SCOTUS To Hear Patentable Thought Case

skayell writes "The Supreme Court of the United States will hear a landmark patent case involving whether or not thoughts and relationships are patentable. Michael Crichton's essay in the New York Times attempts a thoughtful summary of Metabolite's primary assertion: they not only own the connection between homocysteine levels in the blood and vitamin B12 deficiency, but also any thought connecting the two."

crap

[Janek Kozicki]

this is the first time I used a tag crap, you can follow if you wish :)

are you thinking what i'm thinking?

[dirtyhippie]

Guy 1: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Guy 2: "Yes!"

Guy 1: "I'll see you in court, asshole."

Another step on the road

[say]

We don't need no education
('cause) Metabolite does thought control
Science, progress - all is futile
People, leave the firms alone!
People! Leave the firms alone!
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

Out of control IP makes me wonder if

[vrimj]

maybe the tower of Babel was actually a restrictive IP regime... someone got copyright on the alphabet so someone else had to reverse-engineer to avoid licensing fees

How you know you're at the wretched extreme

[HangingChad]

The Supreme Court of the United States will hear a landmark patent case involving whether or not thoughts and relationships are patentable.

You'd think with all the big issues facing the country something like this wouldn't pass the laugh test. Yet it's made it all the way to the Supreme Court.

If thoughts turn out to be patentable, then I'm going to be first in line to patent any sexual or obscene thought involving a virtualization of another human being, animal or farm implement used for or engaging in sexual activity, for the purpose of self-stimulation.

Then I'm going sue every one of you wankers on /. :) It'll give whole new meaning to the phrase "penny for your thoughts".

Re:Everything should be patented

[Kadin2048]

That'll work well, until the injunction on infringing on my patent for "An Apparatus and Process for Extracting Oxygen from a Low-Density Fluid Using Positive and Negative Pressure Differentials" comes into effect.

Seventeen years is a long time.

simple really...

[srussia]

The USPTO has a page clearly explaining what can be patented: [uspto.gov]

A few choice excerpts:
In the language of the statute, any person who "invents or discovers any new and useful process, machine, manufacture, or composition of matter, or any new and useful improvement thereof, may obtain a patent,"

The terms are then defined:
The word "process" is defined by law as a process, act or method, and primarily includes industrial or technical processes.
So "process" really means processes, and "acts" and "methods" as well.

The term "machine" used in the statute needs no explanation.
Gee, thanks for that "explanation".

Some more gems:
The term "manufacture" refers to articles which are made, and includes all manufactured articles.
These classes of subject matter taken together include practically everything which is made by man and the processes for making the products.
The term "useful" in this connection refers to the condition that the subject matter has a useful purpose

These guys really need a primer on "circular definitions".

I'll be happy to start them off: Circular definitions are definitions that are, ya know, circular.

patent invention

[backwardMechanic]

I'm going to patent the idea of inventing stuff. Ha!

inciting others to infringe thought patents

[Eric Smith]

Michael Crichton's essay in the New York Times attempts a thoughtful summary of Metabolite's primary assertion: they not only own the connection between homocysteine levels in the blood and vitamin B12 deficiency, but also any thought connecting the two

Great. So MC has not only infringed the Metabolite patent by thinking about the connection between homocysteine levels and vitamin B12 deficiency, but by publishing the article he has incited all the readers to also infringe the patent. And now I'm probably inciting more people to infringe.

Re:The first thin wedge

[bcmg150]

I have a dream ..... And I patented it.

I agree! Now slashdot is...

[Anonymous Coward]

... breaking the law.

Elevated homocysteine is linked to B-12 deficiency, so doctors should test homocysteine levels to see whether the patient needs vitamins.

Shiat, my bad.

Re:Everything should be patented

[Comatose51]

Let's just have patents on EVERYTHING, every gene, every molecule, every action you could ever think of. Then in 17 years (or whatever the time limit is) when they expire, we can forget all this patent bullshit and just get on with life again. I'd be willing to wait those 17 years if the patent system would just expire.

Screw you buddy! Do you know how difficult it is to not have sex or, in the case of the Slashdot crowd, masturbate for 17 years

Re:How you know you're at the wretched extreme

[mrchaotica]

So what? Do you actually think the patent office cares?!

So...

[VisceralLogic]

I'd try to figure out what that means for me, but I'm afraid I'd violate a patent in so doing. I guess I'll just stop thinking to be on the safe side...

Re:Star Trek's Patents (Real!)

[Derling Whirvish]

Those are design patents... moron.

Who's the moron? I never said nor implied they were not design patents. I said they were "Star Trek patents" -- which they are. The "real" in the subject doesn't refer to them being patents on working machines, it refers to them being actually filed in the patent office. They are real design patents as opposed to photoshop fakery patents. Moron. Is English not your first language?