Microsoft To Construct iPod/DS/PSP Killer

Karsten writes "According to The Mercury News Microsoft is developing a PSP/DS/GBA/iPod-killer. J. Allard is leading the project." J. Allard is the man behind the Xbox, and from looking at the article it sounds like it's at least a year before this device, if it hits daylight, would be coming.

killers

[gEvil (beta)]

Dammit, can't they make a Windows killer?

killer...

[Anonymous Coward]

Hold your breath while waiting, and it will be a people killer too!

Obligatory

[gentimjs]

Not to troll but .. I'm sorry, its from Microsoft .. its surely going to have an Intel chip (Mobile EXTREEEEEEEEME Hunger Eddition) and run WindowsCE(meNT) loaded with more DRM than you thought possible from a mobile .. the only thing this is going to "kill" is batteries ...

Home Depot already have one

[Timo_UK]

in the tools section. It's called sledgehammer and is guaranteed to kill all of those devices in one shot.

Don't think I want...

[__aaclcg7560]

I don't think I want an X-shaped console with a glowing green screen. I got enough objects in my pants that glow green in the dark.

e-sassination device

[fatduck]

If you'd bother to RTFA you'd know that the device in question is in fact a full-spectrum multi-wavelength high-energy data scrambler that will actually melt the circuits of any iPod/DS/GBA/PSP or Pacemaker within 100 meters. Can't wait to hear about the military applications.

Happy

[3CRanch]

This should be a happy occasion!

Think about it...just another platform to port Linux to ;)

Re:killers

[fatduck]

They are; it's called Vista.

Re:killers

[mlk]

A brick kills most windows

Re:killers

[minginqunt]

He's done it before, and he'll do it again.

Steve Ballmer's going to fucking kill Goog^H^H^H^HiPod^H^H^H^HPSP^H^H^HDS^H^HTHE WHOLE WORLD!!!

Re:hmm... no

[cowscows]

Pfft, Quiet you naysayer! I don't think they're being ambitious enough! This is Microsoft we're talking about! The greatest of all great companies in the greatest of all great nations! Not only will this device accomplish all that has been listed, but following in the usual Microsoft tradition, incredible new features will likely be added between now and the eventual, ontime release of this device. Don't be surprised if this device solves our fossil fuel dependence problems. It may very well cure AIDS. And then we can give copies of the device to everyone in the middle east, so they'll stop being angry towards the USA.

Come on, we're not talking about a tiny hardware company like Apple, or a rowdy upstart like Google. We're talking about Microsoft, a hard working bunch of people who have, through sheer innovation and stringent quality standards, created the technological paradise which most of us live in every day. Show a little respect to the company that gave us marvels such as text editors, web browsers, and beautiful graphical interfaces.

If the Xbox has taught us anything, it's that Microsoft's hardware will be at least as slick as their software, and all of their products share an impressive efficiency in terms of resource usage. The future truly is now, and you're lucky to be alive during these exciting times.

Re:The killers..

[MustardMan]

The killers? hmm...

Somebody told me, that you had a handheld, that looked like a Newton, that I had in february of last year...

I'm sorry, it's early and wouldn't leave my head. Will it be stoning, or am I to be drawn and quartered?

Early Ad Sneak Preview

[Mignon]

Great timing. I found this on Google last night:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3609953966 5548298 [google.com]

Why not just go the whole nine yards?

[tukkayoot]

Microsoft should just go the whole nine and make it a cell phone killer as well. Also, include some scanners in the hardware so it can function as a preemptive tricorder killer.

Also, they should be sure to implement a fold-out cutting blade, screwdriver, corkscrew, can opener, toothpick and nail file so it can kill swiss army knives as well.

This is the product the global marketplace has been waiting for.

Another one for the Ipod Killer Museum ...

[amelith]

Exhibit no 2213 is housed in the west wing of the museum. This is a late (very late) 2007 Ipod Killer made by a now defunct company from Redmond that some people on the tour may remember. Like many of our other 3000 exhibits it suffered from being late to market, overhyped and having a battery life of approximately 27 seconds. The user interface also attracted severe criticism, based as it was on their then popular desktop operating system, that I believe was called "Panes XP" or something.

Move along please, there's always plenty to see in the Ipod Killer Museum. New Exhibits are arriving all the time!

Don't tell me...

[oahazmatt]

...Microsoft bought the rights to Gizmondo, didn't they?

Re:killers

[gEvil (beta)]

Why can't they just make something that goes around hugging everything ..

They did. His name was Clippy.

Re:Might not be 'killers'...

[baker_tony]

You were brought up on a farm, weren't you?! :-)

Re:Replace 'Killer' with 'Competitor' please

[Bloke down the pub]

We don't need or want new products to kill anything.

Speak for yourself. My bloody roses are covered with aphids.

Re:Microsofts Linux/OSX/BSD/AIX killer

[Pichu0102]

You forgot Microsoft's new product: The Chair Killer.

Yanno

[Odin_Tiger]

Yanno what? From now on, let's just keep a handy supply of large trout on hand, and use them to beat anyone who uses the phrase 'iPod killer' to death.

Microsoft killed SPAM

[guitaristx]

This new thingy is going to kill the iPod just like Microsoft killed SPAM - they're going to redefine 'kill'. I suppose they'll put an EKG on an iPod and declare it dead.

iPod/DS/PSP Killer?

[Khyber]

Oh, shit, Miscrosoft is releasing Windows for these platforms, aren't they?

Re:hmm... no

[SnarfQuest]

Don't worry about the battery life. It comes with it's own transformer, but you have to be carful not to put it on carpet because that will block the fan ports.

Re:killers

[Directrix1]

And Windows gives birth to most bricks. Think about it.

Re:killers

[shotfeel]

Dammit, can't they make a Windows killer?

No need to. On some of my systems, Windows is quite adept at dying all on its own.