Help for an MMORPG Addict? 559
A worried comrade asks: "A friend of mine has had what many of us (his peers) are starting to consider a serious problem that we are becoming very worried about. He is addicted to World of Warcraft, and not in the same way the rest of us are. While most of us are able to disconnect from the game to take care of our own affairs, he plays to the exclusion of his friends, his job (he calls in sick a lot, it is starting to get noticed) and his life. How do you help someone who is actively throwing their whole life away to play a game?"
How not to... (Score:5, Insightful)
Good luck on that. (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Dialup. (Score:3, Insightful)
He won't. Part of the addiction to a MMORPG is relating to your character(s), being your characters. The "real" life is so unimportant because your alter-ego in the game does the living for you, why would you need a "real" life out of the game when you already have such an interresting one inside of it?
Addicted people don't sell their chars, not their main characters anyway. Sold characters come either from chain-builders (who spend their times creating characters for them to sell), or by ex-addicts who suddenly realize how much they wasted in their characters and in the game and want some of it back.
And he probably knows the value of his character already, maybe with a margin of error under a dozen of cents.
He will stop eventually (Score:4, Insightful)
I also see people who are online in games constantly and I don't understand how anyone could possibly put up with the game for extended periods of time without taking any real breaks. (Going to the bathroom doesn't count.)
Any way you can (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:The usual... (Score:3, Insightful)
I agree (Score:5, Insightful)
MMOs provide an easy path, with clear rewards and punishments. RL doesn't usually provide any clear feedback on how you're doing in it.
Oh, and hallucinogens can be good for treating addiction.
Something, But Not Your Soul (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Insightful)
I was half-way sold to even cancelling the credit card my account used to be on. I had to make it as difficult as reasonably possible to become recidivist.
As cheesy as it sounds, the "death ritual" described above was cathartic and a way to say goodbye to my character. A way to realize none of these items truly mattered for a meaningful life. That it doesn't hurt to peel away like this.
Sounds good. (Score:4, Insightful)
Wait, wait, don't tell me .... back to the RPG?
Re:I've been there (Score:3, Insightful)
If your life is that bad, change it. Look for a new job. If you have to take a pay cut, its probably worth it. If your girlfriend isn't a positive thing in your life (if you don't enjoy most of the time you spend with her), dump her. Its better to be single than miserable.
I'd agree, but there are some personality types that are easily addicted. Other people just have a hard time finding balance betweek things. These are the people who do need to go cold turkey. You're right though, the first thing to do is try and get the guy out a bit more.
Actually, no, thats the second thing you need to do. The first thing you need to do is figure out if you really ought to butt in. There's nothing wrong with having a hobby you spend 20 or 30 hours a week on. It may just be that he really likes the game. Coming in late to work may be a sign of him de-emphasizing work for a variety of reasons (burning out, tired of the job, tired of the career, etc). Just because *you* think he's playing too much doesn't necessarily mean he is. What matters is what makes him happy with life. If thats gaming, so be it.
Live and let live (Score:5, Insightful)
Incidentally, my life has never particularly suffered as a result of the small amount of game addiction that I have experienced. Maybe my marks would have been a bit higher (I usually get low to mid A's and high B's, with the odd A+ for flavour) if I'd spent less time gaming and more time doing homework, but realistically, if I hadn't been gaming or wasting time doing other hardcore nerd stuff, I would have been out dancing, getting drunk, and having random unprotected sex like the average university student -- not exactly my cup of tea.
Quite honestly, having a chance to play a game, interact with people all over the world, roleplay, and gank the hell out of a bunch of noobs is a LOT more important to me than getting laid or frying a bunch of brain cells, even though the latter activities might be more "normal" or even "healthy." If gaming makes me happy and sex/drinking doesn't, my former friends don't need to intervene... if they truly care, they need to let me be happy on my own terms.
There are certainly people who do need help breaking a game addiction, specifically the ones who are actually depressed by the prospect of losing aspects of their real lives, but the point I'm trying to make is that not all game addicts either want or need help. I'd rather let people be happy doing what they love than force them to take part in more socially-accepted activities that I know they're going to hate. Maybe they will lose their jobs, marriages, and friends, but if they're still happy, why does it matter? Isn't it better to be unemployed, alone and happy than rich, married, and depressed?
(Sorry for being so incoherent, but I hope you'll get the idea -- I'm at work, and I'm sleepy from skating during my lunch break and spending the rest of the day coding, so my brain isn't exactly working at full capacity.)
You're kidding yourself (Score:2, Insightful)
You're also kidding yourself if you think the repetitive but spontaneous release of dopamine and endorphine isn't a chemical addiction. These games are designed to create that kind of response, and the symptoms of withdrawal show up in these cases on a very regular basis.
Re:Any way you can (Score:2, Insightful)
I think that's a very important point that people very often overlook. I've got an addictive personality myself, and had problems with games (Team Fortress) a few years back. Eventually I cut back and started working out a lot. What I realize now, but didn't then, is that I ended up just replacing one addiction with another. I was blowing off social events and schoolwork etc so I could spend more time in the gym.
As Shashi hints at, most forms of addiction, whether alcohol, games, drugs, film, sex, seem to have one thing in common: escapism.
It really bothers me when I think back to people yelling at me for playing games so much, but not noticing when I became addicted to something that was "good for me," which had similar negative side effects on my life.
Anyway, it's important to remember how complex and subtle these things can be, and that stopping playing videogames doesn't necessarily mean everything is fine.
Re:I've been there (Score:3, Insightful)
In their situation, the online gaming had started as a way for friends and family to get together and socialize across long distances. After a little while it became apparent that one of the people had developed an unhealthy addiction to the game - to the point that the parent post describes.
While I'm not familiar with the entire recovery process that they use, I know that a portion of the process was that everyone involved cancelled their accounts. i.e. if Karl is addicted to WoW, and he plays with Mary, Stan, and Jim, then Mary, Stan and Jim all cancelled their accounts in an effort to encourage karl to cancel.
In their situation it really helped 'karl' beat the addiction. They socially segregatted him in the online world, and would only talk to him in RL. While he still had online friends, some of the appeal was lost when his RL social network dropped away. He eventually realized that he too had a problem, and when he looked up from the keyboard he found a supportive network of family and friends (the same ones that he used to play with online) to help him in RL.
I feel that by creating a social void online that could only be filled by going offline that the process was hastened. You may experience different results.
Re:Live and let live (Score:1, Insightful)
It's hard to say whether or not this guy is healthy without knowing more about the situation. Yeah, there are a lot of unhealthy things that we do, but what matters most is degree. If a person stops taking care of him or herself because of an addiction, and that leads to health consequences, then you might consider the addiction to be a problem. Maybe this guy doesn't have that much of a problem. Who knows?
But I think a better question to lead in to a counterargument is, "Is it sustainable?" You may say that what this guy is doing is fine, he's enjoying himself, and who cares about all of the trappings of life that other people consider to be "normal" as long as he's living his own life his own way. But if the problem is as serious as the OP suggests, then what happens when this guy loses his job? And his friends? And his home? I'd say that if you end up living on the street because of an addiction (regardless of whether that addiction is to a video game or a drug or whatever), then there's a problem. And if it ever got to that point, I think the guy might just feel a little regret for the way the past few years had turned out, as he's hustling people for spare change on the subway.
As I say, it's all a matter of degree. Maybe his friends just think he plays too much WOW, but he's completely in control of the situation. If he is, then he'd probably be pretty annoyed at the insinuation that he's got a problem. And if he isn't in control, then it will take some time before he recognizes that he has a problem. Hopefully, that realization happens before he's irrevocably damaged his life.
Re:I've been there (Score:2, Insightful)
I really have a lot to say to Southpaw018 above. I totally call bullshit. Any "traditional addiction program" will include attendance of a 12-step fellowship as part of their program, so I believe he's never actually experienced a "traditional addiction program". Or perhaps the clinicians at the program diagnosed him as a non-addict, gave him something else they called "treatment" and took his parents money anyway.
Pseudoreligious is a misnomer. I am an agnostic member of a 12-step fellowship. My belief can be characterized as "there is some force in the universe that I don't entirely understand that creates particles, planets, biology, stars, etc.", not religious at all. In my 10+ years of clean time in this particular fellowship, I have shared my belief with others freely and I have never once had anyone even remotely suggest it was incorrect. If anyone did, I would simply tell them to go fuck themselves. As a result I conclude that 12-step fellowships lack dogma which is an essential ingredient of any religion or pseudo-religiion.
I'm not a member of AA, so I can't speak to the studies cited below. I can say however that generalizations a few sentences long taken without considering the entire context in which they were presented are somewhat suspect. I know hundreds of people that were previously addicted to a variety of chemicals who have been clean for many years now, some, like myself, have been clean the entire time without using drugs or alcohol ever again. Not every one who tries to get clean succeeds, that is true. While I cannot speak to any studies on AA, I can say anecdotally those broad sweeping statements listed in Wikipedia do not apply in all situations nor to all people.
12-step programs do not claim to "get anyone clean", or have the "cure all". Indeed, they all require an individual to possess "a desire to get clean" in order to call themselves a member. In my observation, many (but not all) of those that do not make it lack that basic desire, i.e., they're trying to save their marriage, house, job, comply with court orders, etc., and aren't there because they truly want to change. They're there because they think they can save their "stuff". The reason for this sole requirement for membership is that recovery is not possible without first admitting there is a problem, and possessing the desire to do something about it, because it takes a lot of work and a lot of willingness to change.
I disagree (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:He will stop eventually (Score:2, Insightful)
Will it cure itself? (Score:3, Insightful)
If WOW becomes a problem so that you lose your job, and income, eventually you will lose the means to play WOW. Self-solving problem.
Harsh way to solve an addiction, but in the end, it will solve itself. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start back up.
Steve
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:He will stop eventually (Score:2, Insightful)
Ah, the dopamine bullshit (Score:5, Insightful)
Get this: dopamine is just a non-specific "I'm happy" signal in your brain. No more, no less. It's not some dope hit as a reward, or whatever bullshit you may have heard from ignorant scare mongers. It's _the_ natural "I'm happy" signal that the brain uses. (Some drugs immitate its effects, yes, which is why they also make one happy. But that's the correct relationship: drugs are a substitute for the brain's normal chemicals, not the other way around.)
It's also non-specific. It doesn't fire just for MMOs, it fires every time you're glad about something. When the village gossip-monger found a good listener, or when the amateur photograph finds a cool thing to photograph, or when the Slashdot karma-whore sees that he's been moderated +5 Insightful... guess what? The exact same kind of dopamine response is involved. And not just in humans. When your cat is glad that she found a nice comfy place to sleep in, or when your dog is glad that the pack leader (i.e., you) gives him attention, yep, it's dopamine again.
And yes, you're sorta pre-addicted to it from even before you were born. Everyone seeks to do the things they find pleasant, as opposed to the things they dislike. And yes, the dopamine levels immediately start to decay so you'll have to find the next fun thing to do, instead of being happy for your whole life that you once played a game. Go figure.
Natural selection used that kind of stimulus to keep one doing the "good" things, as opposed to randomly doing dumb things. E.g., wolves have to feel glad about getting back near the pack, so they don't get spread.
So the only way to not feed that scary dopamine addiction would be to avoid having any fun in your life.
There is no such thing as being "addicted to MMOs" strictly, as is the case with other drugs. When you're addicted to, say, Alcohol or cigarettes, there is only one substance that can satisfy the addiction. In the "dopamine addiction" anything fun will work just as well.
Again, it's just that humans (and all other animals) are pre-"addicted" to doing fun stuff, and to avoid non-fun stuff. _Any_ fun stuff will do. Sure, some get in a rut about how they get their fun, but then non-gamers find their own ruts too. (E.g., the village gossip-monger can get stuck on looking for the next listener, or the Slashdot karma whore can get stuck on refreshing the page.) But from the dopamine point of view, _anything_ fun will trigger it just the same anyway. That's all.
And saying that "These games are designed to create that kind of response" is just a pretentious way of saying: games are designed to be fun. That's all.
It's not just computer games, and it's not just humans. Most animals have their own games, tailored around what natural selection pre-programmed them to find fun.
E.g., cats are predators, so the natural selection advantage was to be pre-programmed along the lines of "go chase something that moves and, if needed, fight it." So that's what they get, surprise, a dopamine hit for. So they have their own games where they wrestle each other. (When it looks like your cats are beating the living snot out of each other, chances are good that that's their idea of a game, not actual fighting.) Or everyone has played with their cat by making her chase something, be it a piece of paper on a string or a spot of light or whatever. Yep, that's dopamine for your cat. Somewhere in her feline brain there'll be a "yay, I chased it and caught it! I'm happy!" response, which means dopamine.
E.g., rabbits are prey and their fun stuff is along the lines of "yay, I successfully ran away from some menace". So if you observe them, you'll see that they actually play games along those lines. They actually chase each other, effectively playing the role of a "menace" for each other.
Etc.
So, yes, humans are pre-addicted to fun (_all_ humans, including non-gamers), and games are designed to be great fun. It doesn't sound as pretentious and pseudo-scientiffic as the "addiction to dopamine" bullshit, but that's really all there is to it. Big whopping surprise there.
Can I recommend a vacation? (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:You asked for it... (Score:5, Insightful)
Addiction it is not (Score:3, Insightful)
That aside, long as the guy eats, does his laundry etc why can't he sit on his ass playing his MMO 8+ hours every day?
Many have pointed out it's not the addiction to the game, it's how fucking boring real life can be. How tedious and monotonous it can be to get up every morning at the fucking crack of dawn before the sun is even up, to go to work where you'd more than likely be charged with doing some menial task. Often constricted with many rules such as no personal phone calls (you'll see what I mean in a moment) or radio or anything to take your mind off how fucking boring it is to slave away at whatever you are doing. And this is even assuming you have a nice deskjob. Think about the poor bastards doing the manual labor.
So you do your job for 8 hours every day, usually 5 maybe 6 days a week, year round. With no obligations to a personal family or children you are bound only to yourself. Why can't the guy sit at home and play his MMO? Sure, in some similarities, WoW (or other games) can be just as tedious as a real job. But in an MMO, you can chat with friends without being scolded by an employer, you can use any program you want such as Winamp or a voice comm to talk to people. Then there's the actual fun in the game, the tradeskilling/farming aside, I'm sure they find their real fun doing the PvP or end game PvE stuff with guildmates and friends to be the bread & butter of the game.
Let him play. Long as guy understands he needs to go to work, pay his bills, get a decent amount of sleep each day/night then he's good to go. Don't force him to "go out with friends" in real life. Ever consider some of us don't like fucking going out? I personally can't stand bars or bar hopping, or clubs etc And around here thats all there is for people in their mid 20's to do. Sure a girlfriend could benefit him but don't try to force him into something, thats something he and only he will choose to do at some point if he ever does.
And now for the constructive part (Score:3, Insightful)
If someone ends up retreating into a game, or into any other kind of compulsively seeking one kind of fun instead of dealing with RL, blaming it on the dopamine is addressing the symptom instead of the cause. The real cause there is the sharp contrast in how much fun that is in contrast to their RL problems. The real problem there is that basically they find that the rest of their life sucks and doesn't give them much reason for joy.
Even if you want to stick to the "dopamine addiction" pseudo-scientific explanation to the bitter end, the fact still remains: you won't get someone stuck on games who gets plenty of dopamine in their life otherwise. You won't get someone to call in sick to play MMO if they find their job interesting and fun.
E.g., I remember days back in university when I had real fun, and months of it, coding new and interesting stuff, and believe me, no game could have pulled me away from that. In fact, it was in my free time, instead of games. There was a challenge, there was the discovering new stuff, and there was the reward or achievement, i.e., much the same elements that make games fun. (And thus trigger the dopamine response.) Some of it was "multiplayer" too, involving competition or bragging rights among fellow students and members of a local wannabe-"hacker" group. (Bearing in mind that "hacker" still mostly meant talent and hard-work, rather than "cracker" or "script-kiddie", or at least for some people.) Being the only student whose parser for a term assignment was a full BASIC-like language _including_ an IDE and debugger (yeah, I was that much of an over-achiever) was more reward and bragging rights than any game could possibly offer. I even skipped a boring christmas party to work on that IDE.
Basically you won't see any game, and least of all a MMO, pulling someone from a fun job like that.
On the other hand, it's easy to seek refuge somewhere else (be it games, karma-whoring on slashdot, whatever) if your job sucks more ass than the vaccuum toilets on the space shuttle, your "friends" are boring and in fact not much more than "acquaintances", your girlfriend is a pain in the ass, the neighbours are nosy gits that only get suddenly friendly when they need you to clean their computer of spyware, etc.
I.e., to have that kind of a sharp contrast you need _two_ halves. No matter how much fun games may be, the alternatives still need to be a lot less fun to create that kind of clear-cut avoidance response.
In which case seeking refuge in a game (or in anything else) is really just the lowest resistance path. It's easier to just jump into the one activity that's fun, than to deal with what makes the rest of your life non-fun. E.g., it's easier to just day-dream from 9 to 5 through a crap job, and then jump into WoW, than quit and find a better job. It's easier to put Azeroth as a separation layer between you and your friends, even if you're in the same guild, than to find yourself real friends you have some common topics with.
And IMHO any kind of "cure" should address that underlying topic, rather than the symptom. Depriving someone of their sole source of fun, no matter how you may rationalize it as protecting them from some bullshit dopamine addiction, isn't solving their problems, it's just pushing them towards depression if nothing else fills that void. As long as they don't start dealing with their RL problems, being stuck with them 24h a day isn't an improvement in any form or shape.
I.e., basically the way is to help them find dopamine somewhere else, rather than protect them from it. Because again, the only way you could possibly keep someone dopamine-free is making sure they never have any joy in their life.
Which, come to think of it, seems to be the goal of some of the busibodies and moralistic groups.
Re:I agree (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:I've been there (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Ah, the dopamine bullshit (Score:5, Insightful)
However, there are other factors that make getting off an MMOG addiction harder then just finding something "more fun". The brain uses dopamine to indicate fun yes, but it also learns which things are fun making it all the more likely to do those things, and all the harder to stop. It takes time to learn a new fun activity because you have to beat not just the dopamine released by warcraft, but all the learning as well.
And there's another factor: quitting WOW also means coming to realization that you just flushed away the last 2 years of your youth is a soul crushing and therefun distinctly unfun experience. The new fun activity has to be more fun than WOW plus the unfun of coming to this epiphany.
Some players have this epiphany while still playing WOW, and at that point the game becomes not just fun, but an escape mechanism as well.
So nothing you've said is wrong, but there are a few additional wrinkles. Evolution has tacked a great deal of learning on top of our "fun detector" and WOW pushes all the right buttons.
UO addiction (Score:3, Insightful)
And one day, I just decided to quit. I've been unable to find it, but I was writing an article somewhere about the life of a UO player and by the time I had finished it I realized what a mess my life had become as a result of that game and decided to end it. I quit and didn't look back. It seemed to be an addiction, but not a dependancy. I didn't miss it once I'd quit, but I don't think it was something I could have handled in moderation, and for that reason I refuse to touch any MMORPGS no matter how much fun someone tells me one might be.
Ultimately, the decision was entirely mine, and certainly not suggested or motivated by anyone else. In fact, most of my friends at the time played the game and tried to discourage me from quitting. I really wouldn't know how to get someone else to quit, other than to find an activity that is enjoyable enough that it draws them away from the game, but you have to get them away from the game in both body and mind long enough for a competing interest to take hold. It's quite possible he realizes there's a problem and is just unsure about how to deal with it. You might have a tough sell recommending quitting, but it can be done.
-Restil
be a friend (Score:1, Insightful)
Forget about the girlfriend idea. As someone else has already pointed out it won't work because they wont' have anything in common, unless you find one of those fabled gamer chicks & are willing to pass her on.
The odds are he is probably lacking in social skills as well as a result of 'living' in the game. You need to engineer safe social situations where he will feel comfortable. Taking him out to 'hit the hot nite-spots' will most likely make him uncomfortable as he will not be able to relate to the people there.
Probably the most important thing is to tell him that you are worried. He probably is aware that there is a problem & is avoiding it by playing more & more. Do not tell him that he needs to stop playing WoW, because he doesn't need to stop. He just needs to be helped getting everything else in his life back up to standard.
Does he play other multi-player games? Do you know people who do LAN games regularly? Introduce him to other gamers. One of the biggest holes you can fall into is thinking that you are worthless & that other people won't like you & for your friend meeting people who aren't gamers will probably reinforce this idea in his mind. So get together with other gamers & get his mind off WoW for a bit so he can remember that there are other fun things too.
Remember it's not that he is addicted to WoW, its just that nothing else seems worthwhile. You need to remedy that. And he needs to know that you want to help, and that no-one else needs to know. Shame will not help him.
Re:I've been there (Score:2, Insightful)
The only person who can solve your problems is you. Once you really believe that you can make the changes necessary. If you don't believe that you are conning yourself.
Re:I've been there (Score:2, Insightful)
|players like him at game conventions (like dragon con or penny arcade con) so
| that maybe he can meet other people that also have the same problem and he
|can go "Geez.. That guy is really addicted to that game... Oh wait..."
One might call it "the circle of life"...where everybody compares themselves to everybody else all the time. With everyone trying to be better than their neighbour, the whole world looks like an M.C. Escher staircase, everyone trying to be one step higher than the guy next to them, ad infinitum.
Better to get some role models in real life and use them to guide you forwards. The most common role models (Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha) and all wise people treat real-life with its endless struggle for cars, mortgages and food to eat, as nothing more than a massive "game" too, and look down equally on all of them (describing them as deserving Hell) on people who merely played the game and got nothing else out of it.
The only way to benefit from life is to train yourself to be a better person, by learning from what life throws at you and doing good to others and gaining "points" for doing the right thing.
The way to deal with the world, according to religion, is to not give too much importance( ie dont make it the most important thing in your life) to it.
The world is more distracting and takes more out of you than any multiplayer game does. The rules are simple, so just play the game a little bit and take what you need from it, get a balanced perspective and show yourself for what you want to be, and move on.
googling religion and "world" or "material world" should give lots of tips on how religion talks about seeing through the video-game aspect of life in the world (or samsara, as the Buddhists call it.) Life and its rules can be studied, played and won-at as straightforwardly as any video game can.
Wait ten years and then see how wise that was. (Score:4, Insightful)
It matters because that contentment is temporary. Ten years later, when they've failed out of college and can't get anything other than a dead end job due to no qualifications and a string of firings due to not showing up at work, their future is going to look incredibly miserable. I have little sympathy for people who ruined their lives by having only looked at their immediate happiness instead of their long-term happiness and success.
Money won't make you happy, but poverty will make you miserable. People who can be happy while alone and penniless are rare in this world, and they're never people who are so wrapped up in some material trapping (like a game or booze or drugs) that they can't function in the real world.
Interventions always make the people involved angry and upset, but it's worth it to keep someone you care about from ruining their lives.
Quite honestly, having a chance to play a game, interact with people all over the world, roleplay, and gank the hell out of a bunch of noobs is a LOT more important to me...
I already didn't like you for suggesting that people be left to rot for their short-term happiness, but you're also a griefer who gets off on making the game miserable for new players too? What a prick.
My experience (Score:3, Insightful)
My history is something like this: enter university, do great. Find out about MUDs. Stop studying. Mistake: lie to parents about study results. Play MUD for three years, while the RL problems and the lies pile up. Stop playing. Finally confess to parents a year later. Spend next three years in a bad depression. Find a good psychologist. Spend next three years rebuilding some self confidence. Eventually, actually find a job and actually finish study. End result: 10 years mostly lost to MUD.
Could anyone have helped, early on? No way, I ignored those people. Besides, all my friends played too, and we were having tremendous fun (really! and it's where I learned how to code well). When not thinking about real life, and the pile of two years worth of mail I didn't dare to open.
If he's like me, he's feeling guilty about missing work and escaping from the guilt by playing more WoW. It's a death spiral. Almost everybody eventually gets out, but it can take years.
But, there is still hope. Are you people (his RL friends) also friends with him in game, ie on Teamspeak together? Then step 1 is to stop playing. All of you. He won't stop to visit you and see you playing; nor can you send him back to a RL where his friends aren't available much because they're playing a game he can't play. And if you don't quit, you'll just be talking about the game when he's around... So stop playing yourself, first. It's only a game to you, right? So that shouldn't be a problem.
Second, be very blunt to him. He needs to quit. At this point, he may choose to ignore you and avoid you from here on. If so, it's out of your hands.
Third, give him a good alternative - fun in real life. I prefer getting board games, booze and a bunch of people around a table regularly. Some girls too (mostly to improve the atmosphere, mixed company is more fun). Or do some outdoors stuff, or whatever... I volunteered for a student bar. Just make it seem worthwhile for him to give up his in game social relations.
And hey, at least it's not heroin. It's slightly cheaper and usually doesn't leave him dead at the end of the ride. It could be worse...
You think WoW is bad? Try golf! (Score:1, Insightful)
He's spend hundreds of thousands of dollars visiting different golf courses, buying golf equipment, golfing related artwork and posters, and of course the high country club membership fees.
Even so, nobody has recommended intervention for him, despite the fact that he spends what some may consider an unhealthy amount of time playing golf. Could it be that it is merely socially acceptable to play golf? When he and his friends skip work to play golf, they often call it a team building exercise and expense it. When he first started golfing heavily, the rewards came at a fast pace. He went from shooting something like 120 to under 100 very quickly. Getting his scores down to 80 took a bit longer. Since then, making small improvements to his game take much longer than that. Sounds sort of like an MMO....
Am I suggesting my father needs to quit playing golf? Hell no. It is a hobby he has enjoyed for years.
Some people are obsessive about their favorite sports teams, some people spend a lot of time with fantasy football leages, golf, tennis, etc. Some people prefer EQ or WoW. However, MMOs aren't as socially accepted, so we see a bunch of sensationalist stories about some idiot who decided to play for two weeks straight and then died of exhaustion, or who lost his job because he decided to skip work repeatedly in preference of video games. People have do this crap with other hobbies, and they just get written off as idiots by society.
Physical Health (Score:2, Insightful)
Also, IMHO, no one should get any points for replying to this topic. I came with nothing, and will be happy to leave with it.
Solution (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:Ah, the dopamine bullshit (Score:3, Insightful)
But it is entirely possible to play WoW, stop, look back, and think "Well, that was a fun way to spend my leisure time, what's next?" It doesn't always involve regret. Though I've since quit, I had fun in SWG and, aside from the grinding, I don't think my time was wasted - it was leisure time as well spent as watching TV or reading sci-fi novels. Maybe not as well spent as if I had been exercising, but we all have our indulgences
If you can play WoW responsibly, then it's just like instant messaging with friends, except you also have an avatar, and the chat room provides activities in which your avatars can interact and accomplish goals.
Like drinking alcohol, the key is to play MMORPG's responsibly, and also make it a social thing - the primary reason non-alcoholics go to bars is to be social, not to be drunk. Being drunk is just a way some people feel more free to be social. That's why they say you shouldn't drink alone, because then it's about the alcohol and you, not about socializing. Being drunk often makes people feel silly and comfortable with each other.
Likewise, becoming a powerful mage or sneaky rogue is a way people can feel more social, too. The tiniest kid can go become this big warrior, and stand between a dragon and his friends to protect them. Everyone can get together to work toward common accomplishments, and chat and laugh with each other all the while.
video game != life (Score:2, Insightful)
A video game is a pastime or even simply entertainment. Neither of these validate the compulsion, the addiction.
Sure, your not addicted. Then try stopping for a few weeks. What's that, you can but you don't want to? Do it anyways. If you can't, your an addict, plain and simple.
Now the other aspect of socializing is part of human nature. I'll admit though, I'm personally very anti-social. But I try my best and press on. I was bed ridden for weeks because of panic and anxiety disorder, so I do know completely the pain of social situations. Sure, I still have problems, but the difference between my problems and yours? I admit they exist and I make people aware of them. When friends around me know about my problems, they're much more willing to help me battle my demons.
The sad thing is, the ball is already in your court. Many of you have friends and family already noticing things and are willing to help. It takes a strong person to accept that help.
I've seen friends have to give up on loved ones because of gaming addictions. A close friend right now is battling with his wifes addiction to WoW...
Re:You asked for it... (Score:1, Insightful)
So another buddy and I bought WoW, and now the three of us play together in convenient, bite-sized chunks. Thus, instead of staying up until 4am every night running some raid with a bunch of strangers, the three of us generally roll together for a couple of hours twice a week. It's turned the obsession into a social action, not an addiction.
Now, of course, I have to resist the temptation to stay up until 4am etc...
When I was in college... (Score:3, Insightful)
Needless to say, when the port was turned back on, the Evercrack addictions came back in full force.
Personally, from seeing where the Evercrack addicts ended up after they quit, I think the addiction is really a symptom of problems that only trained medical professionals can help.
Perhaps the best thing you can do for your friend is guide him to a professional. (And accidentally cut his cable connection an hour before each appointment!)