PTO Requests Working Model of Warp Drive

aborchers writes "According to Patently-O: Patent Law Blog, the PTO has requested a working model of a Warp Drive for which a patent was recently applied. From the article, "Among other rejections, the Examiner has asserted a rejection under 35 U.S.C. 101 for lack of utility -- finding that the invention is inoperable." At least one examiner is paying attention!"

Wont they be suprised...

[Anonymous Coward]

If they actually turn something in..

About darn time they paid attention.

[AltGrendel]

Now I've got some time to finish mine.

I have a working model.

[kote-men-do]

I have a working model, but unfortunately it's stranded a couple of galaxies away. I can give you directions though, would that suffice?

An example of a good patent

[MarkByers]

This would be an example of a useful patent, if only it were true.

My rights online

[Musteval]

Thank you for this useful insight into my online rights. Keep up the good work, slashdot! :)

Re:j public requests release from corepirate nazis

[JustNiz]

spelling:0 composition:0 see me.

Re:Wont they be suprised...

[Spy der Mann]

If they actually turn something in..

Then I wouldn't be surprised if the inventor begins with "Greetings, hoomans!"

So this is how he makes his $$$

[JoeGee]

Warp engine designer: it's nice to see the time cube guy [timecube.com] has a day job.

Legal Action

[turtleAJ]

Hello Earthlings,

I'd like to inform you, that ony of my many clients has in posession the MWOCPT titles to all kinds of warp drives. I think that if you where to see the patent, you'd understand we've got everything covered. Obviously, you (Earth) haven't developed gravity control yet... so, because of evolutionary "process" clauses in the Federation, we can't show you the patent. Besides... it's a 18.65TB PDF.

It's quite obvious that all your human efforts will fail, until you attaint a little bit of element 115. I'll leave you with that. Just so you know, the Orion Confederation doesn't take lightly to violations of Intellectual Property.

Thank you very much for your attention, and I hope this doesn't repeat itself,

-Stitch
Presently @ MilkyWay.Sol.3 (aka, Planet Earth)

BTW: If you want to survive the next galactical gravity fabric quake, we suggest you hurry up your nanotechnology advances...

Re:I have a working model.

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you sure it's working?

Re:About darn time they paid attention.

[linj]

You're a bit behind, aren't you.
MacGyver built his already on episode 842, out of monkey blood and a half sprig of mint!

Proposal

[m33p]

Dear Friend, I am Mr Andrew Peter Worsley and I have an important business proposition for you. On December 12th, 2001, while testing my Warp Drive (patent pending) transport, the ship was stranded in Galaxy N37 due to technical difficulties. The patent office is now demanding that I show it to them before they will approve my patent. But unfortunately, I spent my last penny developing the prototype! As you can see, this patent would be very valuable, and recovering my ship would be a good business investment. I am currently lookinging for investors to gather the $35,273,000 needed to recover the ship. etc, etc, etc... Awaiting your urgent reply. Thanks and regards.

Add your punchline here.

[kitzilla]

Let's get started, shall we? Warped time is a-wasting:

1. It should be no problem building a working prototype of this thing -- once they find a supply of dilithium crystals.

2. Cap'n, she canna work in her current condition. Impulse is the best I can give ya!

3. ?time warp engines these mean you do What

Take it away ...

Solution

[hool5400]

Just call it a software warp drive, or even just include the word software somewhere in the application. Just watch the bastard fly throught the application process.

I like the part in the technical example

[HotNeedleOfInquiry]

Where you rotate a superconductive sphere 1 meter in diameter 1,500,000 rpm. That'll work.

I bet that

[g0bshiTe]

that clerk is a /. reader.

Even if presented with a working model...

[bsandersen]

Based on my experience with the Patent Office, even if they were presented with a working model it would still take them four years to process it.

-- Scott

Re:Wont they be suprised...

[skoaldipper]

> If they actually turn something in...

or if the PTO dusts off some shelf and discovers this patent was actually granted to Worsley and Twist back in 1836 as well.

Re:About darn time they paid attention.

[skoaldipper]

Yeah, I remember that show. I have all the seasons on DVD with the director's cut and interviews. The funny thing is, in 842 they originally had MacGyver using an old snake skin and banana peel instead, but for some strange reason, all the working prototypes in rehersal kept transporting the MacGyver crew on location to the Quantum Leap studios instead.

Re:Legal Action

[jimm]

This has to be a fake. The email address should end with @3.Sol.MilkyWay, not @MilkyWay.Sol.3.

Re:I have a working model.

[IdleTime]

Ahhh... The wonders of the English Language.

I believe you meant to say "I HAD a working model...". Because if you HAVE a working model it can't be stranded in a different galaxy, but the one you had, before it became stranded......

Re:Proposal

[Anonymous Coward]

Fortunately I just got some emails from some very nice people in Africa that have a large sum of money they are willing to split with me. Maybe I should hook them up.

Whoaaaa

[Joffy]

The Phantom of the Opera wants a warp drive?

Re:Too bad...

[SEWilco]

"How do you store a working model of a neuclear reactor?"

Inside the working models of radiation shielding.

Re:j public requests release from corepirate nazis

[Bazzalisk]

What's that skip? Timmy's trapped down the well?

Re:Actually let them patent it now

[Isotopian]

If someone builds a warp drive out of the blue, I predict the first major space station built using it will be called the NEO-PO. For Near Earth Orbit Patent Office.

Re:About darn time they paid attention.

[Foo2rama]

I thought he ended up in some warped reality, fighting Egyptian gods...

Re:Dumb question

[Bombula]

Um...I don't know many products that take 100 years to take to market.

Well, I was thinking this guy's warp drive, for one.

Re:I like the part in the technical example

[B3ryllium]

No, it's far worse than that.

The only thing that could possibly power it is ... antimatter hamsters.

Re:Add your punchline here.

[adric]

Due to budget cuts, we're forced to replace the dilithium with Folgers crystals!

Re:Proposal - THIS IS A FAKE!!!!!

[atrocious cowpat]

"Dear Friend, I am Mr Andrew Peter Worsley and I have an important business proposition for you. [...]"

THIS IS AN OBVIOUS FAKE!!!! EVERYBODY KNOWS, THAT ANY SERIOUS BUSINESS PROPOSAL WOULD BE IN CAPITAL LETTERS (and if weren't for that darn Slashdot-"Lameness-Filter" this joke could actually have worked the way I intended it),

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
DR. CLEMENT OKON
(CURRENTLY USING THE SLASHDOT ACCOUNT OF MY GOOD FRIEND ATROCIOUS COWPAT)

Re:I like the part in the technical example

[sasdrtx]

Contrary to conventional wisdom, all 1m diameter spheres have the same diameter.

Dupes

[Bob_Villa]

You forgot about dupes of course! We'll end up with duplicate patents using your method.

Re:Wont they be suprised...

[WWWWolf]

"Hello, Hunam! What would you like to threaten me about today?" =)