Aluminum Foil Hats Will Not Stop "Them" 433
Otter writes "A study at MIT has found that aluminum foil headwear ("Among a fringe community of paranoids..the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals") actually amplifies certain frequency bands allocated to the US government, as well as a mobile phone range, and is largely ineffective through the rest of the radio spectrum. But we can we trust the study, or are They controlling the researchers?"
Now I'm scared (Score:5, Funny)
That was highly appropriate.
amplified? (Score:5, Funny)
two much gain means a lot of signal noise.
besides, I wear a lead skull cap myself, keep my hair shaved so that I can be in constant contact with the metal of the cap..
They are behind this (Score:5, Funny)
Duh... (Score:5, Funny)
It's a trick! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:amplified? (Score:5, Funny)
Yes! (Score:5, Funny)
Then the signals think that I'm a tree
Kinda like my WiFi connection..
We already knew that Al foil was insufficient (Score:5, Funny)
I'm not sure what disappoints me more (Score:5, Funny)
-John
Shiny side! (Score:5, Funny)
Possible Applications (Score:1, Funny)
You've got a tumor!
[/AOL VOICE]
Tin vs. Aluminum (Score:5, Funny)
That wasn't the point? (Score:4, Funny)
You really should try it. It's quite liberating to submit to anothers control.
Don't you feel better whenever you hit the 'Submit' button on Slashdot?
SUBMIT DAMN YOU! I TOLD YOU TO SUBMIT!!
No Duh (Score:5, Funny)
Everyone knows that aluminum did not exist before 1992. It was at that time that the Reynolds corporation made a bid to take over the US Government. Reynolds, an alliance between the city of Marina Del Rey and Tom Arnold (look it up, I don't use Google because they track my searches) began producing "anti Illuminati medium" or a-lumin-um by extracting the "conductivity" from steel, a naturally occuring mineral.
Reynolds knew that the CIA and FBI were using mind control through the "cable networks" to persuade the population to upgrade to HBO, the mouthpiece for the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.
You all just think you remember aluminum existing before 1992 because you do not wear your beanies, and have been influenced by HBO. Still need proof? Consider these facts:
1. If you travel outside the US, you will find that no other countries use or have heard of aluminum. (England has something similar called aluminium, which was developed in tandem by Margaret Thatcher's shadow government.)
2. If you travel to another country and they say that they have aluminum, you have not actually travelled to another country, but are on a HBO-enduced mind control trip.
3. Aluminum does not get hot in the oven. I've made thousands of fish sticks in the years after 1992, and no matter how badly I burn them, I can always lift them by the corners of the aluminum foil I placed them on.
Re:Oh no all these years (Score:4, Funny)
I guess we need stories like these...... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:This is the kind of info I come to Slashdot for (Score:5, Funny)
What did you expect? A dating site?
Of course not. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Shiny side! (Score:3, Funny)
That's right, it says so clearly in the instructions [zapatopi.net].
Tin Foil Hats (Score:3, Funny)
Q: So, then, tinfoil hats help you channel Bush? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:They are behind this (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe that's what THEY really want after all.
Ground your foil hats, you fools! (Score:5, Funny)
Which is why the real paranoid can easily be identified from the chain or copper wire attached to his foil hat that trails behind him.
Synthetic fabric carpets prevent the grounding effect of the wire, and you'll notice these carpets are standard issue in government building. Coincidence? I think not.
The correct foil to use is (Score:2, Funny)
U.S. Foil Co pre 1924 manufactured foil.
This is a foil of a tin lead mixture.
It is very hard to get as I have scoured the united states for almost my whole life in search of this foil.
I only release this information now as I have stockpiles of foil to last me 6 lifetimes.
The following code is to disrupt the HBDFH scanners that the goverment implimented in 1988. Use this code in all your online messages
UYG8756obP(867rvI&O*&Z(*%*INLI&%%%%%%%%%888*888*8
Re:amplified? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:2, Funny)
Re:An interesting thing (Score:5, Funny)
So, most real cases are governments controlled by demonic aliens? Now I'm scared!
The real conspiracy... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:They are behind this (Score:4, Funny)
Odd... couldn't find a "BUY ONE NOW" button, and didn't see any Google Ads.
Damn, that guy *really is* crazy.
Re:This is the kind of info I come to Slashdot for (Score:5, Funny)
NOOO! Dual shiny sides!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Alcoa can't wait! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:This is the kind of info I come to Slashdot for (Score:5, Funny)
Audiophiles use Gold Foil Hats (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:5, Funny)
Liars! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:They are behind this (Score:5, Funny)
No, that's what they WANT to you think that they're thinking about your attempts to outthink their doublethink.
I think...
Re:Duh... (Score:4, Funny)
Geriatric Leotard-wearing Alien Drones.
Tinfoil hats won't protect you against GWEN towers (Score:4, Funny)
New heavier headgear (Score:3, Funny)
Killing off the Paranoid (Score:2, Funny)
Tinfoil - Free, cheap, non-toxic (Unless you eat it to absorb its properties.. but those people are just crazy).
What's the alternative? Why LEAD of course! It blocks everything! But simply wearing it on our heads..That can be lethal! The lead will permeate the skin on our skulls and give us lead poisoning directly in our brains! And it ain't cheap either! How can I continue to afford to stock up on freeze-dried astronaut food??! And don't even get me going about how heavy it is.. My head could snap clear off my spine because of the weight!
Damn you, government sponsored scientists! You've FOILED our plans again!
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:1, Funny)
Use MindGaurd (Score:2, Funny)
Re:An interesting thing (Score:3, Funny)
Forget the hats, whadda bout my teeth!? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:An interesting thing (Score:3, Funny)
Just because people on Slashdot joke about it does not make it true. There are lots of jokes about Scotsman and sheep, but that does not mean sheep buggery is common and universal in Scotland. Duh.
Only on /. are jokes modded informative (no text) (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Alcoa can't wait! (Score:4, Funny)
New hat (Score:3, Funny)
I've been throwing up a lot lately though, I think They're getting in.
Re:No Duh (Score:4, Funny)
Ah-HAH! That explains all the medications that say, "Do not take if you use any MAOI inhibitors." Obviously there's drugs involved with the radio waves and subliminal messages.
-Adam
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:5, Funny)
Giving advice likely to kill the stupid is called passive eugenics.
Re:An interesting thing (Score:2, Funny)
For people who grew up in cities, the "government conspiracy" paranoia is most common.
This is because there are more people in the cities for the gov't to mess with.
For those who were brought up in rural areas, the "aliens" conspiracy is most widespread.
This is because the aliens want to avoid attracting the attention of the government.
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:2, Funny)
Anonymous Cowards (Score:5, Funny)
We should also expect that anything true will get modded down to -1. Change your filters, guys, change your filters!!
--LWM
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:5, Funny)
I'm not even going to get into this debate. I've just upgraded to a lead helmet!
It is rather cumbersome, but as a bonus to blocking everything, I've got a strong neck now.
Pringles (Score:2, Funny)
Re:No Duh (Score:3, Funny)
How about this, smarty pants: fish don't have sticks!
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:2, Funny)
Lead lead helmets are for wimps. I'm wearing a uranium foil ski mask.
I don't feel so good.
Re:An interesting thing (Score:2, Funny)
Why? Demonic aliens would have to be better than the scary clowns running the show now.
Re:Now I'm scared (Score:3, Funny)