New Star Wars TV Series Confirmed

merauder writes to tell us BBC News is reporting that the new Star Wars TV series is set to run at least 100 episodes. From the article: "The series will be set between episodes three and four of the film saga. It would cover the 20 years in the life of Luke Skywalker growing up that remains a mystery to most film-goers. McCallum said there would be 'a whole bunch of new characters' and the series would be 'much more dramatic and darker.'"

snark of the day :)

[B3ryllium]

Great! It should be about as interesting as Enterprise's first season. Yay!

Mysterious Future

[kevin_conaway]

Would a slashdot subscriber please look into the "mysterious future" to make sure that this won't get rolled back like Futurama?

Ah well, I never watched Star Trek anyway.

Oh noes

[voice_of_all_reason]

McCallum said there would be 'a whole bunch of new characters'

Meesa cries a bit at that ominous remark

only if

[tubbtubb]

I'm not going to watch it, unless Han shoots a new bounty hunter (first) at the opening of every single episode.

Only that will atone for Lucas's past sins.

The wrong 20 years.

[Tackhead]

Show me the 20 years of Anakin Skywalker between Episode III and IV. Show me the 20 years of Luke Skywalker following Episode VI. But this...

> It would cover the 20 years in the life of Luke Skywalker growing up that remains a mystery to most film-goers.

Ah, I see - the years when Luke started out as a whiny, snot-nosed kid to, umm...

Well, I guess there's nothing to see here, I'll move along.

I Can't Wait

[BRock97]

You thought moisture farming was fun and exciting before, wait until you see it in HD! Plus, I can't wait to see a permiere for the new season of the O.C. during the last five minutes of a Star Wars television episode!

Re:snark of the day :)

[flyingsquid]

I think I speak for geeks everywhere when I say that I just can't wait to see a younger, whinier Luke Skywalker.

Heh

[Moby Cock]

I feel A New Pessimism about the story that leads to A New Hope.

Re:Mysterious Future

[minginqunt]

I predict that six episodes in, we'll be marching on the Lucas Ranch and Jar Jar Hater Re-education Centre, waving burning sticks demanding this atrocity be pulled from our screens for the sake of humanity, trying to fight our way through legions of brainwashed Lucasites dressed in Ewok suits brainwashed and tooled up with chainsaws disguised as Light Sabres to protect The Bearded One from the angry marching Hordes.

As George Lucas climbs into his reproduction ATAT and shouts out the order to charge, "Yousa People Gonna Die! Dangah Ewoks" will be the last words YOU'LL EVER HEAR.

This will come to pass.

60 Second Version

[ndansmith]

<whine>
"But I was going to [location] to pick up some [items]!"
</whine>
ad nauseum

Great idea!

[Locke2005]

The long, slow, painful death of Jar-Jar should make for a great first season... but what are they going to do for the second season?

They should have done this sooner!

[Pitr]

Will Wheaton is too old to play the part now! ;)

It has a lot to live up to

[blibbler]

Everyone remembers how wonderful the previous starwars TV shows have been. I hope this lives up to the brilliance of "droids", and the Christmas special. I would like to see a "Luke in the Middle" sitcom style... except without any brothers... perhaps they could adopt a jawa.
later on, it could morph into a "the OC" style show, set in Mos Eisley... "the ME"

Re:snark of the day :)

[Golias]

Heh.

It would cover the 20 years in the life of Luke Skywalker growing up that remains a mystery to most film-goers.

Great. At last! 100 episodes of a farm boy fixing vaporators, shopping for power converters, and shooting at womp rats for cheap thrills.

And you just know that every last goddamn character that had anything to do with the ultimate destiny of the Empire will pass through Luke's parcel of desert before the series run is over. I've got ten bucks that says we see Fett before season 1 is over.

Re:Could've picked a better setting

[Moby Cock]

But we'll be able to watch Luke bulls-eye womprats in his T-16. Plus more epic and grand adventures!

much more dramatic and darker

[Expert Determination]

Does that mean that even more people will have their hands amputated? What does Lucas have against hands anyway?

Re:The wrong 20 years.

[Fhqwhgadss]

But what, pray tell, could be darker and more dramatic about Vader's life than 20 years moisture farming on Tattooine?

Obligatory Penny Arcade Strip...

[caenorhabditas]

"Next week, New Found Glory guest stars on a very special Star Wars...." [penny-arcade.com]

Re:only if

[Matimus]

I'm not going to watch it, unless Han shoots a new bounty hunter (first) at the opening of every single episode. Only that will atone for Lucas's past sins.

Only if by "New" you mean an infant he suspects might one day become a bounty hunter in addition to it being a different infant every week. In fact, I won't watch unless that is the plot for the entire series. They can call it "Star Wars: Han Solo Baby Bounty Hunter Hunter Chronicles".

Lucas "image"

[wolfponddelta]

If the photo accompanying the BBC article is any clue, Lucas is working hard to transform himself so he can guest star as Jabba in the series.

Uh-oh

[Reducer2001]

I have a bad feeling about this.

Re:The wrong 20 years.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hooray! We can finally see Luke go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!

100 episodes, eh?

[Rob T Firefly]

I predict that by the time episode 100 premieres, Lucas will have already re-released heavily re-edited "Special Editions" of episodes 1-47.

i'd rather see...

[rhesuspieces00]

jar jar binks die at the beginning of every episode, where by the beginning, i mean everything before the closing credits. each week, we are shown new and creative ways for jar jar to die slowly and painfully. For the first episode, I propose the use of any combination of at least 4 of the following: chain saws with dull rusty teeth, bolt cutters, horse syringes, ewoks, various acids and bases, hot molten stuff, pixie cups, and/or freddy kreuger.

In the second season, they kill George Lucas.

Re:A New Hope

[leenoble_uk]

Maybe Luke will lose his memory just before the droids arrive. That'd make it work.

Re:Could've picked a better setting

[Guppy06]

"Luke Skywalker is in fact just as experienced and battle-hardened as any character from Sailor Moon."

Mark Hamil in a girls' high school uniform?

Re:snark of the day :)

[hunterx11]

Really, in the last episode of Enterprise they should have sorted the whole mess out by going back in time and killing Berman.

whoops!

[Pfhorrest]

Ack... revoke my geek card and s/Fetts/Hutts. Gah.

Biggs & Luke Duke of Hazzard

[Loether]

It'll be like the Dukes of Hazzard... In Space. Luke & Biggs Duke. I can almost hear the song. Just the good old boys never meanin no harm... They steal Uncle Owen's land speeder and always get in trouble with the local dim witted imperials. Those crazy kids. Tuskan Raiders/Jawas/Hutts/Wamprats loads of fun for the whole family. How many times will the Blue Milk gag work? I started of in sarcastic mode now I'm looking forward to seeing it. oh well...

Re:A New Hope

[MyNameIsEarl]

Didn't you know that Obi Wan's lightsaber also acts as one of those doohickeys from Men in Black and can erase memories.

Re:snark of the day :)

[fatboy]

The moment I knew that Enterprise jumped the shark was the Ferengi episode, whom the federation had never seen before. Right. I call bullcrap.

Hey, I knew it jumped the shark from the beginning. There's singing in the theme song. This is Star Trek, THERE IS NO *SINGING* in Star Trek theme songs! (Even if lyrics have been written for it, you don't *SING* them on TV.)

Re:100 episodes... of...

[garethwi]

Perhaps it will be Malcolm in the Middle of Tatooine

Re:snark of the day :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, he was hot!

Product Placement

[MrSteveSD]

Darth Vader: "I see you have constructed a new lightsaber." Luke: "That's right. And I power it with new Duracell Ultra-Life Batteries." Darth Vader: "I see. wwwwhoooor poooooow" Luke: "You sound a bit congested. Why don't you try new Lemon-Flavor Beecham's Flu Powder?" Darth Vader: "I will, but later my son. Now I must text the Emperor on my new Blackberry 7100r." etc etc

Re:Follow Han, not Luke

[freeweed]

We called that series 'Firefly'.

You're right, it rocked.

Smallville Tatooine Graffiti County

[YHZ_MadMonk_CAN]

Great, we're going to see Berman try to recreate what people think is American teen culture (The OC, Fast'n'Furious, Clerks) on Tatooine using Luke Skywalker instead of Superman.

Watch Luke drag race his tricked-out Accura Skyhopper in Beggar's Canyon.

Watch Luke not get any at the Lookoff.

Watch Luke pine about the girl he never gets (who looks mysteriously like his sister) while some girl (probably a strong-willed red head) pines about Luke.

Watch Luke avoid disaster after disaster while the mysterious Imperial Governor's son lurks around and insists he and Luke are best friends.

I was going to say that Luke would battle giant carnivorous beavers but I don't think he's going to even get that close to getting any.

Hear that sound?

[scoser]

That is the sound of my childhood crying out as it is abused again and again.

Synopsis of the first few episodes.

[Mogomra]

They also released a synopsis of the first few episodes:

1 - Luke helps out on the farm, collecting moisture for the harvest.
2 - Luke helps out on the farm, collecting moisture for the harvest.
3 - Luke helps out on the farm, collecting moisture for the harvest.
4 - Luke helps out on the farm, fixing the family landspeeder.
5 - Treadwell goes on a rampage, and Luke and Owen have to put him down.

Sounds like gallons of fun.

Re:I'm tired of everyone bashing Jar Jar!!

[Vinnie_333]

Jar Jar: "Ooo, Meesa horny! Whe'r da white woman at!"

Drama

[pete-classic]

It would cover the 20 years in the life of Luke Skywalker growing up that remains a mystery to most film-goers.

McCallum said there would be "a whole bunch of new characters" and the series would be "much more dramatic and darker".

It seems only natural that the adolescent antics of a farm boy would be darker and more dramatic than his subsequent struggle to free the galaxy from the tyrannical grip of his father and an evil wizard.

(I want to drown George Lucas in Rick McCallum's blood.)

-Peter

Re:A New Hope

[daeley]

Didn't you know that Obi Wan's lightsaber also acts as one of those doohickeys from Men in Black and can erase memories.

From the neck up. ;)

Re:Not just Star Wars - Trek too

[TacNuke]

"Somewhere I've got a big box full of Trek paperbacks. I wonder what they'd fetch on EBay?"
 
  200 quatloos

Mmmm, stirred seeds and mixed metaphors...

[Hamster Lover]

Bail Organa & Mon Mothma stirring the seeds of rebellion.

Man, using metaphors is not rocket surgery.

Re:snark of the day :)

[captjc]

What I want to see:

Owen: I want you to clean these droids before supper.

Luke: But I wanted to go the the Toshi station and pick up some power converters.

a brief pause,
SLAP

Owen: If your gonna whine like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like one. Your Father was an obnoxious little bastard too.

People, it's not an action series!

[TCQuad]

Too much of the character's development in ANH starts with the premise of Luke as an inexperienced farmboy.

There won't be any conflict... The series will just be "Little House on the Tatooine Prairie".

Re:snark of the day :)

[iphayd]

Of course, this is going to be a sitcom, detailing the wacky adventures of Owen, Beru, Luke, and that crazy hermit Ben. Be ready for these episodes:

- Luke visits the cantina. Hilarity ensues.
- Luke buys drugs from the Jawas. Hilarity ensues.
- Luke goes through puberty. Hilarity ensues.
- Owen and Beru go out of town, Luke has a party. Hilarity ensues.
- Luke finds a lightsaber at Ben's, pretends it a sword. Meaningful life lesson ensues.
- Luke gets a girlfriend. He then wakes from his drug-induced dream.
- Luke and family go to Hoth on vacation. Luke licks cold weather maintenance droid. Hilarity ensues.
- Luke questions his sexuality. Steals Ben's Lightsaber again.

Of course, these are not all of the episodes planned, but they will account for most of the 100 episodes, due to slight retelling of the same story, with the same jokes, over and over again.

Re:It's simple

[WCityMike]

Lucas is bad at writing and directing. He really struggles to bring any sense of emotion to the characters. Whenever you see emotion it feels like Soap Opera camp.

"Oh, Ani, hold me! Hold me like you did at the lake on Naboo!"

Indeed.

Re:It's simple

[gnarlin]

Oh, Ani, use the force again!

Re:snark of the day :)

[1u3hr]

Umm, does that mean it's like an ABC after-school special? Or maybe like Dawson's Creek with more sand? Smallville with stormtroopers?

It'll be The Dukes of Tattooine with a flying General Lee. Boss Jabba Hogg, Uncle Jesse Kenobi...

Re:Could've picked a better setting

[Blackforge]

I do have mod points right now, but there's no selection for "-666 Points Burn in Hell you dirty bastard!"

Mark Hamil, uniform... EEP! While he's strutting his stuff like Britney Spears ;)

BAHAHAHAHA!

Re:Worst. Idea. Ever.

[Tezkah]

Honk if you love Jes....er.... Worst. Idea. Ever.

Re:snark of the day :)

[ErroneousBee]

Tune in next week to Meesa Binks get incinerated ... )

Ive seen some scripts for the New ST Series, and the whole series is constructed around the idea that Jar Jar gets stuck in a time bubble. Every episode starts with him arriving on Tatooine, and ends with his death, then the time bubble collapses and hes alive and well and about to die in the next eposode.

One particularly touching script had him run over by a speeder in the opening sequence, with the rest of the episode charting his slow painful progress dragging his broken body across the street to safety, being repeatedly hit and stepped upon by passing traffic. He makes it to the sidewalk, only to be crushed when something falls from the back of a speeder.

I think the series is going to be a great success.