would be invaluable to present a product, the result was anything but a lucid presentation of Intel's latest and greatest. Visibly uncomfortable, the rep rambled along, spouting an alphabet soup of acronyms intended to convey the latest Intel strategy to provide integrated products in all business areas, from storage and servers to office equipment and web presence. Fifteeen minutes later when the presentation concluded, I still didn't know what the hell he was trying to say other than 'we are planning to make things easier for businesses by making everything work smoothly together.'
Re:When in Rome... (Score:3, Informative)
You're missing the point. The realignment is the process, the layoffs are the (potential) result. The department I work in recently had some realignments due to fundamental changes in how the business we support worked. How many layoffs? Actually none - we're hiring like mad. Realignment means change, the results can vary.
Again, instead of saying "Product" or "Service", which is *exactly* what we're discussing here, you'll use the Web 2.0 version, namely "Deliverable".
Deliverable != product
A deliverable may be an application, or a document, or a memo, or a picture, or a class library, or a building. It's a generic term to mean "thing which you're delivering to me, the customer". Generic terms are not uncommon, and are not a bad thing. Deliverable has also been around a looooong time.
I'd say it's more important to convey ideas in plain english without resorting to flowery/trendy language to sound 'hip' or 'with it'. I guess I'm just old fashioned though... (not meant as a troll)
Sounding hip has nothing to do with it. I think it's important to convey ideas in a language the other people will understand. My business manager doesn't care that I'm 30% done with the db schema and that the initial cut of the GUI is being coded up by the swing guy. She want's to know that I'm on track with the deliverables. That's shorter, to the point, and gets the message across easily. It also lets her know that I'm concentrating on actual tangible things of value to her business, not padding my resume with trendy Web2.0 crap. See how the tables can turn?
Re:Be the Charismatic Straight Talker (Score:3, Informative)
"So what you're saying is, you've got a new plan?"
I don't bother telling them that they're being an idiot. I just make it very clear that I am going to reduce their twenty minutes of babble into one or two sentences. Furthermore I then proceed as if that's all they said - it's what the minutes will contain, if we're bothering to keep any, and it's the message I'll pass on to other people.
I find that pretty soon, people catch on to the fact that spending twenty minutes talking to me is a waste of both our time, and they learn to abbreviate themselves. If they want to tell me something complicated, they write it down (if you can't explain yourself in five minutes then I'm not going to remember what you said anyway) - and I send them back a much shorter version with a note attached: "Is this what you mean?". And the short version is the one I always refer to after that.
Basically, when people realise that all their noise is going to get filtered out right away, they stop delivering it. Probably because they don't want management to ask them why they needed an hour-long meeting to convey this paragraph of information. Bullshit cannot survive when it has to compete directly with clarity.
Unfortunately you have to "package" it. (Score:3, Informative)
No, that would not be very romantic. You want to take her out to a nice place to eat dressed up, present the ring while on a knee and have it in a nice box, maybe even wrapped in a nice ribbon.
Presenting any proposal to a group of your superiors is a bit like that. Not only do you want to have a good idea but you want to be able to sell it. The right words, the right time, and the right appearance will all help you to sell your idea.
I have a strong dislike for terms like "Best Practices" and "synergy" but I manage to keep from gagging when I use 'em (and I do, but as little as possible). My current bosses like what they call "solid numbers" which are really hard to come by when you are trying to convince them that they need to spend money on something like spyware detection. How can I give them hard numbers on the money we can save if we prevent a theft of information that leads to a loss? How many millions could we lose if spyware captured information that could lead to their accessing one of our bank accounts (say the one that is used for payroll for thousands of people)? The obvious answer is millions but the hard numbers answer is impossible to come by.
It all leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. It is a game that must be played by "their" rules even when you don't agree with them or know all of them. As an IT person, you are occasionally a salesperson for your team. When that role falls on your shoulders, you have to take the good with the bad and just do your best.
There are some words that are important to use very infrequently - they have so much power that they are like pulling out a handgun. Use them very infrequently and only when all other words have been used and found to be too weak. Those words are "Ethically" "Morally" and most importantly "Fiduciary Responsibility." They are words that reach down into the core of the manager's and director's souls (VP's don't have souls).
Re:You have to fight.. (Score:2, Informative)
Re:Be the Charismatic Straight Talker (Score:1, Informative)
which is why they'll stop talking to you, and when they stop talking to you, you're 'out of the loop' (another truly excellent biz-speak term that it tooks me years to understand from my techie bunker). Once you're 'out of the loop', you're not going to get promoted or even consulted on half the stuff that goes on. You'll appear ignorant and uninformed in meetings, and that's not a good place to be. Pretty soon you'll be a 'special projects manager' waiting in the departure lounge for the next realignment.
My advice to the original poster: if you're in a large company, you need friends, because you're only going to get any information from friends. Making friends is a matter of convincing them that you're 'their type of guy', and if that means wearing a comedy tie and a different pink shirt every day, you do it. OR you get out and 'explore other opportunities'
If you're in a small company then you can get by on results alone and you only need to talk this talk if you have large-corporation customers who you need to be friendly with.